Do you know that the scenario of your marriage changes over the years?
Unless you understand that changes are part and parcel of your relationship, your marriage cannot succeed.
Most of you feel unhappy that the fervent love you had for each other in the early stages of your married life no longer exists as years go by.
Don’t worry.
Always remember that the most important thing in a good marriage is not happiness, but stability.’ –Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Let us take your relationship with your children.
You cuddle them and coo to them when they are babies.
You play with them when they are toddlers.
You begin molding their character when they are young children.
You step away from them when they enter their teens.
You let them lead their lives when they become adults.
Can you see how much your relationship with your children undergoes changes as they grow?
Your love for them is the same, but the way you behave with them undergoes drastic changes.
Do you want to know how your marriage changes over the years?
1.Your love matures as your marriage changes over the years
You are no longer infatuated by your spouse as years go by.
Before marriage you wanted every minute to be spent together.
But after a few years of marriage you want spacing.
You want some time for yourself.
You gradually understand that your spouse is an individual with his\her own desires.
You now never expect the intense love you had for each other to have the same momentum.
2. You forgo your expectations as your marriage changes over the years
Before marriage you had many dreams about your spouse.
You had unrealistic expectations about him\her. You felt miserable when none of your expectations materialized.
You thought your marriage was a failure when your spouse was completely different from what your expected him\her to be.
You often fought with him\her because of your crushed expectations.
As years go by, you never expect too much from your spouse.
You begin to accept him\her for what he\she is. This brings in the much-needed relief to your stressed relationship.
3. You become more focused as your marriage changes over the years
After marriage you become more accountable as you have many family responsibilities to be fulfilled.
So you become ambitious to fulfill your family commitments.
Yes.
Before marriage your thoughts were without focus and without aim. You did not have any commitments and so your mind was always aimless and clueless about what should be done for your future.
After marriage, there is focus and aim in your life.
You have duties to be fulfilled and your family future to be secured.
You forgo your happy-go-lucky days.
You become concentrated on your work as you want to succeed. You know that success in work meant betterment for your family.
4. You love your spouse more as your marriage changes over the years
When your children were young they clung to you for emotional support.
You more than gave it to them. In the bargain you ignored the emotional needs of your spouse. This created many misunderstanding between you.
You never realized your mistake as your whole world revolved around your children.
But as your children become adult they no longer need you for emotional support.
They have their own world and you are not a part of it.
But your spouse is still a part and parcel of your life.
You feel sad that you have realized rather late the importance of your spouse in your life.
You now step away from your children and allow your spouse to step into your life.
5. You become more compatible as your marriage changes over the years
You now become more tolerable to the faults of your spouse.
As you age your emotional dependency on your spouse grows.
You realize his\her good qualities in the later stages of your marriage.
Your relationship slowly loses the tension of your early marriage days.
Do you know when you stick around your spouse you will definitely enjoy your married life?
But do you not have the patience to let your marriage evolve and mature. You are in a hurry to end your marriage. Your haste makes a waste of your relationship. If only you live through the hard days of your marriage, it slowly but surely changes for the better.
Jackie says
My husband and I had been seen our marriage therapist so one day for our session with her so she asked my husband the questions is “One thing is his good memories in our young days.” He tried to remember which is good ones, he even can’t figure out.. He said all he can remembered that we were on vacation in New York which was in 2010, It surprised me, I didn’t realize that he have not much memories all the years we had been together totally 24 years. He seems not care about our memories anymore. So the therapist asked me same thing so I answered immediately that our wonderful memories is at I got my husband the ticket for Notre Dame football game in 1994 ~ my husband faced down and embrassed that’s how could he forget all about his favorite football game for years. I read yours about we grow old and together to chat a bit about our memories so we could have a good laugh. You know what I mean? Does he care about it? or Some men don’t have some memories with their wife, Is that very common?