Do you know that there are many questions engaged couples should discuss before marriage to drive away many relationship problems that might arise in the future.
But, you do not discuss crucial topics which might intrude into your happiness. You feel that your love for each other is so strong that it can carry you through your marriage.
Do you know this grave mistake makes you feel that you have married a wrong person?
You don’t want that to happen to your relationship, do you?
Is married life an examination that you have questions to discuss before marriage? You might ask.
Yes.
Marriage is like an examination. Unless you are prepared for it, you fail miserably.
‘Marriages maybe be made in heaven, but the maintenance must be done on earth’- Unknown
Why do most modern marriages fail?
Modern youth fall in love very easily. They fall out of love very easily also.
You marry with great expectations, but end your marriage in great disappointment.
What are the reasons behind your failed marriage?
You plan your wedding day with meticulous precision. You make elaborate arrangements to make your wedding a pleasurable treat.
But do never discuss your life after marriage.
You never discuss your financial commitments, before and after marriage?
You never talk about your loans and debts with your spouse.
You never confess your commitments that must be continued after your marriage also.
Do you know you are making the biggest blunder of your life when you do not discuss such fundamental issues before your marriage?
Life before marriage and after marriage is entirely different. Before marriage, your love is dominant. But after marriage, fulfilling your responsibilities become dominant.
Hidden facts and unknown details about you or your spouse can ruin your marriage. Never plunge into a hurried marriage without discussing the niggling doubts you have about your spouse.
What are the top crucial questions engaged couples should discuss before marriage?
No 1 of the questions engaged couples should discuss before marriage is your comfort level with your spouse
Have you ever analyzed your relationship with your spouse before marriage?
- Do you always argue about petty matters?
- Are your arguments serious and abusive?
- Do you face verbal and physical abuse from your spouse?
- Does he\she have highly traumatic habits like alcoholism or drug addiction?
- Is he\she a cheat or a persistent liar?
- Is he\she a pessimist?
These are very crucial issues which decide the success of your married life.
In your intense love, you feel you can change your spouse for the better. But the harsh truth is that you cannot change him\her.
You feel bitter and resentful when your spouse who promised to change after marriage, never changes his\her negative habits.
If you verbally abuse each other before marriage, you can never hope for a happy relationship.
Do you have a gut feeling that you cannot co- exist in harmony with your spouse?
Then, it is better to part ways than to have a bitter ending just after a few years of marriage.
No 2 of the questions engaged couples should discuss before marriage is about too much difference in social status
When in love the difference in your status level never occurs to you.
In fact, you are emotional that your elevated social status can give your spouse the life he\she dreamed of. You want the best for your spouse.
But what happens when the sheen of your marriage wears off?
You feel the vast difference in your upbringing. You feel your spouse is very mediocre and not up to your standard. The differences in the lifestyle he\she leads make you feel that you had made a grave mistake in marrying him\her.
When your marriage is new, you easily overlook the difference in your status. With the wear and tear of your relationship, you feel that your lifestyle with your spouse is far below your expectation.
You gradually experience many bitter fights and harsh arguments between you. Finally, you have a heart rending divorce.
Discuss with your spouse the vast difference in your social status.
Can you co- exist together in spite of your diversified upbringing?
Thrash it out with your spouse before marriage.
No 3 of the questions engaged couples should discuss before marriage is about your readiness for increased responsibilities.
Are you mentally prepared for marriage?
Are you mature enough to handle the many problems you will face in your relationship?
Ask these questions to yourself.
Marriage is a very responsible commitment. You cannot afford to be carefree and irresponsible after marriage.
A man bids adieu to his bachelor days after marriage.
A woman is loaded with commitments after marriage.
Life of both will change drastically. If you feel you are not mature enough for marriage, do not marry.
If you are unsure and jittery about your future with your spouse, it is time to have a frank talk with him\her.
No 4 of the questions engaged couples should discuss before marriage is your financial commitments.
Almost all couples fight over money matters.
Why?
Both hide your financial commitments from each other.
You are not transparent about your loans and debts before marriage. The concealed financial commitments of your spouse before marriage makes you feel cheated.
What is the result of such lack of transparency in money matters?
You feel cheated.
After marriage, you might plan a house\car\vacation\family financial future\ your children’s education with the combined income of both.
When your plans cannot materialize because of the hidden financial mess of your spouse, you are naturally frustrated and angry.
This is one of the topmost questions to discuss before marriage.
Sort out these needling matters before marriage so that they do not become a thorny issue in your relationship.
No 5 of the questions engaged couples should discuss before marriage is respect for each other
This is the most essential part of any marriage.
Mutual respect for one another is very important for your marriage to survive.
Does your spouse not respect you?
- Do you feel that he\she lets you down before his\her family\ friends?
- Does he\she makes uncalled for jokes about your appearance?
- Does he\she take you for granted?
- Does he\she vent his her anger on you before others?
These are the red signals of your relationship.
If your spouse takes sadistic delight in making you feel uncomfortable, he\she will not make you happy when you marry him\her.
You should be ready to tie the knot only when there is respect in your love.
Do not marry in haste and repent in leisure.
Conclusion
Do you feel that it is all right to marry despite these needling problems between you?
Do you think everything will settle down for the better after your marriage?
No.
Your marriage can never survive.
This is where the questions to discuss before marriage becomes very important. It makes you choose the right person to spend the rest of your life with.
Harleena Singh (@harleenas) says
Hi Mathi,
Yes indeed, the apt questions we need to ask ourselves before we enter into the marital bond 🙂
Even though they might seem petty or irrelevant to many, unless you know more about your relationship with your to-be partner, or the status your partner has and if it matches yours, it can be very tough to live with each other.
In a way, I don’t think live-in relationships are all that bad, because both sides at least get a chance to know each other before they get married, or else how would they know each other, other than the superficial ways, which is not what one needs to know, isn’t it?
Thanks for sharing. Have a nice week ahead 🙂
Mathi says
Harleena,
When in love everything about marriage looks glorious and rosy. The unrealistic expectations couples have is the number one cause for many disappointments after their marriage. The way the modern couples plan their wedding day is amazing. They discuss their dress, the food, the color theme and almost everything! But they never discuss their life! They are not transparent about their financial commitments. This is the reason why most marriages fail. Thank you for the visit and lovely to have you back. Hope you had a wonderful break!