Top 10 super tips for happy married life are the basic niceties which convert your marriage into a beautiful relationship.
What makes you feel happy in your married life?
- The love of your spouse
- His\her spontaneous appreciation
- The instant and immediate emotional support of your spouse
- His\her sustained respect for your contribution towards the family
- The sense of belonging you enjoy with him\her.
It is natural for you to have certain expectations in your married life. Your dreamy expectations about your spouse will never materialize. But there are certain basic niceties which you have the right to expect from your spouse.
A must for a happy married life!
‘I want to behave naturally with my spouse. It would look stilted if I do everything with concentration for niceties.’ is this your argument?
You are wrong!
’You know when you have found your prince because you not only have a smile on your face, but in your heart as well.” —Unknown
When you live your married life according to your mindset, you concentrate only on your viewpoint. This makes your relationship argumentative and confrontational. You feel disappointed and distressed by the callous behavior of your spouse.
What should you do to make your marriage happy?
You should follow certain basic niceties.
Top 10 super tips for happy married life!
1. Discuss important family issues together
You face many problems in your married life.
Family issues make you stressed and tensed, doesn’t it?
It is now you should join hands together. You should have an amiable discussion with your spouse to overcome your problems.
If you are left to handle family issues without the support of your spouse you feel bitter and resentful against him\her.
2. Make your spouse feel included in the family circle
Do you go to family functions together?
Do you completely ignore your spouse and stay with your friends\relatives?
If your spouse is not familiar with your relatives\friends he\she feels left out. You should introduce your spouse to them and include him\her in the conversation so that he\she feels belonged in the family circle.
3. No arguments in public places
Have you seen some couples?
They argue and fight in full public view. They make themselves a laughing spectacle. Before venturing out decide where you are going. Fix your budget. Discuss the things to be bought.
Do you know arguments flare up between couples regarding what is the best brand?
Silly of them, isn’t it?
You can avoid making this mistake when you have friendly discussion with your spouse before you start.
4. Have personal money
Both earn to maintain a good standard of living. You want to give the best for your children. You should share the financial commitments of the family mutually.
But does this mean you cannot have personal money of your own?
Marriage in no way takes away your liberty to have your own personal money.
You are after all an individual, aren’t you?
You should have personal money which is all yours. You have your own desires. You have the right to fulfill it. This small aspect can wreck your happiness if it is not fulfilled. It can make your relationship lot less tensed when are allowed your own personal money.
5. Mutual sexual interest
Sex should give you happiness and excitement. It needs the mood of both. When you thrust your sexual inclination on your spouse when he\she is not in the mood the pleasure is lost. Instead it makes your spouse resent and dislike your unthinking attitude.
6. Give enough privacy and freedom
You need personal moments for yourself even if you are married. You cannot be treading on each other all through the day.
You might want to watch your favorite show. You should be allowed to do it.
You might want to visit your parents and stay with them for a few days. There should be no intrusion from your spouse.
Do you want to go shopping?
You should be allowed.
You are an individual with your own personal desires. Fulfill it without begging the permission of your spouse.
7. Appreciation pays.
Do you appreciate your spouse?
It is the most overlooked aspect of married life. But the most important one also.
You do not appreciate your spouse because you take him\her for granted.
This makes you overlook the contribution he\she makes for the family. ‘My spouse is doing his\her duty. There is nothing to appreciate’. An extremely wrong attitude on your part! It makes your spouse feel used and uncared. Small words of appreciation work wonders for your relationship.
8. Spying is taboo
You should trust your spouse as your own.
Do not check her\his emails and messages?
Do you spy what he\she does in his\her work place?
Do you check his\her bank account?
You are degrading your spouse. You are being suspicious. You are snooping. Never ever do it.
9. Verbal and physical abuse
Do you abuse your spouse physically?
It is plain domestic violence.
Do you abuse him\her verbally?
Yet another form of violence- hurting words can never be taken back.
Treat your spouse with respect and care. Do not show your power on him\her.
10. Caring attitude
What do you do when your spouse falls sick?
You take him\her to a doctor and buy the medicine prescribed by him. You feel your duty is over.
This is uncaring attitude!
It does immense damage to your relationship. When you look after your spouse with care, he\she feels loved by you. Do not overlook this intricate aspect of married life.
Are these basic niceties difficult to follow?
It is not!
Attention to the minor and small aspects of marriage makes your relationship thriving and pulsating with excitement. Open your mind to feel the goodness of your spouse! React in a manner to make your spouse feel respected and loved.
monika says
Mathi, you are amazing!! what valuable advice you offer, everything you say is true! I am learning a lot from you, as I am in my second marriage and I am determined for it to last and be happy. he is a truly wonderful man, with faults like us all, but he tries so hard and so do I. We have the potential to have a fantastic married life. But your advice is like pearls of wisdom. I will continue to read your articles. Please write many more!!