When your husband is immature, he is abusive, violent and very irresponsible.
He makes your married life torturous, doesn’t he?
It is nightmarish to live with an immature husband. Marriage is a mutual commitment. Your husband should as committed to it as you are.
His immaturity makes him selfish as well.
Your immature husband is very abusive also.
He does not care how you manage the family.
You have to handle all the family issues all by yourself.
But how long can you shoulder all the family issues without the help of your immature husband?
You have many duties thrust on you.
- You have to handle the immaturity of your husband.
- You have to look after the family and the children.
- You have to go for work.
- You have to look after the financial needs of your family.
Quite a handful of work in your hands, isn’t it?
His immaturity makes you literally drained of energy. You feel depressed and miserable when you think of your married life with such an immature husband.
‘Married life is like a railway track’ my mother told me. We were discussing about my cousin whose husband was very immature and inconsiderate towards her. My cousin’s life was pathetic as she had to run her family without the support of her immature husband.
‘How can relationship be compared to a railway track?’ I asked her confusedly.
‘Have you seen the railway track? It runs parallel all through its destination. If one line is off the track the train derails’ she told me with a smile.
‘Can one railway line bear the total weight of the train? The weight of the train is balanced between the two lines. The same should happen in marriage relationship also. Couples too have equal commitments and responsibilities all through their married life’ she further added.
‘Though a woman is endowed with immense willpower to handle every problems that crop up in the family, she feels lonely and dejected when her husband is immature. Immaturity obviously means selfishness. Selfishness in relationship is yet another marriage wrecker’ she concluded.
She was right on target.
If your husband is mature and assertive you have a warm shoulder to lean on. You feel comfortable and secure – financially and emotionally.
Does your husband behave in a mature way?
You are indeed lucky!
How does your husband help you when he is mentally mature?
- He gives you moral support when you need it.
- He is committed to the family.
- He is dedicated to his profession as he knows it means a lot for the financial security of the family.
- He is loving and considerate.
But what if your husband is immature?
Your married life becomes a daily torture when you have to deal with his wavering mood swings. You feel emotionally drained and washed out.
What are the signs that clearly show your husband is immature?
- He is not committed to the family.
- He does not discuss family problems with you.
- He yells and confronts you for innocuous reasons.
- He easily cracks under pressure.
- He is unable to make any individual decisions.
- He never involves himself in family issues.
- He has a gloomy face.
- He is very selfish and very concentrated on himself.
- He does not have a steady job.
- He does not have ambitions in life.
Does your husband have any of the qualities mentioned above?
You are unlucky to have married a person who does not in any way support you. When the onus of running the family rests entirely on your already sagging shoulders you find it very stressful and nerve wracking.
- You lose your peace of mind.
- You lose your happiness.
- You lose your patience.
- You want to scream at your husband for his immaturity.
How does your husband further prove his immaturity?
- He is very demanding and very selfish.
- He never bothers about how you manage the family without his help.
- He does not want to be part of any difficulties you face in your family.
- When he wants money he wants it immediately and instantly.
- When you reason with him that you have other financial commitments he gets wild with anger.
- He throws things around and sometimes hurts himself to meet his selfish demands.
- You are unable to tackle his violent nature.
- Unnecessary temperamental tantrums are the top most sign that your husband is immature.
Your immature husband is disinterested in his work. Often he does not have a permanent job. His wavering and unsettled mind does not allow him to have a stable job. His lifestyle is like that of hippies- without a care in the world. His attitude towards his profession is nomadic. Shifting from one company to another.
He is not interested in success or fame. He is always in need of money as he does not have a steady job. So your immature husband tortures you for money. You are his treasure box to financially help him every time he needs it.
He cries at the drop of the hat. When there are family issues he feels terrified to face them. When you confront him he cries like a child and clings to you for support. He is never decisive. He is never considerate.
You are often in a dilemma as to how to deal with his immaturity, aren’t you?
Should you let him have his way? Or should you confront him?
Both are wrong. If you let him off the hook he will never realize his responsibilities. If you confront him he takes it as an excuse to abuse you.
- Never play the role of a mother and shelter him from family issues. He will never evolve into a mature person if you are motherly and sheltering.
- He finds it comfortable to hide behind your shoulders when you do so.
- Talk to him kindly and involve him in family issues.
- Appreciate his small contribution to the family.
- He will never change his attitude if you are too kind and protective towards him.
There is a line of hope that he might change for the better if he reacts positively to your firmness and friendliness.
Can your immature husband become mentally strong and mature?
You need incredible patience. You need immense understanding. You need huge willpower to pull him out of his immaturity. With the help of your relentless love he might slowly come out of his shell of irresponsibility. Even a small positive change is your victory.