It is sad that love failure has become a very common problem among today’s modern youth, isn’t it?
Most of you fall in love easily and fall out of love easily also.
Your love often has a short life span. It is because, you look at relationship superficially. When your love is physical, you easily succumb to the attraction you feel towards the opposite sex.
But there are times you love a person sincerely and feel that your love will extend a lifetime. And that you will live happily ever after, like in fairy tales.
But sadly, not all love affairs end in marriage. When the person you love is not sincere towards you, you face love failure. When your love fails, your world comes crumbling to your feet.
And mostly you do not have the mental strength to withstand the agony and anguish your love failure brings along with it.
You are heartbroken when your love fails, aren’t you?
Yes!
Love failure leaves you drained and mentally disturbed.
You are emotionally shattered when the person you ardently loved leaves you midway. This is a very common state of modern love which is rather fickle and feeble.
I was startled when I heard my neighbor screaming. The agony in her voice made me feel alarmed. I looked out of my window with my heart thudding.
The scene I saw is still engraved in my mind even though it happened some ten years ago.
The lifeless body of her son was carried for inquiry by the police. I could not believe this happening to her son.
I had just seen him few hours ago. He was pacing up and down the terrace of his house rather restlessly when I saw him. He smiled at me and I smiled back at him. That was the last time I saw my neighbor’s son and I could not believe that the young boy was dead.
What made the boy take this drastic decision of ending his life?
Love failure.
“My mother’s adamancy made my brother commit suicide,” the dead boy’s brother told me regretfully.
I didn’t know what to say.
“My brother loved a girl who worked in our factory. He asked my mother’s permission to marry her. But she refused saying that the girl’s family was below our status,” his voice choked with anger against his mother.
“Your brother could have insisted that he cannot change his mind. Why did he opt for this disastrous decision?” I sadly asked the boy’s brother.
“Well aunty, my brother was a meek person. He did not have the courage to marry the girl he loved, nor did he have the guts to fight with my mother for his love. Now he has disappeared from the world. What a waste of life?” he cried.
I totally agreed with him. His brother had no guts. He had lost his life for nothing. He should have fought for his love. If only he had done it, he would be alive now.
How do you feel when your face love failure?
- You feel your happiness has ended.
- You are unable to forget the person who rejected you.
- You take to drinks.
- You lose interest in your work.
- You fall in love on the rebound – A grave blunder.
These are life destroying habits.
Love involves two persons. Your love will succeed only when the other person is equal in his\her love. It is no use when you love ardently and the other person is superficial and shallow in his\her feelings for you.
What should you do when you face love failure?
It is natural if you feel dejected and depressed. But it should not destroy your life.
It is no use brooding over a love that has died and faded. A truly loving person will never shift his\her affection when he\she sees a greener pasture. Feel happy that your relationship with an unworthy person has ended.
Here are some easy ways to overcome love failure
1. Let out your steam by grieving
You are shattered when your love fails, aren’t you?
You are not a robot to be emotionless. So, it is only natural you become emotional. There is nothing wrong in it.
Do you want to cry?
Do you feel pained?
- Experience the pain.
Pain is sign of cure, isn’t it?
It is true you cannot forget the person you loved just like that. When your dream of marrying your lover fades into nothingness, it is only natural you feel your world crashing to your feet. It is a very normal feeling.
But stop!
Do not continue to grieve for a person who does not deserve you. After getting your grief out of your mind, look ahead towards your future life with positive energy.
2. Get your love out of your life forever
Do not brood about a person who does not deserve you.
Do you feel bottled up with misery and unhappiness because of your love failure?
- If so, confide your feelings to a close friend who really care for you.
- Share your bottled up emotions with your friend.
- The soothing words your friend utters makes you come out of your misery very easily.
- After confiding your sorrow, you will definitely feel much better.
3. Go for a vacation to divert your mind
You should move away from the place where you spend your love days at least for some time. Go for a vacation with your friends.
The new place and the new people you meet makes your mind light and fresh.
- Do you like beaches? – Swim and thoroughly enjoy yourself.
- Do you like riding? – Do that!
- Do you like trekking? – Go ahead with your friends.
- Do you like fishing? – Enjoy your fishing.
- Camping out is sheer fun.
Such outside activities really make your grief-laden heart lighten up.
4. Do not brood and lose your happiness
Brooding about your love failure will only make your life miserable. You have grieved about it. You have cried your heart out. That is the end of it.
- Do not brood and isolate yourself from your friends.
- Realize that your disloyal lover does not deserve your true love.
- Never feel wretched when the person you loved does not care for you.
- Do not lose your happiness when your ex is thoroughly enjoying himself\herself without a thought about you.
5. Never, spy on him\her
Do not keep spying the activities of your ex.
- Your ex means nothing to you.
- Do not follow the social media activities of your ex lover.
- The pictures of your ex having fun with others could rekindle your pain.
- Put a full stop to your feelings for your undeserving ex forever.
6. Make it a clean break
- Do not text your ex.
- Do not send pleading messages to your him\her.
- Even if your ex messages you, do not answer it.
- Delete his\her number from your contact list.
You will definitely meet your former lover sometime in your life.
- When you do meet your ex do not be flustered and agitated.
- Behave very coolly and formally, when he\she deliberately comes to speak to you.
- Move away casually from the place to show him\her that you have crushed your feelings for him\her to dust.
The shame and rebuff is on your former lover.
7. Concentrate on your work
Sometimes love failure can make you bitter and cynical. Never allow such feelings to encompass you.
- Your ex feels sadistic pleasure when you immerse yourself in sorrow.
- Do not fulfill his\her callous desire by being a failure.
- Show your incredible success as thumbs up to the callous person who threw you away.
- He\she cringes inside in shame that you do not care anymore.
8. Mingle with positive people
Do not stay away from people.
- You should mingle with people so that you do not feel isolated.
- Positive people make you feel that nothing is lost in your life.
- Your loved ones also make you feel sheltered and protected.
- Keep smiling.
- Do not look gloomy.
- You will find a better person who will truly love you for what you are.
9. Never, fall in love on the rebound
Do not fall in love immediately on the rebound.
- Sometimes you might meet a person who also faced loved failure.
- There is an immediate connectivity between you as both have faced the same pain and agony.
- There is an instant emotional chord.
- Remember that mutual love failure does not mean you have finally met the person of your life.
Do not make the same mistake again. Instant love fails instantly. But it might lead you to feel the same agony again. Take time for your wounds to heal.
Do not marry unless you are sure of your love for each other.
10. Consider yourself lucky
Your marriage would have been an utter flop if you had married the person who rejected you.
Even after your marriage his\her love would never have been true. Your married life would have been traumatic and nightmarish.
You have escaped being caught. Thank God for that.
CONCLUSION
Yours was not a love failure. It was a lucky escape from an empty person.
Do not be heartbroken. Live your life to the full.
Time is a great healer. One day true love will smile upon you to make you happy.
Surya says
Nw i feel hpy. This words will definitely help me to move forward without any distraction thank u so much..
Mathi says
Yes Surya. you should always move ahead in life. You will definitely find a true love who will give you the happiness you deserve.
Adis Garedew says
thank u very much you save me very well from life failure. i am very happy God bless you!
sourabh K says
yups i feel better ….
i moved on ….
thanx for suggestion
fishing was a good idea …..
thank
Swathi says
Hello mam how could I contact you through email or something.
Mathi says
Hi Swathi,
You can contact me through my email mathisurendran@gmail.com. I would be happy to help you.
Sanjay.s says
Hi mam I m sanjay I m suffering a heart brake how can I overcome from it mam
Mathi says
Hi Sanjay,
When the girl deserted you it just shows that her love was fake and untrue. Do you want to wreck your life thinking about a girl who doesn’t deserve you? It is a good thing that the girl showed her true colors before your marriage. In fact, you are now better off without her. Throw her away from your mind and life. Time is a great healer. You will soon forget her and find a better girl who will love you for what you are.
Pranav says
Dear Mam,
Your advice to throw up the past is practical but even after doing that why I feel that the separation has made me void of my existence, my aspiration?How can I deal with this?
Mathi says
Hi Pranav,
You must forget your love if it is not going to work. It is no use wasting your life for someone who did not reciprocate your love. Time is a great healer. Only during the initial phase of your love failure will you feel that your life is done with. But after a few years you will find that your failed love is a thing of past. It is you who must throw away the unpleasantness your love failure brought into your life. Concentrate on things that will take your mind off your failed love. You will definitely find the true love you longed for. Good luck.
Kowshik says
My love is still true and alive. But my girlfriend’s parents might never accept it and she might not have an option but to leave me for them. Even if this doesn’t work out for us, it doesn’t mean she is not loyal to me. She’s a feeling I never want to get over with, be it love or pain. Of course, I feel lost and my happiness has ended. There’s no hope for me as I wake up. But I know my thought process might change with time but instead of moving on, I just feel the urge to search the purpose of my life. I would never want another person to come into my life but just start learning to live alone. Not sure how much sense I am making but this is what I can think of doing at this moment.
Mathi says
Hi Kowshik,
You are doing it all wrong. You have many more years ahead of you. Do not lose your happiness over something which cannot be yours.