Disappointing marriage makes you feel emotionally shattered, doesn’t it?
Most of you think that your marriage is not as rosy as you thought it to be.
In fact you have many disappointments about your spouse also.
‘The biggest disappointments in our lives are often the result of misplaced expectations. This is especially true when it comes to relationships and interactions with others.’ –Melcher Lim
‘My spouse is not what I thought him\her to be’ you often moan about your wrong perception about him\her.
You build up idealistic expectations about him\her which invariably end in a disappointing marriage.
Disappointing marriage is a byproduct of over expectations
1. You feel your love for each other has lost is shine
You are utterly disappointed when your spouse does not display his\her love for you as ardently as he\she did before marriage.
He\she behaves as though he\she is disinterested in you.
Everything about your relationship is very ordinary and mundane – nothing to feel excited about.
2. You find your spouse total different from what you assumed
During your love days you found your spouse very interesting and remarkable.
You thought he\she was an exceptional person.
But after marriage you think your spouse is very stale and boring.
You are irritated by his\her habits.
You feel he\she is not as firm and assertive as you thought him\her to be.
3. You have no topics to talk about
When in love you had so much to talk about.
Both talked about everything under the sky for hours together.
But after marriage you converse with your spouse only regarding important family issues.
You have no fun topics to talk with him\her.
In fact you have to search for interesting topics to talk with your spouse.
Both become silent and restrained.
Uneasy calm prevails in your home.
Far from the married life you had dreamed of.
You feel yours is a disappointing marriage, don’t you?
4. You fight frequently
When in love you thought both were the most adjustable couples in the whole world.
You assumed that you would never argue or fight with your spouse.
But the opposite happens.
After marriage you cannot adjust with your spouse.
Your conversation invariably end in bitter fights.
You accuse each other vehemently as if you were enemies.
5. You feel you are taken for granted
You feel your spouse escapes his\her duties and makes you accountable.
There is no mutual sharing of family commitments.
You feel used and uncared when your spouse takes it for granted that you are only doing your duty.
6. Your spouse never remembers your birthdays.
When in love your birthdays were great party days.
He\she bought you surprising gifts.
Both dined in high-end restaurants.
He\she behaved lovey-dovey with you.
But after marriage he\she never remembers your birthdays.
It is just an ordinary day for you.
You are completely at loss by your disappointing marriage.
7. Your spouse easily degrades you
Before marriage your spouse is very appreciative.
He\she feels you are the best.
But after marriage there is an about-turn in the attitude of your spouse.
He\she demeans you before his\her friends\relatives.
He\she makes scathing remarks about your ability.
Your spouse also uses abusive words against you with ease.
8. Your spouse becomes indifferent
Your spouse was all caring and loving before marriage.
So you build up great dreams of a passionate and loving spouse.
But you are in for the greatest disappointment in marriage.
Your spouse shocks you by being uncaring and unloving.
He\she is never supportive to your emotional needs.
He\she lets you to fend for yourself when you are emotionally upset.
You wonder why you married him\her at all.
9. You never spend quality time together
You no longer have fun together.
Both live in your own world.
Your spouse never shares his\her feelings with you.
He\she is not as humorous as he\she was during your dating days.
You feel utterly bored to spend time with him\her.
10. Your expectations come crashing down
All your expectations about your spouse is dashed to nothingness after marriage.
You feel shattered that your relationship is not what you expected it to be.
You thought your married life will be fun. It is not so. It is a nerve-wracking responsibility.
Your carefree days before marriage days are gone forever.
You are plagued by never-ending family issues.
Are you justified in feeling disappointed with your married life?
Disappointing marriage stems from your unrealistic and idealistic dreams about your spouse.
It is a dream that can never become a reality. The only remedy is to be practical to accept your spouse as he\she is.