What exactly are the commandments of a great marriage?
You want a happy relationship with your spouse more than anything else in this world. But strangely, it is something you never seem to achieve.
In fact, you feel very unhappy in your relationship after a few years of marriage.
Why does this happen to your relationship?
It is because you do not understand marriage in its proper perspective. Marriage is not an easy joke. It is hard work all the way through. In fact, it is a great responsibility.
In your profession you have certain protocol to be followed. Likewise, your relationship also has it own do’s and don’ts.
Shall we call these do’s and dont’s the commandments of a great marriage?
Unless you follow these commandments of a great marriage, you cannot hope to be happy with your spouse.
1. Easy friendliness
You like being with your friends because you can be yourself with them. You need not put on a pretense to please them.
- You never censor your words with your friends.
- You say what you feel.
- You are never misunderstood by them.
This is the friendliness you should enjoy with your spouse.
You should be able to talk with him\her without fearing that you will be misinterpreted. Most couples are frightened to talk frankly with their spouse, as they are afraid that it might lead to unwanted arguments.
This should never happen to your relationship.
So, friendliness is one of the topmost commandments of a great marriage.
2. Accepting your spouse as he\she is
You mostly don’t accept your spouse for what he\she is.
Most of you want to change your spouse according to your liking. You feel you have the right to expect certain behavioral changes in your spouse. So, you force your ideas on him\her.
- You want to change his\her way of doing things.
- You want to change his\her habits.
- You want to change his\her way of dressing.
Can you see what you do is more like thrusting your likings on your spouse.
The result?
Your spouse hates it. The simplest of commandments of a great marriage is to accept your spouse for what he\she is.
3. Never stop communicating
It is strange that after a few years of marriage, you cease to communicate with your spouse.
“I have never stopped communicating with my spouse. In fact I constantly talk with him\her” you vehemently defend yourself.
Of course, you communicate with your spouse.
About what?
You talk about important family issues. You talk about your children. You talk about the groceries to be bought. You talk about important payments.
Can you see how routine and mundane your conversation is?
This is not the communication I am implying.
- You should communicate about everything you feel with your spouse.
- You must laugh together.
- You must tease each other.
- You must share your inner most feelings with him\her.
This is the sort of communication a great marriage needs.
4. Have enough spacing to do things you like.
Spacing is very important of the commandments of a great marriage.
Why?
Basically, you are an individual with your own unique traits. This individual is very close to your heart. It is the real you.
- You want to pamper the individual in you.
- When your spouse breathes down your neck, eating up all your time, you do not have the space to be yourself.
This is a common relationship problem most of you face.
Never, indulge in it.
Both should not interfere into the personal zone of the other.
5. Never abuse your spouse – verbally or physically
When you abuse your spouse, it makes your relationship wither away. Using vulgar expletives is a big no.
- Abusive words leave a deep scar in the mind of your spouse against you.
- He\she never forgets the hurt you inflicted easily.
- Physical abuse takes away all the goodness in your marriage.
Arguments are perfectly normal in your marriage. You need not feel apprehensive about it. But, when your arguments are full of verbal and physical abuse, your marriage will definitely end in the divorce court.
6. Respect your spouse
Respect gets top priority in the commandments of a great marriage.
Does respect means that you should be servile to your spouse?
Not at all.
- You must respect the individuality of your spouse.
- You must respect his\her family.
- You must respect his\her viewpoint.
- You must listen to him\her.
- You must never degrade your spouse before your friends\relatives.
- You must never ever, compare him\her with others.
This is the sort of respect your marriage needs.
7. Never snoop on your spouse
Spying on your spouse makes your relationship ugly. Unless there is mutual trust, your marriage cannot survive.
- Marriage does not give you the right to spy into the social media activities of your spouse.
- Eavesdropping when he\she is talking in the mobile is a crass behavior.
- Checking the whereabouts of your spouse is another big no.
8. Appreciate your spouse
Before marriage, you easily appreciated your spouse. But after marriage, it is as though you have nothing to appreciate about him\her.
Yes!
After marriage, you cease to appreciate your spouse. Instead of appreciating, you start criticizing your spouse. You ridicule him\her so much so, that he\she begins to resent you.
- Say good words about your spouse constantly.
- Appreciate his\her good looks.
- Appreciate his\her responsibility.
Appreciation is the easiest of the commandments of a great marriage.
9. Never, allow your parents to interfere in your married life
Third party intrusion into your relationship should be avoided at any cost.
- Whatever issues you have with your spouse should be dealt between yourself.
- No one knows better to solve your relationship problems as good as you.
When you go running to your parents with a complaint list about your spouse, it clearly shows that all is not well with your marriage.
10. Spend quality time together
Most of you think that being in the same house is all about spending time together.
Though you live in the same house, both live like an island. Both are addicted to the social media as though your life depended upon it.
Your time at home is swallowed by TV, internet and mobile phones. I have seen couples in many places glued to their mobile phones\television. Even when eating, they look at their mobile rather than at each other.
Try avoiding social media for a few days. You will find how much time you have for each other.
- Go for long walks.
- Have mutual hobbies.
- Spend fun time with your children.
- Cook together.
Try it and you will see how much you enjoy your time together.
CONCLUSION
Are these simple commandments of a great marriage difficult to follow?
Not at all.
Marriage is never a one man show. It is and will always remain a duet. Dance in harmony with your spouse to make your married life happy, relaxed, and comfortable.
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