Lack of compatibility makes your marriage full of stress, arguments, bitter allegations, and accusations, doesn’t it?
You marry out of intense love. But after a few years of marriage, you also easily fall out of love.
Do you know lack of compatibility is the topmost reason for unhappiness in your relationship?
What are the reasons that you could not adjust with your spouse?
- You are indifferent to the emotional needs of your spouse.
- You are too focused on your own comfort.
- You are not empathetic.
- You are not a good listener.
- You are not transparent with your spouse.
Is it very difficult to overcome lack of compatibility in your relationship?
It is very easy, provided you take the necessary steps.
Your compatibility will never happen on its own. You have to make it happen.
Are you now curious about the ways to overcome lack of compatibility your marriage suffers from?
Here goes!
1. Be friendly
Why is friendliness important for your relationship?
You like spending time with your friends, don’t you?
Why?
Because you take whatever your friends say in the true spirit-lightly. You can be yourself without any pretense with them. You can say anything you want to without censoring your words.
Imagine the same thing happening in your relationship.
You enjoy your marriage thoroughly.
2. Be empathetic
When you are concentrated on your own comfort, you never really know what your spouse needs. Your lack of empathy makes you do everything the wrong way.
Your unthinking and insensitive words hurt your spouse.
You attitude makes him\her feel you never really care for him\her.
But, what happens when you are empathetic?
You understand the emotional needs of your spouse intensely and deeply.
This makes you interact with him\her in such a way that he\she feels you are loving and caring.
3. Be transparent
When you hide things from your spouse, he\she feels all confused about your activities.
If you have a friend of the opposite sex, your spouse should know about it. It does away with unneccessary questions that might otherwise arise.
Confess about your money dealings.
Most often, money is the main cause for lack of compatibility among modern couples.
4. Give personal space
Do not underestimate the importance of personal space in your relationship.
After marriage, you literally cling to your spouse in the name of love.
Marriage in no way takes away the liberty of your spouse to maintain his\her personal zone.
So, give personal space to your spouse to do things he\she likes without you breathing down his\her neck.
5. Discuss family problems
You must discuss important family issues with your spouse. Taking arbitrary decisions and ignoring your spouse is a big no.
You must discuss your money dealings.
You must discuss about your children.
You must discuss about your profession.
You must discuss about your sexual needs.
6. Be a great listener
Do you know that lack of listening is the main reason why you do not enjoy compatibility with your spouse?
When you do not listen to your spouse, he\she hides his\her true feelings within himself\herself.
Such suppressed feelings act like sediments which finally leads to lack of compatibility in your relationship.
7. Be accountable
Accountability is a great relationship building block. It makes your spouse feel cared and looked after.
Never feel your spouse should bear the brunt of family responsibilities.
Ask most couples!
Their main complaint is the lack of accountability on part of their better half.
Understand that family responsibilities are combined and mutual and never one-sided.
8. Spend quality time together
Nowadays it is common to see couples plumping themselves before TV after returning from work.
With the blaring sound of TV swallowing your interaction, you do not speak with each other.
Switch off your TV and talk with your spouse.
Go for long walks.
Share mutual hobbies.
Do gardening together.
Share household chores.
The time you spend together makes your relationship thrive and survive.
9. Be supportive
Most of you ignore the emotional needs of your spouse.
In fact, it is the number one cause for lack of compatibility among couples.
When you do not utter consoling words when your spouse is depressed, it is natural he\she feels overlooked and neglected by you.
When you are indifferent to your spouse, he\she does the same to you.
The result?
You are very unhappy and dissatisfied in your married life.
10. Be encouraging
Yes.
You must encourage and keep on encouraging your spouse.
There is no limitations to it. It makes your spouse feel he\she has your full support. It ignites the love you have for each other.
CONCLUSION
Lack of compatibility is actually a byproduct of your negligence towards your relationship.
Unless your nurture your marriage, it will wither and die.
Adjust to the minor faults of your spouse.
Overlook mistakes done by him\her.
Enjoy your marriage the way it should – full of love, care, adaptability, tolerance and mutual respect.
Keerti says
Hi, I got married in 2015. It was love marriage but soon after marriage I got to know that my husband was flirting with his cousin all the while nd even after marriage it didn’t stop. After lot of fights he told me that he will stop talking with her. But after few weeks I got to know that he was chatting with her again using different name. I was devastated. I fought with him again nd made him stop. But I lost confidence in him nd used to check his phone. After 6 months I became pregnant. During 5th month of pregnancy I got to know that he is chatting again with a different lady who is our family friend. I was again very upset nd fought with both of them for fooling around with me. They chatted very vulgarly nd I became very depressed after seeing it. Later they both promised me that they will never do it again. I trusted them nd excused. Now after 1.5yrs I got to know that they continued chatting nd they also took extreme step i.e involved physically. When I confronted my husband he started crying nd said it was the biggest mistake of his life nd he doesn’t want to live anymore nd will commit suicide. I got scared nd told him that we have a baby now who needs her father nd told him not to take such extreme step. He became very emotional nd said that he loves me nd want me to be with him life long. I couldn’t help but excuse him again. After few weeks I questioned him about a girl with whom he is chatting casually but I was not comfortable as I didn’t want Him to get diverted again. He got very angry nd started shouting that our marriage is a big mistake nd he doesn’t want to live with me anymore. He says that he doesn’t love me. What’s his problem. Iam trying so much to make our relation better but he doesn’t want to compromise on anything. I have compromised on lot of things since our marriage but he never ever wants me to stop him from doing anything. What should I do now. Iam very very depressed. Please help me find a solution. I love him a lot nd want him in my life forever nd want him to love me.Please help.
Mathi says
Keerti,
When your husband cheats you physically, it is indeed very distressing for you. But you have to act courageously. You should never accept your husband indulging in cheating you, physically and emotionally.
Yes.
Your husband is also emotionally cheating you by threatening to commit suicide. He will never commit suicide. Your husband is also behaving immaturely by saying he does not love you. He definitely knows that you matter most to him than his casual flings. It is his way of making you accept things. Can you stay away from him for a few days? Your husband will immediately know that you will not tolerate his cheating anymore. There are many chances he will change as he will become scared that you might leave him for good.
Initially have a frank talk with him and tell him what you intend to do. You have to handle your problem with patience and intelligence. But never be emotionally blackmailed by your husband. Good luck.