The relationship problems while living abroad does make you nervous and jittery, doesn’t it?
It certainly puts lots of pressure on your relationship with your spouse.
When you reside in your country you have the moral support of your loved and close ones when you need it. When you have any differences with your spouse your family instantly comes to your aid.
But, living abroad puts your relationship on an entirely different platform, doesn’t it?
You experience many relationship problems while living abroad- Invariably it is mostly emotional.
- You have to leave behind your family and friends.
- The culture of the country you live is very alien to you.
- You are unable to jell with the country and its people.
- You feel you are treated as a second hand citizen.
- You are tensed by the loneliness that surrounds you.
Of course your spouse is there with you. But you yearn for your relatives and parents. Most of the couples who live abroad miss the warm love of their country and family.
Then why do you choose to live abroad after your marriage?
Mostly it is for financial reasons. Money is the most needed thing in this modern world. You need lots of money to fulfill your dreams of an own home and a financially secure future.
Ask couples from India, Pakistan or Sri Lanka why they opted to work outside their country!
Their answer would invariably be ‘dollars’.
Couples from Asian countries find Western countries too daring and too permissive.
They are terrified that their children might lose interest in their culture and opt for western way of living.
And couples from Western countries find Asian countries boring and unexciting.
They feel bored by the conservative Asian way of living. They long for the liberty and freedom they enjoyed in their country.
A very natural feeling.
Everyone is used to their own culture and traditions.
You want your children to live according to your tradition and not theirs.
Such diversified atmosphere brings in tension and stress into your relationship. Your boredom makes you gloomy and morose. Instead of sharing your problems and apprehensions with your spouse you vent your heated up emotions on him\her.
Makes your interaction very tedious and boring, doesn’t it?
A very wrong thing to do.
You work aboard for your betterment. So, make your stay enjoyable and agreeable till you live there.
The other day I went to visit my friend’s daughter who had returned from the USA.
I was surprised to see her looking jaded and fatigued.
I thought it was tiredness from a long journey. But I was taken aback when she had a long list of complaints.
‘I want to come back to India. But my husband wants to stay back there for some more years. I miss the liveliness of India. My life is so mechanical there’ she told me dejectedly.
‘Well, I heard the Americans were very friendly’ I asked her.
‘Absolutely aunty. I have no complaints against them. But my husband works in one place and I work in another. We meet only during weekends. Then too we have arguments’. I could see she was feeling of pinch of living abroad, away from her parents and relatives.
‘The country is very permissive. I am terrified my children will become westernized’ she told me worryingly.
I thought that my friend’s daughter was behaving childishly.
How can she expect an India in United States?
The culture of every country is different.
Why make a big deal about it when you are not going to follow them?
Every country has its unique tradition. You should respect them. But you should always follow your tradition. Otherwise you would lose your individuality.
Are you wondering how to handle your relationship problems while living abroad?
Be a Roman when you are in Rome!
An old saying!
A golden saying!
Your culture and tradition should be within you. Never display it brazenly to show yourself as different. You cannot make friends if you do so. Be friendly with your neighbors and colleagues.
You have the choice of visiting many interesting places and many exotic traditional festivities to see. A rare opportunity living abroad gives you.
The easiest way to handle relationship problems while living abroad is being compatible and tolerable towards your spouse. You are living in a different country amidst a different working atmosphere.
So, you have to support each other. If you fight and argue with your spouse you are sure to feel forlorn and lost.
Do not expect their culture to be the same as your country. Adapt yourself to the country you live in. Be tolerable and adjustable to their way of life.
Weekends should be spent together. Enjoy your time with your spouse by having good fun. Never bring up tense family issues in your interaction.
Share household chores with your spouse.
Go for shopping. It is fun to buy things you cannot get in your country.
Visit places of interest of the country you live in. It makes your time enjoyable.
Make friends with the people of the country you are staying in to feel comfortable. Good friends are great companions anywhere.
Invite your neighbors to enjoy the fun of your festivals. Cook them the delicacies of your country. Makes you feel good.
Learn about their culture. You will be pleasantly surprised to see the positive aspects of their tradition.
Do not brood that you have been forced to live in a country where you feel you do not belong to. Makes you depressive.
Do not keep cribbing about the comfort and ease of living in your country. It never helps. In fact it makes you tensed and worked up.
Do not be lured by their culture and try to change yourself. This will create lots of future problems in your relationship when your spouse does not appreciate it.
Always take a step back and observe their culture. Do not ape it. Do not lose your individuality.
Guide your children to balance between the traditional values of your country and the culture of the place they are staying in.
Keep in touch with your family back home.
Keep the warmth of relationship alive. You now have many modern technologies to communicate with them.
Conclusion about the relationship problems while living abroad
Wherever you are, it is the compatibility with your spouse that counts. It makes it easy for you to shove away the realtionship problems while living abroad even if you live in a place so unlike your country.
The warmth you feel in your togetherness makes you feel happy and content anywhere you live.