Generation gap with your children makes you feel very unhappy, doesn’t it?
What exactly is generation gap?
- You never see eye to eye with your children.
- You want things done your way.
- You are very conservative to their modern outlook.
- You are very preachy and advising.
- You intrude too much into their privacy.
Your children hate you for this dominating parental attitude. These are the main causes which make them deviate from you.
‘It’s nice to have some distance with your family. As long as you’re closer to them by love’. –Oliver Martinez
‘Why don’t you wear the yellow color salwar suit I got for you’ I told my daughter when she was preparing to go out with her friends.
‘Some other day, amma. I like this blue salwar suit better’ she told me.
I should have let her have own choice, but somehow I could not keep my mouth shut.
‘Listen to me kanna, you will look more pretty in yellow’ I insisted.
‘Well amma, it is I who is going to wear the dress, not you. Why can’t I decide?’ she told me in exasperation.
Naturally I shut my mouth which I should have done a little earlier.
Do you feel you know better than them because of your experience?
Do you keep on advising your children?
Grave parental mistakes.
Do you want to know the net result of your bad parenting?
- Your children feel suffocated and jailed.
- They become secretive.
- They tell lies to escape you anger.
- They feel you are a pain in their neck.
To avoid generation gap get down from your high pedestal as a dominating parent.
Do you want to avoid generation gap with your children? Do this
Let your children live their lives as they want to.
Give them some fresh air of independence.
Acknowledge that your son\daughter have grown up.
Give them rights to decide their own lives.
Never expect them to tow your line of thoughts.
Let them make mistakes. They will learn valuable lessons through it and evolve into a confident person.
Never play a detective and check their whereabouts.
Never have a lengthy doubting questionnaire and make them draw away from you.
There are times your children take your interference meekly. But inside they fume in frustrated anger. When they become helpless victim to your unreasonable intrusion they grow up as a submissive and subservient person. They will suffer throughout their life as you did not inculcate confidence and courage in them.
Generation gap make your children gradually shut you out of their life. They do not like staying at home. They spend most of their time avoiding you. Without proper guidance from you they fall into bad and life destroying habits.
Drugs, alcohol and bad habits destroy their character. You become a helpless spectator. All because you never understood their young world.
When you maintain a healthy distance from your children they respect you for the freedom you give them.
If you want your thoughts to be the thoughts of your children, they will never be assertive individuals. They will be a meek Xerox copy of you.
You would never want that, do you?
Do you feel that your children will live their life a wrong way and plunge into problems?
Let them evolve on their own. They will learn many precious lessons from their mistakes. They will know the trick to withstand the storms they will meet in their life.
As a dutiful parent you should mold their character when they are young. Teach them the morality of what is right and wrong in life. Then step away from them. The respectful distance you maintain will close the generation gap between you. Now you can enjoy a healthy relationship with your children.