Do you know you make your children the orphan children in married life?
Yes.
There are times your children feel they are orphans.
“How can my child be called an orphan when I am there to love and cherish him?” you are naturally indignant.
It is true you love and care for your children. You often pat yourself in the back thinking you are the best parent your children can ever hope to have.
But strangely, your children do not acknowledge you as a good parent.
They feel more like orphan children in your married life even when you are home.
YES.
They are orphan children in married life.
Who is an orphan?
Children who are parent-less and left to fend for themselves are called orphans.
This is the literal meaning. But it can be related to today’s children also.
Do you know your children often feel unloved and uncared by you?
It is true your children enjoy a good standard of living.
You buy your children the best things in the world. You work yourself threadbare for their betterment. You provide them the best education.
Do you think you are an excellent parent just because you give them a good standard of living?
No, you are wrong if you think so.
Good parenting has a different meaning altogether.
You often make your children feel like orphan children in married life by your indifferent
attitude towards them.
- You never understand the problems of your children.
- You are more concentrated on your work than on your children.
- You never spend quality time with them.
- You never know their emotional needs.
- You are too strict and preachy with them.
- You never see their problem from their point of view.
- You are not friendly with your children.
- You spend your time either before TV, or before computer when at home.
- You shove your children away from you citing your tiredness.
- You fight with your spouse before your children, not knowing how miserable they feel.
- You vent your anger on your children for feeble reasons.
- You are glued to the mobile when you are with your children.
- You degrade them before your friends\relatives.
- You compare your children with others making them cringe inside that they are not good enough.
- You interact with your children only to tell them to do this and that.
Can you see the long list of complaints against you?
I am sure most of you commit these mistakes.
Your children feel happy when you give them the best things in life. But this happiness is very superficial and shallow. It does nothing to their emotional well-being. If good standard of living was a criterion for well cared children, then only rich children would fit into it.
Many rich children feel empty in their lives, as their parents are more concentrated on their socialite circle than to look after them with personal care and love. This is the reason they take to drugs and alcohol to deal with their loneliness.
So, never think money can replace your presence for your children.
Good parenthood has a different parameter altogether!
Do you know your children feel emotionally deprived when you are indifferent to their tiny needs?
Your children feel lonely and lost. They might have all the costly and valuable things the world can offer. But they feel like an orphan in married life, as you do not pay any attention to their inner needs.
How you defend yourself as a good parent?
“I care the world for my children and work for their betterment” you defend yourself.
“I sacrifice myself for their well-being. When I do so much for them, how can I be accused of being a bad parent?” You are angry at being called a bad parent.
“How can my children be called orphans as they have us to look after all their needs”, you vehemently want to prove your point.
You never understand that your children need something else than your money.
- Your children need demonstration of your love.
- They want your moral support.
- They crave for your friendliness.
- They want you to understand their inner needs.
- They want you to spend quality time with them.
- They want you to have good relationship with your spouse as it makes them feel emotionally secure.
Your children do not just need your physical presence to experience the secured feeling of a family. They need you to understand their world of youthful fears and apprehensions.
“Children will not remember you for the material things you provided, but for the feeling that you cherished them.” Richard Evan
If you do not do so, you might be there physically present to them, but they feel they are like orphan children in married life.
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