Most of you want to avoid divorce at any cost.
You definitely want to make your marriage work. But incompatibility with your spouse makes you hurry towards annulling your marriage.
Sad, isn’t it?
This is the most common scenario of modern marriages.
‘Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course. – Helen Rowland
Why do you opt for divorce?
What happened to the love you had for each other?
Does longevity of marriage no longer exist?
Why is there only rare cases of successful marriages?
Why is divorce so prevalent today?
Answer to all these questions is very simple.
You feel divorce is the easiest way out of a relationship you dislike.
Why do you dislike living with your spouse?
You are at loggerheads with your spouse for very petty reasons. The words adjustment, tolerance, and compatibility becomes obsolete in your relationship.
You take for granted that your marriage will work by itself. So, you never make any efforts to nurture your relationship. When you do not nurture your relationship, it easily withers to failure.
This is the reason you have no qualms about divorcing your spouse. It is sad that even older couples resort to divorce making their years of togetherness meaningless.
Do you think divorce can end all your problems?
It does not.
Divorce leaves your children emotionally shattered. Your financial position is in shambles. You feel depressed that your marriage should end in failure.
Can you avoid divorce? You can, if you make efforts to rebuild your relationship
1. Avoid divorce by accepting the individuality of your spouse
After marriage, you expect your spouse to change according to your liking.
This is when the first seed of dissent is sowed in your relationship. Unless you accept the individuality of your spouse, your marriage cannot survive.
Realize that your spouse is an individual with his\her own unique wishes and desires.
Marriage in no way changes it. Too much intrusion into the personal zone of your spouse makes him\her resentful. So, never do that.
- Allow your spouse enough space to do things his\her way.
- Do not keep commenting about the way your spouse does his\her work. He\she hates it. It definitely makes him\her turn resentful against you.
- Never utter words about his\her upbringing.
The individuality of your spouse revolts against it. Stop doing it.
2. Avoid divorce by stopping the habit of ridiculing your spouse
You make fun of your spouse, making him\her feel enraged.
You compare your spouse with others in a lesser light, makes his\her hackles rise in frustrated anger.
You nag your spouse about his\her way of doing things.
- Treat each other with respect.
- Appreciate the good points of your spouse. Appreciation brings in many positive changes in your marriage. But, you never know its importance.
- Be supportive to the emotional needs of your spouse.
- Do not degrade him\her before others.
3. Avoid divorce by keeping the communication between you loving
After a few years of marriage both stop communicating with each other. If at all you talk, it is about some important family problems.
This topic is always sensitive and confrontational. You invariably end up arguing bitterly. Uneasy silence prevails in your home.
You spend your time at home doing your own thing and your spouse is occupied doing his\her own thing.
How can you enjoy your married life if you live like strangers?
- Never stop communicating with your spouse. Talk about everything with him\her.
- When you have diversified thoughts from that of your spouse, don’t make it into a fight.
- If at all you have arguments, forget your anger immediately.
- Never retire to bed in anger.
- Always greet each other with a smile in the morning –transforms your today into a great day.
- Appreciate the good points of your spouse.
- Always fight fair.
4. Avoid divorce by giving time to understand each other.
During your dating days, you thought your spouse was flawless. Your spouse also thinks so. It is because both put your best foot forward and show just your good aspects to him\her.
Your love days are carefree and fun. But, your married life is responsible and accountable. Both reveal your true colors only after your marriage.
You make much ado about the minor faults of your spouse.
You find the habits of your spouse infuriating.
You find him\her very dull and boring – ‘How could I have thought my spouse was interesting, He\she is not as loving as I thought him\her to be’ you fume inwardly.
Needless thoughts.
How can you completely understand your spouse after just a few years of marriage?
- Give time for your marriage to settle down.
- Never take a magnifying glass to find mistakes about your spouse.
- Never try to change your spouse.
- Accept your spouse for what he\she is.
- Don’t cling on to your spouse.
- Be tolerant and adjustable.
5. Avoid divorce by never allowing third-party intrusion
Do you know your parents are sometimes the reason behind your divorce?
They make you prejudiced against your spouse.
They give you wrong advice and you listen to them.
They interfere into your fights and blow it out of proportion.
In fact, they encourage you to divorce. ‘He\she does not deserve you. You will find a better person’ they spit words of venom against your spouse.
- Never let your parents decide your married life. They have no business to do it.
- They always see everything from your angle. So their views are very biased.
- Do not go to your parents with your relationship problems.
- Sort it out personally with your spouse. This is the easiest way to find solutions to your family problems.
CONCLUSION
Divorce might seem an easy option, initially. But, its aftermath is mostly tragic and heart breaking. Save your marriage from ending in a divorce court. Make your marriage stable and secure by understanding that you must nurture your relationship to make it work.
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