Comments on: Handling your life if you are unlucky to have married a depressive husband?

By: Hasina

Hasina — Fri, 02 Sep 2016 10:27:06 +0000

Very useful tips
Thanks

By: Mathi

Mathi — Sun, 10 Jul 2016 02:48:54 +0000

Don’t let your husband take over your life. You should definitely adjust with your husband but not at the cost of your self respect. Set boundaries for yourself. Your husband has no rights to interfere in it. Your work is very important for your self respect. You should have gone for your training. Never mind. It is not late now. Become confident here afterwards. You would be amazed how your husband is taken aback by your transformation. Yours was an accident, not a punishment. If your husband persists in making your life a hell you can consider moving away from him. Good luck.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sat, 09 Jul 2016 18:30:05 +0000

In reply to Mathi.

Thanx so much for been there for us.Right now I need the strength to move on with my life,for as long as am not ready to go back and work in his business we will never be fine.He wants me to work for him so he can monitor how I earn and my whereabouts yet we are married out of community of property.So far am still a secret wife that is know by his three brothers and 4 cousins that are in south Africa.back in his country his other family member do not know of me and the kids.At some point he told me his wife will never work (meaning his other wife and has a nanny that cleans for her)yet am expected to do everything by my self and he is a clean free. I pray to God for the strength to start afresh.by running after him I will end up destroying my daughters future as they believe eduction is for boys.He does not approve of the savings am keeping towards thier education.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sat, 09 Jul 2016 09:28:52 +0000

Am a 31 year old South African married to a Senegalese Muslim with two identities,He claims he was born 1979 while his I’d is 1974,he has a cousin brother that he claims is two years older than him with the id of 1972.we have been together for 11 years now.Got marriage in the third year of our relationship.He is so controlling and dictating to anything I do.he would get angry if I say anything positive about me or my siblings.When I do a thing for them he gets so mad.we have two daughters now. When we got married he claimed he is not married back in his country and I found out he was having a wife and two sons when I was pregnant with our second daughter through his other cousins by mistake,the cousins is alcoholic so he mistakenly told me the secret while drunk.when I confronted him about it he said “You would have agree if I told you,don’t act like you have a problem plus Islam allow it”he reprimanded me and said is what I wanted when I investigated him.I was pregnant and working in his business.I feared going back to my family so I stayed.since then is three year I feel I don’t want this marriage anymore but am unable to leave.After my second daughter was born I learned that he was a having an affair with some lady working for his brother.I still didn’t leave and looked for a job,which I got in an insurance company.He would yell at me and say is not a halal money that am earning yet he wanted to control how I spend it.Most recently I was invited to attend management planning at work that would take four day away from home.when I told him about it he refused and said I can’t go to “holiday,hotels” and said this job is making me a bitch and I can’t go.so I didn’t. It’s been three weeks now and I can’t find it in my heart to speak to him. We stay together but not talking to each other.I feel so drained.three days ago I got injured at netball and had a small crack on the ankle,he claims is a punishment from God for how I conduct myself.Now feel like is time to move and to not consider that our kids ll be broken by this.Am I been selfish towards them.