Do you want to know the topmost signs you are in an emotionally abusive relationship?
Most of you feel that physical assault and verbal abuse are the only signs of an abusive marriage.
There is more to abuse than just the physical brutality! Verbal abuse is also just a part of many unknown abusiveness you face in your day to day interaction with your spouse.
- Does your spouse yell at you for no valid reason?
- Are you terrified to talk about your views to him\her?
- Does he\she throw things around in a show of temperamental tantrum?
- Does he\she always control your money?
- Do you have to ask permission even for your basic needs?
These sort of behaviors are also signs of abusive relationship. Your individuality is crushed by your spouse in his\her selfish quest to dominate you in all aspects of your life.
This is not all!
Married life becomes beautiful and meaningful only when there is mutual respect and care between you. This cannot be achieved when you are always in the receiving end of the abusiveness of your spouse.
How can you find happiness in your marriage if your spouse is uncaring?
How can you be satisfied with your married life if your spouse passes snide remarks about you?
How can your married life be worthy when your spouse does not support you when you are stressed and tensed?
There are many factors which make your married life abusive and insulting.
Topmost signs you are in an emotionally abusive relationship
Do you have to censor your words and talk hesitantly with your spouse in fear of a verbal backlash from him\her?
- Your freedom and liberty to voice your thoughts is being abused.
Are you leeched out of your hard earned money and denied personal money for your individual wishes?
- You are being abused financially.
Are you unable to help your parents as your spouse refuses to acknowledge your duty towards them?
- It is an absolute abuse of denying you the freedom to fulfill your duties.
Does his\her unreasonable and bad tempered mood swings make your life torturous?
- This is also pure abuse of your emotional well-being.
Is your spouse too possessive and does not allow you to interact with others?
- Your independence of being yourself is being abused.
Does he\she shift the blame on you to make him\her look innocent and guiltless in family issues?
Does he\she not support you when you need him\her the most?
- Uncaring and indifferent abuse!
Does your spouse dip into the joint bank account and swindle you off your money?
- Abusive monetary cheating!
What makes your spouse abusive?
- He\she does not have the confidence to face life.
- His\her childhood might have been abusive and so he\she grows without knowing the value of decency.
- His\her persistent failures make him\her feel less about him\her.
- Having low opinion of himself\herself
- He\she has lost all his\her love for you and wants to move away from the relationship.
Can you see how various factors contribute to the abusiveness you face in your marriage?
When your spouse is not confident he\she displays all sorts of complex behavior. If you are more successful than him\her it makes him\her feel completely inferior to you. To hide his\her lesser feelings he\she tortures you in being completely annoying and irritating.
The other day I was shopping in a mall. I saw a beautiful girl, well dressed and looking absolutely ravishing. I paused to admire her and I was not the only one looking. She had many eyes on her. But her husband was a total disappointment. He was very short and stout. What a mismatch!
I could see that he was highly strung up to see his wife being the cynosure of many eyes. He rudely yelled at her to follow him. The poor girl literally cringed inside in shame at the uncalled abusive behavior of her husband. Her husband’s inferiority complex was the reason behind his indecent and rude behavior.
A case of domestic abuse in the full view of the public!
Top most reasons for the abusive behavior of your husband
Are you a successful woman?
Does your husband face persistent failures?
He feels his ego shattered and battered by your success. Your elevation in your work makes him feel lower than you. You might behave normally with him, but his bruised ego makes him construe unwanted meaning in your innocuous interaction. He reacts violently towards you and makes your life suppressed and oppressed.
Yours is indeed an abusive relationship!
Are you very beautiful?
Is your husband very mediocre in his looks?
Do you face comments that he is no match to your looks?
This instigates a feeling within him that he is lesser than you. When your male colleagues\friends\relatives interact with you in friendliness he becomes suspicious. He abuses you verbally to make you feel terribly hurt.
Alcoholism can make your husband harm you by physically attacking you. When you do not give him money for his drinks he behaves inhumanly towards you.
When he finds another woman, he loses interest in you and withdraws into a shell of indifference and apathy. He does not interact with you and behaves like a stranger towards you. He avoids physical contact with you. His unreasonable silence is also a worst form of abuse.
Topmost reasons for the abusive behavior of your wife!
Your wife can be abusive too!
When she tries to control and dominate you and turns you into a hen pecked husband you literally shiver in her presence. You become tongue tied to her lashing tongue.
A case of verbal abuse!
Does she cling to you and demand all your time?
Does she verify your whereabouts?
Does she call you in your work place and ask doubting questions?
She is abusing you by clinging to you in a show of over possessiveness.
Does your wife become wildly angry if you help your parents\relatives?
Does she utter words that degrade your family?
You feel your hackles rise at the insults she rains on your family, don’t you?
She is being abusive!
Does she deny you sex in order to bring you into submission to meet her wishes?
This is the common abuse most men face.
Your abusive wife makes sexual intimacy a bargaining ground to meet her demands.
Do you know that persistent abuse kills your marriage?
Your marriage might survive through the years. But when you live through an abusive relationship you do not really enjoy your married life. Mostly abusive behavior stems from selfish attitude. When you look at everything from your angle whatever your spouse does makes you wild with anger.
When you are too focused on your comfort level you do not adjust with your spouse. You want everything done your way. You want your wishes to be the command your spouse should obey. You can never take no for an answer.
It is indeed sad that marriage has become a war zone for most couples with each trying to outwit the other.
Never be like this.
You should respect the views of your spouse!
You should accept him\her for what he\she is!
You should tolerate the minor faults of him\her!
You are actually demeaning yourself when you insult and abuse your spouse. He\she is your better half and everything about your life is mutual. You should complement each other like your reflection in a mirror. When you love and smile, your relationship smiles back at you. When you snarl and yell your married life can only reflect abuse and insult.