Do your parents interfere in your married life and make it hellish and highly stressful?
Never allow them to do so. It could destroy your marriage. Your spouse hates it when your parents interfere and you hate it when his\her parents interfere. It is as simple as that.
But you keep on making the mistake of allowing your parents to interfere in your married life. You feel they know what is best for you.
You only realize your mistake when your parents overstep their limits to create a deep rift in your relationship by their uncalled for interference.
When your parents interfere in your married life, have the courage to say NO.
When your parents interfere in your married life, it makes your relationship highly stressed and tensed.
YES.
Parental interference into the personal zone of your relationship is a danger signal. Never ignore that.
‘My in-laws are exceeding their limits’ Chandra, my cousin told me with a frustrated look in his face.
‘Why do you say so, Chandra?’ I was worried by the frustration in his face.
‘My wife’s parents come during the weekends to stay with us. They do not realize it is the only free time we have after our hectic week days. They are all over the house and I have no privacy’ he further fumed.
‘My wife spends all her free time with her parents. Not only that they talk in whispering tones with their daughter. I am sure it is some unneeded advice about me’ my cousin continued.
‘Don’t be too doubting. Her parents could be just having some personal moments with their daughter’ I lamely defended his in-laws.
‘You are in the wrong. After they go, my wife picks unneccerary fights about my faults. I dare not tell my in laws to keep away from my family life as I know my wife would never have it’ Chandra sighed unhappily.
His in-laws were indeed very interfering. This is what happens when your parents interfere in your married life. It makes your spouse unhappy and annoyed. Your parents also lose the respect due to them.
The advice of your parents will never help your relationship in any way. But it will definitely make it very confused and chaotic.
Your relationship is your own personal world. No one has the rights to interfere in it.
Not even the parents from both sides.
Why do you listen to your parents?
It is because you feel they know what is best for you.
Of course your parents know what is best for you. But they never know what is best for your relationship. Only you know it. What happens between you and your spouse is so personal that your parents cannot give you any proper advice about it.
What happens when your parents interfere in your married life?
Your parents knowingly or unknowingly become the cause for many misunderstanding between you. Their opinion is always biased and prejudiced against your spouse as they see everything from your viewpoint.
They feel you are always right and your spouse is always wrong. This naturally makes your spouse furious and angry.
Your spouse feels that his\her parents are more proficient in giving proper advice while you feel your parents are the best.
Parents from both sides do not know their limits and interfere into your personal life thinking they are helping you. Their intention is good, but unwanted.
Please understand family issues between you and your spouse need no third person to resolve it.
You should also realize that you have to live through your relationship, not your parents. So your parents should step aside to let you handle your relationship problems.
When family problems are resolved between yourself, you thrash out your differences within the four walls of your home. It becomes easy for you to overcome your differences when there is no third party present to advice you wrongly.
When you allow your parents to have a say in your family life, there can be only confusion and chaos in your relationship.
Do you know that many marriages undergo terrible stress because of the unwanted interference of parents from both sides?
The tug of war between your parents and the parents of your spouse create ugly scenes in your relationship. Your parents feel that they have more rights than the parents of your spouse.
The parents of your spouse feel the same way. You are caught in between two warring families whose prejudiced advice leads to many disturbing and hostile interaction with your spouse.
You can accept the love of your spouse, but not their interference. When your spouse wants to listen to his\her parents, you feel frustrated that your parents are overlooked. When you prefer your parents your spouse is irritated that you do not value his\her parents.
Can you now see how too much unhappiness the interference of your parents create in your relationship?
You should respect your parents and take care of them. They are the sole reason for your status and well-being. But this does not in any way give them right to barge into your married life.
They should understand that you are more than capable of handling your relationship issues. So they should keep a respectful distance.
When your parents interfere in your married life have the courage to say a big no. Keep the doors of your personal life closed to your parents. It is your very own arena. Only your spouse belongs to it.
Dimos says
What do you keep on talking about? that our parents are the sole reason for our status? are you serious? work, growing, going up the ladder, building a life , this is a personal journey.