Are you experiencing the nerve wracking midlife crisis in your marriage?
If so, you are confused and baffled about your relationship –like an adolescent in his teens.
A teenager has all sorts of doubts when he enters the threshold of his adulthood. It is a very new world to him. It is an age when he experiences new and strange feelings. This makes him feel confused and chaotic.
You too feel muddled up in your midlife as you are in the starting point of your old age. You become cynical and skeptical about many things in your life.
‘Around mid-life everyone goes maniac a little bit.’- Tom Beranger
You are enamored by your spouse in the initial stages of your marriage. But, as years go by your relationship settles down to the mundane and the mediocrity.
It is really amazing how various stages of your age change the pattern of your married life. As you near middle age, you undergo many shocking changes in your emotions and feelings towards your spouse.
Do you want to know the top reasons for midlife crisis in your marriage?
It is because your life changes drastically as you gather in age.
- You begin to have health related problems.
- Your forthcoming retirement makes you apprehensive about your financial future.
- You no longer feel sexually attracted to your spouse.
- You are not as infatuated with your spouse as you were before.
- You feel your spouse is very selfish and does not care for you.
- You feel bogged down by your never ending family responsibilities.
- You gradually become cynical and skeptical about love.
- Indifference and apathy peeps into your relationship.
- You take each other for granted.
- You have namesake togetherness- living in the same house, but mentally too far away from each other.
Do you know boredom is also one the topmost reason for the midlife crisis in your marriage?
This is indeed strange.
You are never bored with your children, are you?
In fact, your love for your children grows along with their age. You enjoy their physical and mental growth. You feel proud of their achievement. You never stop dreaming about them.
Why is it so?
It is because you feel duty bound to your children. You don’t have overly expectations about them. You feel they belong to you, as they are your blood.
You do not feel your spouse belongs to you as both have diversified thoughts and attitude. This makes both clash with anger, frequently.
You also have unrealistic expectations about him\her. You become depressed and dejected when your expectations crumble one after another.
Midlife crisis in your marriage is a byproduct of your shattered expectations. It brings along with it cynicism and pessimism into your relationship.
Do you feel you are with your spouse as there is ‘no other go’?
An emphatic signal of midlife crisis in your marriage.
‘If I wasn’t married to him\her I would have been happy and content’.
A typical midlife feeling about your spouse.
Never become cynical and contemptuous towards your spouse. This makes you a ‘doubting master’ who has all sorts of doubts about the value of your relationship.
You can easily overcome midlife crisis in your marriage – Revive your love by following these easy tips!
- Do not only talk about family problems with your spouse. It is always boring and taxing.
- Talk about office gossips – Makes you laugh.
- Share hobbies together – Your interaction is absorbing.
- Watch TV together – Sit close to each other. Your physical proximity with your spouse makes you feel warm with love.
- Demonstrate your love.
- Plan a date for both – Yes- minus your children. Just the two of you. Your children should be provided some other entertainment so that they do not miss you. Don’t feel guilty about it.
- Never overlook the contribution of your spouse for the family.
- Never grow sexually apart. It is very dangerous. Keep your sex life alive and kicking.
- Have family dinner daily. Talk about innocuous things with your spouse. Never make it a time to spill forth your complaint list.
- Be emotionally supporting when your spouse feels down and out.
- Spend some personal moments with him\her after your children have gone to bed.
- Go for long walks.
- Tease each other,
- But never make derisive comments about your spouse.
- Never degrade him\her before others. Your spouse hates it.
- Trust his\her ability.
- Become more tolerant and patient.
- Smile at each other often. It has magical effect.
- Keep communicating.
- Accept that your spouse will change as he\she ages. Unknown to you, you also change. Changes in behavior means both have become more mature. It does not mean you have lost your love.
- Your dependency on each other should increase.
- Your resentment and anger towards each other should decrease.
- Your care and love for each other should increase.
- The communication gap between both should decrease.
Though the initial frenzied love you had for each other will cease to exist in your midlife, your relationship becomes more meaningful and mature.
Midlife crisis in your marriage exists because you never analyze how much your spouse means to you.
- Recollect the immense magnitude of problems you have overcome with the help of your spouse. You feel nostalgic with love for him\her.
- You have been together in all ups and downs of your life all through these years.
- Feel emotional that he\she has held your hand during your problematic years.
- Your spouse is still there with you after your children have left you to lead their own life.
So, midlife crisis in marriage is a negative illusion of your mind. The reality is that both mean a lot to each other. Never throw away your marriage which you had so far lovingly built. Never develop tons of hatred against your spouse. Develop more and more love. That is what you finally need in your midlife.