Why is your marriage not perfect? The hard fact is that there is no Utopian marriage anywhere in the world.
In the initial glow of love you dream that your married life would always be perfect and heavenly.
Almost all couples have such idealistic dreams when they marry!
‘I think that there is always a part of utopia in any romantic relationship.’- Pedro Almodovar
Do you also have such a romantic dream about your married life?
You will be disappointed.
Your married life is a different genre from your love days!
Your spouse is not the super human being you imagined him\her to be. He\she is very real, very emotional and very human.
He\she is also prone to mistakes. Your married life is not problem free as you imagined. You fight and argue with your spouse- a thing you never dreamed will happen in your relationship.
Why is your marriage not perfect? No Utopian marriage!
All married couples throughout the world face relationship problems. They too feel their marriage is not perfect.
Are you a perfect spouse?
Are you everything your spouse hoped to be?
You are not!
You have your share of imperfections don’t you?
Then how can you expect your spouse to be your dream husband\wife?
Adjusting and tolerating the imperfections of your spouse decides the happiness quotient of your marriage. Overlooking his\her imperfections is the only way to a happy married life.
There are no perfect couples!
There are only couples who make perfect adjustments!
Your dream – a near perfect spouse.
Reality- he\she has his\her own share of imperfections.
Does this mean your marriage is doomed to be a failure?
No! Not at all!
When your concentration is focused on the positive side of your spouse, you forget his\her negative aspects.
This is the only way to enjoy your married life.
- Never accuse your spouse- forgive him\her.
- Do not demean your spouse- complement each other perfectly.
- Do not have unrealistic and impractical expectations about your spouse- it does not work at all.
- Do not harbor great disappointment against your spouse- often it is unwanted and unnecessary.
Do not compare your love days with your marriage. Your love days are Utopian days. Your married life is very different- very raw and practical.
Your Utopian love days!
- Both spend lavishly for each other.
- You argued, but made up immediately.
- You always wanted to be together.
- You talked about everything under the sky.
- You were very demonstrative in displaying your love.
- You were attracted to your spouse.
- You felt everything about him\her very exciting.
Your initial glow of married days!
- The initial days of your married life confirms that you are right in feeling idealistic about your spouse.
- The physical proximity of your spouse makes you heady with excitement.
- You always whisper lovey- dovey words.
- Your world consists of only you and your spouse.
- You are overwhelmed with love that you are the luckiest person in the world to have married such a lovely person.
Your practical married days!
There is also an about turn in your attitude towards your spouse after your marriage.
- You lose the excitement for each other.
- You find the habits of your spouse infuriating and irritating.
- You are astonished when your spouse thinks twice before spending for you.
- You argue for petty reasons.
- You sulk for days in anger and feel egoistic to apologize to your spouse.
- Your conversation are almost routine and mundane.
Why do you change so much after your marriage?
It is because of your impractical expectations.
You have dreamy vision of your marriage where nothing can go wrong!
How nice it would be if this happens throughout your relationship. But your dreams are crashed and thrashed. Comparing your love days with your married days is a big no.
Marriage is more of responsibilities and commitments, isn’t it?
There are lots of thorns and hurdles on the way.
You are now loaded with responsibilities and commitments. You are always at logger heads with your spouse. Minor issues in your family life become big tormenting issues between you.
After your honeymoon days your married life reverts to the mundane and the routine. .
Now you see your married life in a new light! A rather negative light!
Love alone does not seem to constitute your relationship as you dreamed. You now realize that married life is not after all as rosy and heavenly as you thought it to be.
Do you feel saddened that your idealistic expectations of your spouse nose dives to utter disappointment?
When in love you are totally bewitched by your spouse. Both put your best foot forward.
But after marriage you throw away the cloak of assumed goodness you displayed before marriage. Your true self is exposed. So contrasting and different from what you displayed when you loved him\her. You no longer want to adjust with your spouse. You want to fight it out!
Does this mean you can never enjoy true happiness in your married life?
Are all hopes lost in your marriage?
The gravest mistake you make is to think your marriage will work by itself. It won’t!
Married life is a 24\7 work!
It is not a Utopian world! It is an emotional world!
You have to deal with varying emotions which makes your married life tough and hard. Unless you understand the emotional needs of your spouse, your married life will wobble on uncertainty.
You should be practical to accept your spouse as he\she is. Be loving enough to overlook his\her faults. Be caring enough to support him\her in all ups and downs of your married life.
You have rights dream about a perfect and Utopian marriage! Living happily ever after exists only in fairy tales, not in reality!