Top 5 signs your husband is dominating and controlling indicates how much of a man’s world married life still is. You might enjoy great financial independence your yester sisters did not enjoy. You might have become more assertive and confident- a thing not imaginable by women some few years ago.
But there is one thing that has not changed in some families. It is male dominance. Basically a man likes to dominate his wife as he is very egoistic. Though times have changed there some men who still live in the stone age- where a woman was thought to be fit only to bear children, cook and look after the family.
Not all men are dominating and controlling. Modern men now know that their wives will never bow to their dictating orders.
Freedom to be yourself is the crux of a good married life. Even though you love your husband you are an individual with your own way of looking at life and doing things in a different way from his. When your liberty is crushed by your dominating and controlling husband, it makes you feel jailed in your married life.
It is a hardcore truth that male dominance still exists in marriages. You too might be controlled and dominated by your husband without you realizing it.
What does independence in married life really mean?
- You should be yourself
- You should not feel apprehensive to share your feelings with your husband
- You must have a say in family matters
- Your husband should respect your individuality
- He should not force you to change according to his way
- He should allow you the freedom to have your own space
- You should have your own personal money
- He should not check your whereabouts
- He should trust your talent and capacity
- He should feel proud of your success.
But sadly this does not happen in most marriages. Your husband is dominating and controlling. He is egoistic and self-centered. He wants you under his control. He feels irritated when you take you own decisions and do things your own way.
Your husband might be loving and caring. But he can be controlling and dominating your life unknown to you.
What are the signs your husband controls you?
- You have to ask his permission before doing anything
- He keeps making negative comments about you
- He controls the way you should spend your money
- He makes you dress the way he likes.
- He abuses you before others
- He never discusses what he is going to do with the mutual money you earn
- He is sarcastic and censuring you all the time.
- You cannot go alone anywhere.
Rather nerve wracking to handle such a dominating and controlling husband, isn’t it?
‘No man is good enough to govern any woman without her consent.’- Susan B. Antony
Why do you give in to the domination of your husband?
You do not want to ruin your family life. You tolerate him for the sake of your children. You want your marriage to survive. You hope against hope that he would change for the better and understand your wish to have some independence.
Top 5 signs your husband is dominating and controlling
1.Arbitrary financial decisions
Does your husband discuss with you the financial decisions he has taken?
Does he listen to your suggestions?
Do you mutually decide about family issues?
Is your answer yes to these questions?
This is a top sign that he gives you equal rights in family matters. He values your opinion. He indeed gives you independence. Not that controlling and dominating, isn’t he?
When you earn lots of money you should have a definite say in the way your money is spent. He cannot make decisions for you. This creates lots of misunderstanding between you. If he is an expert in dealing with money he can guide you in a friendly manner how your hard earned money should be spent
Does he make you ask his permission before spending money on something you crave for?
Do you have to hide your purchase for the fear of his tongue lashing?
Does he control your hard earned money?
Do you feel deprived of personal money?
This is a clear sign that your husband is dominating and controlling.
2. Degrading comments
Does your husband make degrading comments about your appearance?
Does he command you to do certain things at a specified time?
Do you have to hurry about obeying his orders when he is at home?
Do you feel stifled and shackled by his commanding nature?
Your husband has the right to tease you, but he cannot degrade you.
Can he take it if you pass negative comments on his appearance?
Can you make decisions about what he should do with his life?
I am sure he will revolt. He should understand that you are an individual and so has every right to do certain things your way. He has no business to interfere into it.
3.Demanding instant obedience
Do you have to act according to his orders?
Does he command you to do things his way?
This is not the way to lead your married life. Though you might obey your husband in the initial glow of your love, you soon begin to feel the pressure of being a subordinate to him.
This is when you feel suppressed and oppressed in your relationship.
Why should you implicitly obey your husband? He is not your boss, is he?
He is your life partner. What you share with him should be friendship and companionship and not dictatorship.
4. Controlling all phases of your life
Can you not go anywhere without his permission?
He might cite that he cares for you and so wants to accompany you everywhere.
But you too want to do certain things your way!
- You might want to go out with your friends.
- You might want to go shopping with your parents.
- You might want to spend money to buy something for people close to your heart.
- You might want to help your parents.
When he intrudes into your personal zone you feel angry and resentful. The first thing he should understand is that marriage does not take away your right to be an individual in any way.
Does he feel that you should do all the household chores as it is a woman’s prerogative?
Does your husband feel that helping you in household chores in not manly?
Does he laze around while you struggle with household work and children?
This is a definite sign he is dominating and controlling.
Does he yell at you when the food is not ready on time?
Does he shout at you before others?
If he never realizes how shameful you feel at the insult he has inflicted on you it is a clear sign that your husband is very dominating and commanding.
5. He is sexually demanding
He wants sex when he is in the mood. He does not care whether you are ready for it. You might be tired and exhausted. He does not care. When he is in the romantic mood he must have the physical pleasure you give him. To him sex is a physical thing, nothing else. He does not know it takes two to make sex a relaxing and pleasurable experience.
He does not understand that he should show his love for you through his physical gestures. To him it is an animal need and he turns over to sleep after satisfying himself. No smile. No hug. Nothing. You feel used and invaded. Your tender emotions are shattered by his unthinking selfish attitude.
Married life becomes boring when your husband is dominating and controlling. Married life cannot be decided by your husband alone. Love, respect and care makes your relationship worthy and happy. Domination has no place in it. It is mutual consent and mutual love that does the trick of bringing you close to each other.