Do you know spending quality time with your spouse is your real togetherness?
‘I don’t want to be like couples who end up in bed watching TV’ a dialogue from the movie Sex and the City is very applicable to the marriage scenario of most couples.
You assume watching TV together is a great sign of intimacy you have with your spouse.
Of course it feels good to relax in the bed with him\her to watch your favorite movie or any shows you like. It gives you a feeling of togetherness.
Shall I ask you a question?
Do you prefer watching TV or interacting with your spouse?
Your invariable preference is TV.
You enjoy watching TV together as it is a time when you do not have any arguments with your spouse.
You comment about the actors, the direction and the screen play – all non-controversial topics, isn’t it?
Does it in any way help you to understand each other?
It does not.
You watch TV, feel tired and retire to bed feeling you have spent quality time with your spouse.
It is fine when watching TV is just a minor part of your togetherness. But when it becomes your entire routine at home you do not actually communicate with your spouse the way you should.
Spending quality time with your spouse definitely makes positive changes in your relationship.
How do you actually spend time with your spouse when at home?
- You talk with your spouse only about important family issues and problems.
- You go shopping together.
- You watch movies.
- You are home to spend your weekends.
Is this spending quality time with your spouse?
It is not.
Sadly the way you spend your time at home is very routine and ordinary. Nothing to feel excited about.
Do a simple analysis about your relationship!
- Have you ever taken time to appreciate your spouse?
- Do you tease each other?
- Do you share your fears and apprehensions with your spouse?
- Do you enjoy good sex?
- Do you discuss just about anything with your spouse?
- Do you enjoy mutual interests?
- Do you keep on communicating with him\her?
Are these qualities part and parcel of your relationship?
It means you are spending quality time with your spouse.
Why are these qualities important to your relationship?
Unless you communicate with your spouse you cannot become emotionally intimate. Unless there is emotional intimacy between you, your married life is very formal and boring.
Do you ever stop interacting with your friends?
You do not.
In fact you are very free and forthcoming in your interaction with your friends.
It is because your interaction always ends in fights and arguments. So, instead of facing a tongue lashing from your spouse you prefer to keep aloof and silent at home.
Effective ways to spend quality time with your spouse.
Do not feel reserved to be frank and open with your spouse.
Speak freely about anything.
Both feel tired from a hectic work schedule. It is only natural that you feel edgy and keyed up.
So, do not lease your steam by yelling hot words as soon as you enter home.
Take time to refresh yourself. A revitalizing bath can make your tension disappear.
If your spouse is sulking and sharpening his\her claws for arguments do not jump into the fray.
Understand that it is one of his\her bad days. Be empathetic and thoughtful.
Maintain your distance if your spouse is in a foul mood.
If he\she looks downcast it means something undesirable has happened in his\her workplace which is making him\her feel dejected and off mood.
If you ignore it, your spouse feels that you are uncaring and unloving. When you speak sympathetic words it makes him\her feel that he\she has your unflinching support.
Share about your time in your work place so that your spouse knows about your day.
Have tea or coffee talking and laughing together.
Play with your children.
Ask them about their day in school\college.
Share the household chores of your spouse with willingness.
Do you know most couples fight over sharing of household work?
Have intimate moments with your spouse. Not just sex. Sex is just a physical pleasure. Affectionate kisses and hugs speak of your love more than just sex.
Talking in low voice in bed makes you feel true intimacy.
Your time at home is very precious and treasure like. Home is your domain. You can either make it a heaven or make it a hell.
Never make persistent arguments, continuous sulking, stubborn approach, indifferent attitude your marriage scenario.
Make quality time with your spouse your priority. The best way to enjoy your relationship, you know.