Does the seven-year itch in marriage really exist?
It is a fact, that seven years itch exists among most couples.
Do you know why?
During your love days, you only see the best side of your spouse. So, you are infatuated by him\her. You feel that you are the luckiest person in the world, to have married your Mr\Ms Perfect.
But as years go by, you have all sort of doubts about your spouse. You feel he\she is not the person you loved.
In fact, you often feel you are living with a stranger about whose true self you never really know. Many a time, you crumble within yourself in agony, that you have made a grave mistake in marrying your spouse.
“My spouse has changed so much, that I scarcely recognise the person I loved.”
How many of you have felt so, about your spouse?
I am sure, most of you feel so.
Why does this feeling erupt in your married life?
Here are the simple reasons.
During your love days, you only put your best foot forward and your spouse also shows only his\her best side. This is the reason, your love days are heady and exciting.
But meeting in restaurants, malls, and cinema halls is not marriage, you know.
Living under the same roof 24\7, is a different genre altogether.
After marriage, you see each other, day in and day out. You now get used to your spouse, so much so that there is nothing new about him\her. Everything about your married life now becomes stale and dull.
Each year of your marriage, brings you new disillusionments about your spouse to you.
The disillusionment you feel after many years of your relationship with your spouse, is called the seven-year itch in marriage.
Does the number seven indicate that your marriage will face problems only after seven years?
You are wrong.
What then is this seven-year itch in marriage?
How does seven itch affect your married life?
All marriages go through a rough patch. After the honeymoon phase of your marriage is over, you will be feeling that your relationship is on a steady decline.
You are taken aback, when your frenzied love for each other no longer seems to exist.
You now understand the harsh reality, that you must forever be adjusting and adapting to make your marriage survive.
And yet another reality you face in your relationship is very shocking to you. You are exposed to the true image of your spouse. An image that is not quite to your liking.
In the initial years of your marriage, you have nothing much to complain about your spouse.
- Everything about your spouse excites you.
- You easily forgive your spouse for his\her mistakes.
- You overlook the infuriating habits of your spouse.
- You find it easy to make up after your arguments.
Why is your relationship vibrant and enthusiastic, in the beginning stages of your marriage?
It is because your love for each other has not yet lost its sheen. And both have not yet outgrown each other.
Shall we see through an example?
Let us suppose a new movie is released. And all reviews proclaim it as an interesting film.
You initially watch the movie with fascination. You do not find any faults in the acting, direction, and screen play. You feel the movie is fantastic.
Your love days and honeymoon days, are your initial watching of an interesting movie.
You cannot have enough of it.
But after watching the movie again and again, you find many flaws in it. The feel that the acting is not that perfect. The screen play which you initially raved about, has a lot of holes in it. The direction is not up to the mark.
You now feel that the movie is just about average.
Why do you change your opinion about a movie, which you had earlier stamped as very interesting and enthralling?
It is because when you watch the movie repeatedly, your mind loses its interest in it. You no longer focus on its good points. You have had enough of it.
You now watch the movie with a keen concentration to find directorial and acting flaws in it. And you find many. You now think that the movie is not great after all.
This is what happens in your married life.
As years pass by, you become too used to your spouse. You find him\her lackluster. Many years of mundane life you spent with your spouse, makes you feel your marriage is boring and very ordinary.
You now shred your spouse, off his\her good points. Your mind now only focuses on his\her negative points.
You wonder why you thought your spouse to be the Mr.\Ms. Right for you.
Like regretting the brand of TV\mobile phones\laptops you had eagerly bought, you regret marrying your spouse.
Reasons for the seven-year itch in marriage for your wife
- Your wife finds you bone lazy
- She is angered by your filthy habit of strewing things around.
- Your wife is wild that you do not help her in household chores.
- Your wife resents when you make scathing comments about her appearance.
- She hates it when you spend more time with your friends.
- Your wife dislikes your way of overlooking her.
- She feels you are selfish and egoistic.
- Your wife feels you are too questioning and criticizing.
So, your wife now begins to nag you about your drawbacks.
Reasons for the seven-year itch for your husband
- Your husband feels you look grubby and shabby.
- Your husband is resentful, that you only cook him indifferent meals.
- He complains you spends hours in the mobile talking with your friends\family without catering to his needs.
- Your husband is angered when you persistently compare him with your friends\colleagues.
So, these are the common reasons your husband no longer feels attracted to you.
Can you see that most of your marital problems are minor?
But when you never make efforts to rectify it, it becomes a tremendous marriage wrecker. When your relationship meanders about aimlessly, with each living his\her own life, your marriage hits the seven-year itch.
Can you see it is the years of boredom and lifeless togetherness, that finally wrecks your marriage?
CONCLUSION
“Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years.” – Simone Signoret
Almost all couples yearn to live a happy marriage.
You too want a fulfilling married life. But, invariably you find it impossible to stabilize your marriage.
You find many things about your spouse, infuriating and irritating. Instead of adjusting to it, you make much ado about this. You finally feel that you have married a wrong person.
Seven-year itch in marriage, is just a mathematical calculation.
Never make the seven-year itch in marriage, a reason for your permanent separation.
Be adjusting and tolerating towards your spouse, and convert your marriage into a compatible togetherness until the day you live.
Here is the link to “Marriage Realities”
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