Incompatibility in marriage makes your relationship hostile and aggressive, doesn’t it?
What happens when you are incompatible with your spouse?
You treat your spouse as though he\she was your enemy. You refuse to adjust to the minor faults of your spouse. You become indifferent towards the feelings of your spouse.
You abuse each other for the most innocuous reasons. You ignore the emotional needs of each other.
Such behavior is very bad for your relationship.
You can never experience real happiness in your married life if you do so.
Incompatibility in marriage wrecks your mental peace. It makes your day-to-day relationship with your spouse boring and uninteresting.
Are you worried when there is too much incompatibility in marriage?
Do not worry.
You are not alone.
You are just one among many couples who feel that they have nothing in common between them. Incompatibility is one of the top reason for the alarming rise in divorce among couples.
Is compatibility in marriage that important?
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Compatibility is the strength of your married life. It binds your relationship firmly with love and mutual respect.
But sadly you co-exist with your spouse out of compulsion and convenience.
Top 5 reasons for incompatibility in marriage
1. You always want things done your way
You always want your ideas to be implemented in your family life.
You do not have the patience to listen to the views of your spouse.
You never realize that yours is a pure selfish mentality.
You should understand one simple truth.
Marriage involves your spouse also.
How will you feel if your spouse wants everything done his\her way?
You will definitely revolt, won’t you?
Your spouse also feels the same way.
Mutual discussions and decisions makes resentment and hostility between you disappear.
When your spouse values your thoughts and views, you respect him\her for his\her understanding.
Being pliable and flexible goes a long way in doing away with incompatibility in marriage.
2. You argue and argue for everything
Arguments are part and parcel of any marriage.
In fact, unless you argue with your spouse, he\she never knows your point of view.
But everything has its limits. When arguments crosses its limits, your married life becomes abusive.
When you argue for petty reasons, your incompatibility in marriage makes your relationship totter towards failure.
You find many reasons to argue with your spouse.
- You argue about your children.
- You argue about the habits of your spouse.
- You argue about money dealings.
- You argue about your in-laws.
- You argue about who is more responsible.
Can you see how you argue about everything?
You are not prepared to give in and your spouse is also not prepared to give in.
When there are too many arguments between you, there is too much incompatibility in marriage.
Your married life is a hallmark example of a complete hostile relationship.
3. There is no loving communication
Incompatibility in marriage simply means you do not communicate with your spouse.
In modern marriages interaction with your spouse is always argumentative and unfriendly.
Strange, isn’t it?
Before marriage both had so much to talk about. But after marriage both talk too little. You often search for topics to interact with your spouse.
Yet another sign of complete lack of compatibility between you and your spouse.
When you have to think twice before talking with your spouse you feel bored to talk to him\her.
When you are compelled to suppress your emotions with your spouse, it makes your married life stiflingly suffocating.
Unless there is comfortable communication between both, you cannot really enjoy good married life.
5. You are no longer supportive
You become so indifferent towards your spouse that you no longer support him\her when he\she drastically needs it.
When you do not give emotional support to your spouse, it is yet another clear signal of your incompatibility in marriage.
Your married life drifts along aimlessly without any emotional support between you.
Why is emotional support important to your married life?
- Your instant emotional support gives instant energy to the sagging morale of your spouse.
- You empathize with the inner most feelings of your spouse. Naturally, your spouse feels protected and sheltered by you.
- When your emotionally support your spouse, he\she feels that he\she can withstand any problems that creep into your relationship.
But sadly, your married life lacks such an emotional support.
I think it is time for you to wake up from your indifference, and handle the destructive inroads such lack of emotional support brings into your married life.
Unless you support your spouse spontaneously your married life becomes lacklustre, tedious and mediocre.
5. You insult and abuse
When you are incompatible with your spouse, you abuse each other as if you were enemies. And you do not fight and argue in the privacy of your home.
You abuse each other in full view of others. You do it because you want your spouse to cringe in shame.
How incompatible your marriage can be?
Lack of love makes your relationship abusive and offensive.
Both enjoy washing dirty linen in public.
Both indulge in mutual mudslinging.
There is nothing left in your marriage except a destroyed and incompatible relationship.
When you truly love your spouse you will not insult him\her. You feel protective towards him\her.
Conclusion
“What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility.” – Leo Tolstoy
Never let your marriage slip into such a boring co-existence. Never let your differences of opinion make you drift apart.
Your spouse is your better half. Never ever forget it.
So, face the rough weather of problems in your married life in perfect harmony. This is the only way to do away with the unwanted incompatibility you face in your married life.
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Brad Keyshaw says
Thank you Mathi, I Really like the sentiments you express here, it would be nice if more modern woman understood and applied them. Sadly I think due to the changing of cultural norms faster than most can keep up or resist that more marriages will fail, and more men, despite their love of and care for woman will simply go their own way for their physical, psychological and legal safety.
Sometimes in this modern age is more important who one ignores and avoids due to the strain of one bad connection and the prevalence of narcissism being an ‘accepted and justified’ display of behavior.
I wish it didn’t have to be that way but sometimes it’s not just us, it’s the habits or will of the other person that does have considerable consequences for us to.
Gives one pause for thought