{"id":6934,"date":"2020-07-20T18:58:39","date_gmt":"2020-07-20T23:58:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.breezystorm.com\/?p=6934"},"modified":"2021-02-06T07:10:29","modified_gmt":"2021-02-06T13:10:29","slug":"over-possessiveness-about-your-spouse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.breezystorm.com\/over-possessiveness-about-your-spouse\/","title":{"rendered":"Over possessiveness about your spouse- A relationship killer"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Do you feel over possessiveness about your spouse? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"over<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Never be so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It kills your\nrelationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, you\ncannot help but be possessive about your spouse. It is in actual fact a very\nnormal feeling. You don\u2019t feel possessive about every Tom, Dick and Harry. You feel\npossessive about only the person you ardently love. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, there is nothing\nwrong in feeling possessive about your spouse. In reality, it is a most needed\ningredient for the longevity of your marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do you know why?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Without possessives you cannot enjoy a sense of belonging in your married life.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let me explain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let us suppose you are in a crowd. You look at the people\ngathered there and you feel nothing about them. You scarcely notice them also.\nBut when you happen to meet your spouse amongst the crowd, you instantly feel an\nemotional connectivity. You face lights up and you smile at your spouse with\nlove and affection. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why didn\u2019t you feel anything about the other people in the crowd?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is because they did not belong to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why did you lighten up when you saw your spouse?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is because you felt a sense of belonging towards him\\her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This sense of belonging you feel about your spouse is\ncompletely due to your possessiveness towards him\\her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you feel your spouse belongs to you, you inevitably become\npossessive about him\\her. You also feel a wee bit jealous when your spouse is\ntoo friendly with the opposite sex. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Can your marriage survive without this sort of possessiveness?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It cannot. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

How can you live with a person whom you do not feel is your own? <\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You live as a family only when there is a sense of belonging\ntowards each other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel possessive only about your spouse and not about\neveryone. It is because you feel he\\she belongs to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But what happens when this feeling of possessiveness crosses\nits border?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It becomes over-possessiveness. This overdose of\npossessiveness makes your spouse feel jailed, and fettered. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMy wife never allows\nme to interact with my parents\u201d Kumaresan, a boy I knew told me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cShe says she loves\nme so much that she cannot bear to see me interacting even with my parents\u201d the\nyoung man looked frustrated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMy wife keeps calling during my office hours to ask doubting questions about my female colleagues. Nowadays I find it impossible to tolerate her over possessiveness. My wife says that it is her overly love towards me that is making her feel over possessive. It is not so with me. I feel she has stolen my freedom and making me feel jailed\u201d Kumaresan fumed with anger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Can you see how the\nover possessive nature of his wife made Kumaresan feel claustrophobic in his\nrelationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMy spouse is mine\u201d\n– this feeling makes you feel committed and responsible towards him\\her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMy spouse is only\nmine\u201d this overpowering clinging nature makes you feel that your spouse should be\nat your beck and call 24x\\7.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do you know this over\npossessiveness about your spouse makes him\\her feel overwhelmed with anger and\nfrustration?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What happens when there\nis over possessiveness about your spouse?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n