Do you know that words matter a lot in marriage?
The words you utter to your spouse, literally defines the quality of your relationship.
Sadly, you often utter words without knowing the devastating destruction it creates in your relationship. The hurt you inflict on your spouse by your unthinking words makes him\her bitter against you.
“My husband always makes derisive fun of my rather plumb appearance. It makes me feel unattractive, ” Harshini, a girl I knew told me with regret.
“Whenever I wear a new dress, he invariably says that it does not suit me because I was fat” Harshini looked angry against her husband.
“I would have tolerated the insulting comments of my husband, if he had it when we were alone. But my husband is a type who derives sadistic pleasure in making nasty comments about me before his friends\relatives. The hurting words my husband uses against me makes my blood boil with helpless anger” the girl went on with suppressed fury.
Like Harshini’s husband, most of you never know that words matter a lot in marriage. In fact, you often put your foot in your mouth by hurting your spouse with harsh words.
It is strange that you do not have good things to say about your spouse. You have only negative things to say about him\her.
You utter unwanted words, ridiculing the way your spouse does his\her work. You make ugly comments about the appearance of your spouse.
Do you know your unwarranted words act as a death knell to your relationship?
Yes!
The words you speak with your spouse makes your relationship either happy or unhappy.
This is the reason words are the most powerful weapon of your relationship. It can make or break your marriage.
Do you know why words matter a lot in marriage?
- You are happy when your spouse speaks endearing words to you.
- You are irritated when your spouse speaks in monosyllables when you are talking excitedly to him\her.
- You are wild with anger when your spouse uses demeaning words against you.
- You completely drift away from your spouse, when he\she speaks indifferent words.
- You are wild at your spouse, when he\she uses abusive words.
So, words decide the happiness and the unhappiness quotient of your marriage.
Sadly, most of you never know the power of words and use it unthinkingly.
Have you ever observed your interaction with your spouse in a day?
- Observe how many loving words you have spoken to your spouse.
Inevitably, you never utter loving and caring words. You are missing a magic tool. Your caring words will make your spouse feel emotionally secure.
- Observe how you react to the interaction of your spouse.
I am sure your reaction to the interaction of your spouse is mostly in uninterested monosyllables.
- Observe how many times you have reacted with unthinking harshness towards your spouse.
Definitely, many a time.
- And also observe how long you stay at home without uttering a word to your spouse.
You will be amazed at the lengthy silence you maintain at home, making your spouse feel utterly unloved and lonely.
Here is why words matter a lot in marriage.
Let us see through a simple example.
How will you feel when your higher officials make degrading comments about your work?
You feel tensed and stressed in your workplace.
How will your day be when your boss consistently blasts you about your working style?
You hate working there, don’t you?
Let us reverse the scenario in your workplace, now.
How will you feel if your higher officials\boss are appreciative?
You feel pleased and want to give your best to your job.
Can you see how words matter a lot in your work place also?
The words you hear from your colleagues\higher officials\boss decides your comfort level at your workplace.
How can it be any different in your relationship with your spouse?
Words of care and love makes your marriage strong and stable.
But why is it your interaction with your spouse is always staid and boring?
You used many words of endearments when you were in love, didn’t you?
Why do you desist from using loving words after your marriage?
Do you know that your spouse never outgrows your loving words, be it before marriage or after marriage?
But strangely, you become pragmatic towards your spouse after your marriage. So, you do not think twice before uttering abusive and destructive words against your spouse.
Do you know words of abuse foretell the failure of your marriage?
Can you abuse someone whom you love deeply?
You cannot. And you will not.
Only when the love for your spouse takes a back seat, do you feel it easy to find faults with him\her. And you also utter demeaning words which deeply hurt your spouse and finally your relationship.
Why did you feel it easy to say loving words before your marriage?
Before marriage, you have no responsibilities towards your spouse. You lead a carefree life of being together, laughing together and enjoying together.
You put your best forward and your spouse does the same. Both want to get into the good books of each other.
Words of love come easily to you during your dating days.
When your spouse looks worried, you utter consoling words and coax him\her come back to normal.
There is a complete volte face in your behavior after your marriage.
When you have loads of responsibilities thrust on you after marriage, you become tensed and stressed.
And after marriage, you do not care when your spouse looks worried or distressed.
You take a slanting look at the worried face of your spouse and casually overlook it.
You do not bother to utter comforting words to make your spouse feel comforted.
Naturally, your spouse feels emotionally shattered and mentally upset wondering about the brevity of your love.
Here is why words matter a lot in marriage.
Speak appreciative words.
Words of appreciation makes your spouse happy and content that you value him\her.
Appreciate the good looks of your spouse. This is one compliment he\she looks forward to.
Appreciate the good things your spouse does for the family.
Utter consoling words.
When your spouse looks stressed or tensed, console him\her.
Your comforting words mean a lot to your spouse.
Utter encouraging words.
Encourage the capacity of your spouse.
Make your spouse feel that he\she is efficient and capable.
Utter supportive words.
Never isolate your spouse by saying accusing words. It makes him\her turn hostile against you.
Never ever, utter degrading words about your spouse.
Never abuse your spouse with the sole intention of degrading him\her.
Conclusion
“I have always considered marriage as the most interesting event of one’s life, the foundation of happiness or misery.” – George Washington
The emotional aspects in marriage should never be ignored. If unnoticed and overlooked, it can destroy your relationship.
This is the reason you should understand the impact your words creates in your marriage.
Yes!
Words are your most powerful weapon which helps to build your relationship into an impregnable fortress.
Why not use it the proper way and make your marriage flourish?
I have started a new Youtube channel “Marriage Realities.”
Here is the link to my channel!
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