Do you know there are easy ways to make your husband mature and responsible?
Why are men basically immature and irresponsible?
It is because man lives for the day and never looks beyond that.
But you look far ahead into the future of your family – more like an astrologer.
You crave for a mature and responsible husband. You want him to shoulder the family burden with you. But it never seems to happen.
Do you argue with him because of his irresponsible behavior?
Do you degrade him that he is not a worthy husband?
A grave mistake!
He cannot evolve into a mature and responsible husband if you make him feel small and unworthy. When his ego is crushed by you, he makes your life even more tensed by withdrawing from family life totally.
What is the right way to make your husband mature and responsible?
Give him responsibilities.
‘How can I trust him in family issues when he does not have dedication?’ you are convinced that your husband will always be irresponsible in family problems.
Believe me! The more you mistrust him, the more hostile and immature he becomes.
The more you trust him, the more responsible and mature he becomes.
Make your husband mature and responsible – Top easy 5 ways to achieve it!
1. Interact with friendliness
How do you interact with your immature husband?
I am sure you spend most of the time preaching him that he is not a worthy family man. You nag him that he is irresponsible and foolish. This makes your husband crumble inside in shame as his ego is completely shattered.
Do you know nagging can make your husband develop inferiority complex?
Do you keep pinpointing his drawbacks?
Your husband feels even lesser.
You should have immense patience to make him responsible.
You should trust him with certain family duties. This makes him feel involved in family commitments. Make him feel worthy by appreciating his contribution – however small it might be. You should talk pleasantly so that he feels good to interact with you.
2. Do not demean your husband before your children
Do you tell your children that their father is a worthless man?
Do you know how much you hurt him when his children look degradingly at him?
When you poison the mind of your children against him your family life plunges into a quarrelsome co-existence with your husband. He feels like an island at his own home.
You should discuss him about your children’s education and their future. This makes him feel proud that you value him as a responsible father. You should ask your children to show affection and respect to him. His crushed ego is revived. He gradually understands his duties towards his family.
3. Do not make him a pauper by draining him of all his money
Does your husband spend too much?
Does he misuse his money?
Does he not contribute to the family financial commitments?
What do you do now?
You never trust him with money. You do not discuss about family financial commitments with him. You grab his money as soon as he receives his salary. You feel that he does not have the capacity to handle money on his own.
Don’t do it.
You should make him realize his financial commitments towards the family.
You should discuss family financial problems with him. Make him understand that the family cannot be maintained by your income alone. Allocate the financial commitments which should be his sole responsibility. Be firm that he should meet it out.
Do not deplete him of money completely as it makes him feel like a pauper. This makes him feel enraged and angry. The poor man too is entitled to his own personal money.
4. Talk highly about him
Your husband adores you when you appreciate him.
Is there any person in this world who does not crave for appreciation?
Your husband also loves to hear you complimenting him before others. Do not degrade your husband before your friends\relatives\colleagues. You should boost up his ego by talking good things about him. Your appreciation makes him want to prove himself as worthy of your appreciative words. You can be sure that he will slowly become responsible and mature.
5. Respect your husband
Your husband craves for your respect. He feels let down when you do not listen to his suggestions. He feels an outsider when you take arbitrary decisions without consulting your husband.
It is sad that you often ignore and neglect your husband as you feel he is insignificant and hopeless. You make fun of him. You make demeaning comments about him. You become the boss of the family. You nag him threadbare about his irresponsibility.
When your children see your disrespect, they too follow your cue.
He feels a non-entity in his own family. You make him feel ashamed of himself. You make him feel small.
Do you feel it is impossible to make your husband mature and responsible?
You need immense patience and understanding to make your husband overcome his inferiority complex. Yes! It is his inferiority complex which makes him immature and irresponsible. If you keep pricking his ego he will never become mature.
Boost his ego. Be patient. Understand that he is struggling with his failures and defeats. Be his ardent supporter. Make him involved in family matters. Mature and responsible husband was your long time dream, wasn’t it? When you achieve it the happiness you feel will be worth the wait!
RS says
Hi Mathi,
Wanted to know if you provide relationship counselling. If yes, please help me know the procedure and fee for the same.
Mathi says
Hi,
You can contact me about any relationship issues you might have. There is absolutely no fees. My email address is mathisurendran@gmail.com
R says
Hi,
I did mail you, awaiting your response please.
Regards,
RS
Mathi says
Hi Richa,
I have replied and I hope it helps you.
Feven says
I have married for 18years and I have two children. My husband doesn’t want to take responsibilities at all. He supported his family when it suits him. He all the harden on me. I tried to talk through it he listen for few months and as he is working from aboard now and long distance make it more harder. He is a demanding and if things doesn’t go on his way that it. I fell like I had enough. I love my children and I don’t want to hurt them but what’s the point. I don’t have any energy left to fight for this marriage.
Mathi says
Hi Feven,
You have been married for 18 years and still your marriage has not settled down. It is because of the lack of communication between you. And you are finding it all the more difficult because your husband is being too demanding. Being demanding and refusing to take up responsibilities are definite relationship killers.
And the long distance between you is making your relationship all the more tough.
Is it possible for your husband to work nearer to you?
Or can you go where he is working?
If you can do either of this it might bring positive changes into your relationship. Do not feel depressive and let go your marriage after so many years of being together. Marriage is one relationship that needs constant nurturing. Otherwise your relationship might die.
It is your life and it is you who have to take the initiative.
Olaitan says
This your write up is bullshit, we should talk high of someone that sees taking responsibility as a burden, pls be considerate and understand that we are all human and stop making the woman always feeling less.
Mathi says
Hi,
Your perception is right. But when you want to make your marriage work, there should be some compromises, though you might dislike it. Thank you for your comments.
Serena says
Dear Mathi,
if i saw this article 6 years ago, i probably would not feel anything in common with all these opinions.
but after a time in marriage, i realized that we are all victims from the perfect expected or imagined pictures in our mind about relationship or marriage or from the value the media told us everyday now.
I am not trying to say that, we should bear with any kind of problems in a relationship with no boundaries.
but i am trying to say that, we are all imperfect humans, we all make mistakes and the truth is that no perfect marriage due to no perfect human.
I sent to a email to you, and looking forward to seeing your Intelligent suggestions.
Thank you again for sharing this articles.
Mathi says
Thank you Serena for sharing your views.
I am sending you the link to my Youtube channel about relationships. The name of my channel is “Marriage Realities”
Do visit it and convey your thoughts.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNrT3KOkTU5ITQMyYnVsxGQ
Serena says
I will go visit the YouTube page. I just got a news yesterday, My husband finally decided back to fly back to us, but like the email i sent to you, we have so many problems between us. He said he just wants to fly back to take the kid, but by his changeable attitude and actions and sayings. I think this man doesn’t know what exactly he wants, but he just thinks he knows what he needs. And i want to protect our little family for our baby’s sake, who is just very a little. Theoretically we will meet each other at beginning of November ,Please reply to me by email about what you do in this circumstance to win this man back and protect our little family.
Your reply will be very appreciated, Thank you again Mathi!