Do you know that the common relationship mistakes you make in your marriage, converts it into a battle of survival?
You often fight with your spouse regarding many family issues. You never realize that your family problems can be solved, only when both put your heads together to solve it.
Marriage is always about mutual commitments and responsibilities, isn’t it?
But unfortunately, you do not combine with your spouse to bring solutions to your family issues. Instead, you use your family problems as an opportunity to accuse your spouse, as the reason behind it.
When you are accusing, petty fights between you and your spouse become a common scenario.
“My husband keeps mum and does not involve himself, whenever there are family problems. It is as though my husband feels, that it is my wifely duty to deal with family issues. How selfish can he be?” words of bitterness from Sarah, a girl I knew.
“My wife never notices my contribution towards the family. But she is the first one to accuse me, for any family problems that crop up” this was the sad comment of my cousin.
“My wife never trusts me. Whenever I am late from work, all hell breaks out as she abuses me of having fun behind her back” words of frustration from my neighbor.
All silly and avoidable relationship mistakes, aren’t they?
This is dangerous, as if you keep committing persistent relationship blunders, it could lead your marriage to the divorce court.
Yes!
Relationship mistakes inevitably makes devastating inroads of destruction in your married life.
1. Being silent instead of supporting
You are silent, when in actual fact you should be talking with your spouse.
Are you confused about what I am implying?
Let me explain.
What do you do when your spouse is looking off-color?
Mostly, you disregard it and go about your work, as you do not want to be entangled in unwanted arguments with your spouse. You feel that your plate is already overflowing with your own problems.
You are doing it wrong. You are not understanding the core to a good marriage.
Are you wondering what it is?
It is the emotional backup you give to your spouse.
Yes.
Your spouse needs your emotional support. He\she needs also your caring words.
So, do not ignore the problems of your spouse, as though it did not concern you.
Because, it definitely does.
Here is what you should do, when your spouse is facing problems.
- Talk to your spouse about his\her problems.
- Listen carefully to what he\she has to say.
- Make your spouse feel, that he\she has your unconditional support.
- Make your spouse feel, that you will always protect him\her.
- Do not isolate yourself from your spouse, by behaving in an unsympathetic and uncaring manner.
Your display of concern and care for your spouse will definitely strengthen your marriage.
2. Looking through your spouse, instead of noticing him\her
Looking through your spouse, is yet another common relationship mistakes you make.
When your spouse looks his\her best, you completely overlook it.
You never compliment your spouse for his\her good looks. You do not understand that your poor spouse literally yearns for your compliments.
When your spouse gets promotion, you are happy only for the monetary benefits it gives you. You coolly ignore the hard work behind the success of your spouse.
This is not the way to live your marriage. You are committing unwanted relationship mistakes.
Instead, do the following.
- Appreciate your spouse for his\her success, however tiny it might be.
- Convey how proud you are for the success of your spouse.
- A warm hug and a surprise gift, will make everything very special for your spouse.
Do you know, appreciating the good aspects of your spouse improves your married life, by leaps and bounds?
3. Disrespecting, instead of respecting
You often abuse your spouse verbally, don’t you?
You never think a big deal about the disrespectful words you unthinkingly use, when you interact with your spouse.
Using abusive words, is yet another common relationship mistakes you commit.
You say words that inflict tremendous hurt your spouse, without thinking about its negative impact.
You often ridicule the appearance of your spouse, making him\her completely turned off against you.
You also make unwarranted comments about the family of your spouse, making him\her resentful.
Never ever do it.
Understand the following things.
- Your spouse deserves respect from you.
- When you want your spouse to respect you, it is only natural that he or she expects it from you.
- Always put your spouse in your place.
- This simple trick makes you understand your spouse better.
When you respect your spouse, he\she feels emotionally secure with you.
4. Distrusting, instead of trusting
Suspicion destroys any marriage.
Checking the mobile calls of your spouse, makes him\her feel insulted by you.
Verifying the activities of your spouse with his\her friends, is yet another common relationship mistakes you indulge in.
Asking probing and suspicious questions when your spouse is late from work, makes your interaction bitter and hostile.
Can you live peacefully if you have doubts that your spouse is having fun behind your back?
Your relationship will wither away, if you do so. Being suspicious, and creating ugly scenes, are definite signs of an unhealthy marriage. Suspicion makes you drift away from each other, and it would be near impossible to salvage your marriage.
- So, trust each other. It is an absolute must for a good married life.
- Mutual trust takes years to build. Never ever destroy it by being suspicious.
- And never betray the trust of your spouse, by being disloyal towards him or her.
5. Comparing negatively, instead of encouraging
Comparing your spouse with others, is yet another common relationship mistakes you indulge in.
Both make these unwanted mistakes, deliberately.
Your husband compares you, with his more beautiful female colleagues. He passes scathing remarks that you are no match to them. Naturally, you are wild with anger at the audacity of your husband.
Your wife nags you, that you are no good compared to your more successful colleagues\relatives. Naturally, you are furious.
Both fume in frustration, when your ego is shattered by the other.
- Never compare your spouse with others. He\she hates it.
- Do not degrade your spouse before your friends\relatives. Your spouse feels insulted.
- Encourage the capacity of your spouse.
- Appreciate the good aspects of your spouse.
Encouraging your spouse is a simple way to make your marriage satisfying and fulfilled.
CONCLUSION
“There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion, or company than a good marriage.” Martin Luther
Can you see how you make these common relationship mistakes?
You never commit these blunders intentionally. You do it unthinkingly, without realizing the demoralizing impact it has in your marriage.
The damage such mistakes do to your married life, is enormous and irrevocable.
It destroys your happiness, peace and metal stability.
Many marriages crumble to failure, because of these unnecessary mistakes. So, avoid it at any cost to save your marriage.
Here is the link to “Marriage Realities”
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