Do you know you need transparency in marriage to make your relationship tension free and comfortable?
Tranparency in marriage is that important for your marriage to survive.
Is your relationship with your spouse very open and transparent?
Excellent.
Then might be this post is not for you. But not all couples are transparent with each other.
There are many couples whose relationship with each other is very secretive and guarded.
Are you one among the couples who never confide with each other?
Your attitude spells real bad for your relationship, you know.
It is because the level of satisfaction you enjoy in your married life depends upon the level of transparency you have with your spouse.
Are you wondering why there is so much talk about transparency between couples?
Let us suppose you are driving a car.
You like driving when you see the road in front of you clearly.
But suppose it is misty and foggy around you?
Do you enjoy driving now?
You hate driving is such a smoggy weather as you are not sure what is front of you. You feel apprehensive about your drive as everything around you is murky and shadowy.
Being secretive and mysterious with your spouse makes your relationship have the same effect of driving in a misty and foggy weather.
Your relationship becomes all confusing and all bewildering.
Being transparent with your spouse is like driving your car in a clear road.
It makes your marriage journey enjoyable.
Can you see how transparency in marriage is very needed for a happy relationship?
What does transparency do to your relationship?
Transparency in marriage signifies the frankness, honesty and loyalty you embed in your interaction with your spouse.
It makes your married life a lot easier to live.
There is lot less tension and frustration between you as both are sure about the activities and whereabouts of the other.
Believe me!
Transparency between you and your spouse helps you enjoy immense peace at home.
But, what if you are secretive and closed in your interaction with your spouse?
All hell is let loose in your married life.
Signs of lack of transparency in marriage.
- You have an air of secrecy in your behavior towards your spouse.
- You talk in a hushed tone whenever you speak in the mobile.
- You are persistently late from work without giving valid reasons to your spouse.
- Your spouse is in the dark about your financial dealings.
- He\she does not know about your whereabouts.
What happens now?
Your relationship suffers its worst ever debacle.
Your spouse has all sort of doubts about you as you do everything behind his\her back.
Your relationship with your spouse should as clear and reflective as a mirror.
Transparency in your marriage does away with unnecessary doubts and suspicion in your relationship.
6 ways to be transparent in marriage
1. Be explaining
Explanation is a fantastic way to enjoy transparency in your married life.
When you explain to your spouse any misgivings he\she might have about your activities it makes your interaction comfortable and relaxed.
Are you late from work?
You must have some valid reasons for it.
Do not keep it within yourself and leave your spouse furious and worrying about the reason behind your late coming.
When you give your spouse prior information that you will be late, he\she feels relieved and relaxed.
Explaining to your spouse about what you do or what you intend to do brings in pronounced trust and faith into your relationship.
Informing your spouse about your decisions\activities is an easy trick which delivers great results in your marriage.
Explaining to your spouse the reasons behind your angry outbursts does away with needless resentment and anger he\she harbors against you.
2. Do not be secretive
Let us suppose your mobile rings when you are with your spouse.
Do you talk in a normal tone?
This is the way to be transparent with your spouse.
Do you explain to your spouse whom you were speaking to?
Yet another healthy sign of transparency in marriage.
But when you move away from your spouse to talk in a hush-hush voice for a very long time, it signals lack of transparency between you.
It makes your married life very tense and suspicious. When you do not explain whom you were talking to, it makes your spouse doubtful and wary.
Your spouse should know what you are doing and you should know what he\she is doing.
It makes your relationship so much more comfortable and easy to live.
3. Be frank about your money dealings
Lack of transparency in your money dealings might lead your marriage towards failure.
When you do not explain to your spouse about your loans, commitments and repayments it causes tremendous bitterness and resentment in your relationship.
Do you have the duty of looking after your parents?
Inform your spouse. It is your hard earned money and you have every right to help your parents.
But do not hide it from your spouse. Do it openly and tell your spouse about your financial duty towards your parents. Your spouse can never refuse when you do it openly.
4. Say no to behind-the-back relationships
Do not have stealthy friendship with your friends\colleagues of the opposite sex without your spouse knowing about it.
You should always maintain a dignified distance from the opposite sex.
Spending out- of- work- time with your colleagues\friends of the opposite sex without the knowledge of your spouse is a big no.
Such secretive relationships do irrevocable damage to your marriage.
5. Be informing
Most of you never inform your spouse about your decisions. When you do not inform your spouse about what you intend to do with your life, it shrouds your relationship with unwanted secrecy.
Your spouse should be the first person with whom you should share the important decisions you have made. It might be about your job, or it might be about your financial investments.
Inform your spouse about such important decisions.
This transparency brings unbelievable emotional intimacy between you.
It is always better to have frank discussion with your spouse than make your own decisions without informing him\her.
6. Share your feelings
When you are secretive about your feelings, your spouse never really knows what is going on in your mind.
You should share your emotions with your spouse so frankly, that he\she knows how you feel about certain things he\she does.
Let your guard down with your spouse and share just about everything with him\her.
It brings incredible emotional intimacy between you.
Conclusion
A lack of transparency results in distrust and a deep sense of insecurity.’ –Dalai Lama
Does being tranparent with your spouse mean that you do not have the privacy or freedom to do your own personal things?
Of course you have right towards your privacy.
But privacy is entirely different from secrecy.
Secrecy is lack of transparency. It makes your relationship mysterious and full of of suspense and intrigue.
Mystery might be good for movies. Not for married life.
Privacy is personal space for yourself and your spouse.
Both are two different persons with diverse wishes and desires.
The need to fulfill your own personal wishes should be respected by your spouse. You should respect the same of him\her.
But lack of tranparency in your married life means that you are not emotionally close to your spouse.
It makes your interaction with your spouse resentful and moody.
But when there is transparency in your marriage there is absolute frankness and honesty in your interaction.
This avoids many problems that might otherwise arise when you are sneaky and sly with your spouse.
So, have enough freedom in your relationship.
Explain, discuss and inform your spouse about yourself.
Let your married life have the transparency of clear water. Makes your marriage very refreshing and very energizing.
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It is a comprehensive relationship channel which deals with many of the issues married couples face.
Subscribe to my channel to understand your marriage in a new light.
Here is the link to “Marriage Realities.”
darren says
How about when your wife constantly hides her phone and puts a passcode on it.
Makes me feel like she is haiding something.
Am i wrong?
Mathi says
darren,
Trust in your wife is an absolute must for you to have happiness in your married life. Why do you want to snoop at her mobile? Are there signs which make you feel she is cheating you? If you really feel stressed about it you should talk frankly with your wife. Not by yelling or shouting, but being reasonable and friendly. It is a delicate situation. So handle it with understanding. I hope she will also understand your point of view.
Owen says
If she has multiple social networking apps such as snap chat, whatsapp and kik. Plus the regular Facebook but has the lock on phone and if she gets messages while I’m right beside her she won’t open them up. Says she doesn’t care about them haha but when I leave the room she checks em.