Brian,
Just like an all controlling husband, an all controlling wife is terrible to live with.
I don’t understand why you are giving all your earnings to your wife. It is mistake number one. You should never allow your wife to dictate terms and conditions to you. This is mistake number two.
Understand one simple trick. Your wife will dominate and control you only if you allow her to do. You should take the intiative. I am not telling you to pick fights with her. But show her that you are not a person to be played around with.
Tell her in no uncertain terms that you will never tolerate her meddling with your emotions. When your anger is dignified your wife will definetly change a wee bit. When you become indifferent towards her temper, she will lose her steam. Everything has to with your attitude. Act firmly. Otherwise you might become a nervous wreck.