{"id":4099,"date":"2016-02-16T10:31:00","date_gmt":"2016-02-16T05:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.breezystorm.com\/?p=4099"},"modified":"2021-03-19T03:48:17","modified_gmt":"2021-03-19T08:48:17","slug":"friendship-between-son-in-law-and-mother-in-law","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.breezystorm.com\/friendship-between-son-in-law-and-mother-in-law\/","title":{"rendered":"Friendship between son-in-law and mother-in-law – Practical tips"},"content":{"rendered":"

Is good friendship between son- in-law and mother-in-law impossible?<\/p>\n

$\"It$ <\/p>\n

Not at all.<\/p>\n

This relationship does not have the scalding heat of a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship.<\/p>\n

It is because a son-in-law and a mother-in-law is not always at war with each other.<\/p>\n

<\/iframe><\/span><\/p>\nBut son-in-law and mother-in-law relationship does have its own share of doubts and suspicion.<\/p>\nSon-in-law often feels that his mother-in-law instigates his wife against his family. He is annoyed at the power his mother-in-law has over his wife.<\/p>\nSon-in-law is rather alarmed when his wife still trusts her mother more than him. And son-in-law is also furious by the interfering attitude of his mother-in-law.<\/p>\nHe feels that his mother-in-law should realize that she can no longer intrude into his family life.<\/p>\nMother-in-law also has many doubts about her son-in-law.<\/strong><\/p>\nShe feels that her son-in-law sets too many boundaries between her and her daughter after marriage.<\/p>\nShe is sad when he thrusts his family on her daughter just because he married her. She also feels her son-in-law does not have the right to come between the loving relationship she shares with her daughter.<\/p>\nSo, this mother-in-law and son-in-law relationship is more like walking on egg shells.<\/p>\nVery delicate and easily breakable.<\/p>\nI have an excellent relationship with my son-in-law and he treats me more like a mother- Hopefully!<\/p>\nDo you think my friendliness with my son-in-law happened on its own?<\/p>\nNo.<\/p>\nMy whole world always revolved around my only daughter. We were more of friends.<\/p>\nBut after her marriage, things did change a wee bit. I was no longer able to make decisions for my daughter. She was also no longer wholly mine. It took me many painful days to realize that I should step back from her life.<\/p>\nMy daughter was married. She had her husband to look after her. Though she still loved me, I knew I was no longer her whole world. This factor did hurt me very much.<\/p>\nI had to accept certain harsh realities.<\/p>\nMy daughter and my son- in-law were a family. They had different vision about their future. They had the right to live their lives as they wished without my intrusion.<\/p>\nIt was after all their personal life, wasn’t it?<\/p>\nI finally decided that I should not thrust my views on my daughter any longer. It would make me an intruder in their relationship.<\/p>\nWhen I stepped back from the life of my daughter, I felt a huge weight off my shoulders. My daughter was loved and cared by my son-in-law.<\/p>\nA precious gift to me.<\/p>\nHe is friendly with me. I can joke with him. I need not be put on an act to show my respect. I can be my natural self with him.<\/p>\nI think I am blessed.<\/p>\nMy relationship with my daughter is more loving and meaningful than before. I now know she will never outgrow her emotional need for me.<\/p>\nBut if I had barged into their life, my son-in-law would have resented me. I now know that spacing is very important to maintain friendship between son-in-law and mother-in-law.<\/p>\nWhat makes many feel that there can be no true friendship between son-in-law and mother-in-law?<\/p>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/www.marriage.com\/advice\/separation\/treading-carefully-getting-back-together-after-separation\/\">It is because of the unthinking mistakes both make.<\/a><\/p>\nMistakes son-in-law feels his mother-in-law commits<\/strong><\/p>\nYou are bit apprehensive about your mother-in-law, aren\u2019t you?<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Though you do not outwardly show it, you inwardly fume that she is a force to reckon with in your wife\u2019s life.<\/li>\n<li>You feel your mother-in-law over stays your hospitality.<\/li>\n<li>You are doubtful that she advises your wife against your family<\/li>\n<li>You are annoyed when your wife listens to her more than to you.<\/li>\n<li>You are jealous that your wife adores her mother a little too much for your comfort.<\/li>\n<li>You are irritated when your wife often talks lovingly about her mother.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\nWhen you have conflicts with your wife, you want to resolve your issues between yourself. But sadly, your wife goes to her mother with a complaint list about you.<\/p>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/www.breezystorm.com\/do-parents-interfere-in-your-married-life\/\">She after all her mother\u2019s darling, isn\u2019t she?<\/a><\/p>\nYour mother-in-law cannot tolerate to see tears in her darling daughter\u2019s life.<\/p>\nShe confronts you with the complaint list your wife has given to her. She goes on and on about how her daughter was brought up with overwhelming love. She accuses you of ill-treating her dear daughter by thrusting your family on her.<\/p>\nYou want to shout at her to stop, don\u2019t you?<\/p>\nWhen your wife asks you to buy her dress\\jewels, you do not immediately buy it for her.<\/p>\nYou feel there are many family financial commitments to be met. So, you want your wife to wait for a while before you satisfy her wishes.<\/p>\nBut your mother-in-law steps in immediately to fulfill her precious daughter\u2019s wish. She showers your wife with things she had asked you.<\/p>\nYou feel prickly about it, don\u2019t you?<\/p>\nYou are resentful that your mother-in-law has proven to your wife that she is more indulgent than you are. You want to lead your married life without her unnecessary interference.<\/p>\nNow the tug of war of supremacy begins. But strangely unlike mother- in- law and daughter in law relationship, this relationship is neither too hostile nor too friendly.<\/p>\nMother- in-law also has her own complaint list against her son-in-law<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>You feel your son-in-law does not care for your daughter as lovingly as you did.<\/li>\n<li>You are angry when he thrusts his family on your daughter.<\/li>\n<li>You are sad when he is unfriendly and remote to your gestures of respect and care.<\/li>\n<li>You feel uncomfortable when he is too formal and distant towards you.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\nAs you can see, the relationship between both is not very hostile and argumentative.<\/p>\n<h2>Maintaining friendship between son- in- law and mother-in-law needs just these tricks.<\/h2>\nTop things son- in- law should do to make the relationship friendlier<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Do not keep suspecting that your mother-in-law is advising your wife against your family.<\/li>\n<li>Be friendly when you talk with her.<\/li>\n<li>Never make derogatory comments about her to your wife- She will flare up.<\/li>\n<li>Do not make your mother-in-law feel like an outsider by being distant and unfriendly.<\/li>\n<li>Understand that mother and daughter relationship is unique and emotional.<\/li>\n<li>Never interfere into this emotional bond and infuriate your wife.<\/li>\n<li>Treat your mother-in-law with respect, as your wife is very dependent on her mother for emotional support.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\nTop things mother-in-law should do<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Do not intrude into the fights your daughter has with her husband.<\/li>\n<li>Do not make negative comments about his family to him.<\/li>\n<li>Be friendly with your son in law, as he is more of a son.<\/li>\n<li>Do not give him suggestions unless he asks for it.<\/li>\n<li>Let your daughter live her life.<\/li>\n<li>She knows how to handle her in-laws. You need not advise her about it.<\/li>\n<li>Never enter the personal zone of your daughter.<\/li>\n<li>Let her handle all her problems with her husband by herself.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\nAs you can see, the relationship between both is not very hostile and argumentative. But it is a cautious and wary relationship.<\/p>\nIn reality, the relationship between son-in-law and mother-in-law is tolerable because the daughter plays the role of a pacifying mediator. She will never let go her mother as she has great emotional bond with her.<\/p>\nSpacing and mutual respect is the best way to make the relationship between both tolerable and pleasurable.<\/p>\nWhen there is friendship between son-in-law and mother-in-law, the daughter feels very happy and relaxed. There are times when\u00a0 the relationship between son-in-law and mother-in-law blows hot.<\/p>\nBut it can also bring in cool breeze of friendliness when both know where you stand in each other\u2019s life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Is good friendship between son- in-law and mother-in-law impossible? Not at all. This relationship does not have the scalding heat of a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship. It is because a son-in-law and a mother-in-law is not always at war with each other. But son-in-law and mother-in-law relationship does have its own share of doubts and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false},"categories":[2],"tags":[1599,1505,1228,1597,1598,1504],"yoast_head":"\n<title>It is easy to have good friendship between son-in-law and mother-in-law provided each know their limits- Updated on 6\\6\\17<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Friendship between son-in-law and mother-in-law is very possible. 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