Most of you seem to have nothing to communicate with your spouse after a few years of your marriage, isn’t it?
What a contrasting scenario from your love days!
When you were in love, you had so much to talk with one another.
You could not have enough of your togetherness. You communicated your love to your spouse, emphatically and decisively. But after marriage, there is a drastic change in the tone of your communication.
You become very mundane, dull, and listless when you interact with your spouse.
Why do you feel disinterested to communicate with your spouse?
- Family responsibilities make you feel stressed and tensed.
- You do the same things daily. You go to work, return home tired. The scenario repeats, day in and day out. Your weekend is spent in catching up with your lost sleep. You feel so stale and bored that there is nothing exciting in your communication with your spouse.
- You get so used to your spouse, that you feel as though you have nothing to communicate with him\her.
- You are tired with your hectic work schedule, and all you want to do is to have some rest.
Yes!
The top reason why you do not communicate with your spouse is that everything about your marriage becomes serious and sober.
After marriage, your life undergoes drastic changes. Tons of responsibilities are thrust on you. You are always tensed and edgy in your struggle to fulfill it.
- Your financial commitments looms in front of you, literally destroying your mental peace.
- You have your children’s education to think about.
- There are many monthly repayments.
- You have to maintain a good standard of living.
- You have the ever increasing daily expenses.
And your earnings never seems to be enough.
Your ever-increasing financial needs take a toll of your peace. And your life is not as rosy as it seemed before marriage.
Your responsibilities pull you down. You become jittery about the future of your family.
Instead of talking about your problems with your spouse, you deviate from her\him. Small and minor disagreements with your spouse, sets your teeth at edge and you feel your tension building up.
You do not want to share your thoughts with your spouse, as you feel it will start an argument between you.
“It is always better to keep my mouth shut. I do not want to get embroiled in unnecessary arguments which will make me irritated and angry.”
So, you gradually lessen your conversation with your spouse until your interaction with him\her becomes monotonous and routine.
It is indeed sad, that you look at your family responsibilities as a burden out to destroy your relationship.
When you handle family commitments together, it brings you emotionally close to your spouse. And when you communicate reasonably and understandingly with your spouse, it increases your intimacy.
So, never refrain from communicating with your spouse. If non-communication becomes a habit with you, your relationship will soon become boring and uninteresting. You will gradually become indifferent to the emotional needs of your spouse.
“I do communicate with my spouse. I consistently discuss family matters with him\her” you defend yourself.
There you are!
You no longer talk ‘with’ your spouse, but talk ‘at’ your spouse.
Never ever, talk at your spouse. He\she hates it.
What exactly does talking ‘at’ your spouse mean?
- You communicate with your spouse only when necessary.
- When you talk, it is invariably about some routine family matters.
- You forget to talk with one another with love.
- Your tone is abrupt and brusque.
- You invariably end your communication with a bitter fight.
- Your interaction is stilted and devoid of love and care.
How will you enjoy your married life when you are formal with your spouse?
You can be formal with your colleagues, but not with your spouse.
You do love your spouse, don’t you?
But why is it you are unable to interact with your spouse with friendliness and love?
How can your family life be lively and exciting when you communicate with your spouse with irritation and annoyance?
“How can I interact with fun when one family problem after another drives me nuts?” is your worrying rejoinder.
Your worrying will not make your family issues disappear. You have a partner in your spouse, who can give solace to your worries and comfort to your tension.
This is the reason you should talk with your spouse, instead of talking at him\her.
What is talking ‘with’ your spouse?
- You discuss about everything with your spouse.
- You listen to your spouse and also react with understanding.
- You share your feelings with him\her.
- You are not accusing.
- You are friendly and humorous.
- You do not lose interest in your spouse and so there is excitement and pleasure when you communicate with him\her.
Here are the ways to communicate with your spouse!
Humor enlivens your marriage
Humor is the soul of happiness in marriage.
Enliven your relationship by being humorous and witty.
Humor makes you come closer to one another.
Your spouse wants to communicate with you when you have a smile in your face. If you are frowning and scowling, your spouse will never want to interact with you. Unless you smile, your spouse will never want to talk with you.
You spouse is not your enemy.
So, why should you be glum and gloomy?
When you lose your smile while interacting with your spouse, your marriage becomes a torturous existence between both of you.
Witty repartee and banter can do wonders to your relationship. Never opt for harsh and bitter interaction with your spouse. It actually robs contentment and cheerfulness from your married life.
Share the humorous happenings in your work place and laugh. This will take the pinch off your work stress and you will feel less burdened.
Appreciate your spouse
Does your spouse look good?
Do not keep the thought within yourself. Appreciate openly and see the glow of love in your spouse. When you appreciate, you show your love in a demonstrative way. It delights your spouse.
When you laugh with your spouse, you are enjoying your married life in the true sense. When you talk about your problems with your spouse, it makes you feel less tensed.
Be together in everything
“We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.” -Tom Robbins
When there is someone to share your problems right at home, why do you feel tensed?
Share your thoughts and feelings with your spouse and experience the relief you feel.
There should be no blaming games and your conversation should never be mundane. If there is one person with whom you can be just ‘you’, it is with your spouse.
So, why not make the most of it and talk ‘with’ your spouse, with all the love and affection you have for him\her?
I have started a new Youtube channel “Marriage Realities.”
It is a comprehensive relationship channel which deals with many of the issues couples face.
Subscribe to my channel to understand your marriage in a new light.
Here is the link to “Marriage Realities”
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