Comments on: Suspicion in marriage – A devil destroying your relationship

By: Mathi

Mathi — Mon, 20 Sep 2021 11:33:58 +0000

In reply to Sam.

Hi,
Well, it does seem that your husband is attracted to the other woman.
This is a strange behavior from your husband, who has been married to you for 30 years.
I think there is no emotional attachment from your husband’s side.
It seems to be just a physical attraction. It will go off on its own.
I am in no way justifying the behavior of your husband. When he wants loyalty from you, it is your absolute right to expect the same from him.
Hiring a detective would not solve your problem. It would only aggravate it.
You should confront your husband about the girl.
Give him the warning that you would not tolerate him playing around.
Do not mince your words, if you are sure about your doubts.
And your behavior should be such that it should be a warning to your husband that you mean business.
Do not lose your marriage, by acting impulsively.
But do not allow your husband get away by cheating you.
It is your life. And you have all the right to bring your husband to his senses, by acting firmly and intelligently.
Talk to him.
And make him understand that you might leave him if he continues cheating you.

By: Sam

Sam — Thu, 16 Sep 2021 14:03:56 +0000

We have been married for 30 years. Months ago I saw personal text messages from a girl at work to my husband. The TM had come across his ipad. I was very surprised to read these personal, funny TM to him! He comes across and lives as holier than thou and even states he would never even tell a lie. I also found out she goes to his office a lot and she shuts the door for an hour or so. He spoke highly of Mike Pence never being on an elevator with another woman alone. I watched over time as the TM continued and became more frequent. He also spoke about her all the time to me, my son said it sounds like they are married. I finally did the adult thing and tried to talk to him about it. I thought that the TM were inappropriate and that they needed to stop. It was a slippery slope. He denied the door closing at work and at first said nothing to her about the TM. He went back to work and told his co-workers to change all TM to work apps with log ins and laws that go with all of that. I have never looked in his phone and have a few times now. I feel as though he lied and so I began to look. Completely out of character for me. I feel like the deceit and his lies have now separated us some what, and we are trying to get back to a good place in our marriage. He now only does his phone time when I am not in the room. He never leaves his phone. I have quit trying to look out of respect for him yet his activities make me suspicious. I peaked around doors to see this activity. I feel so dumb. How does one repair this when one person tries to have honest conversations about these things and the other one lies and looks away and has secrets? How to break the cycle? I have a different view now of my self righteous husband. I want to stay married and I believe he does too, but he has a hard time admitting what he was doing was wrong and going too far. He said he hid it from me because he knew it would bother me. If something bothers your spouse you ask why and talk about it, do not just hide it. There is no telling him that. He still TM in secret on the apps and I do not know what to do? Just let it all go? Hire a detective? I honestly have been trying to look at his stuff myself and he has changed all user names and PW. I have never done this in our marriage so now I just quit and think how dumb that behavior is but what does one do when suspicious stuff is going on and the other spouse fibs about it and hides stuff? I also found out he checks on my car location a lot and my phone location as well. I feel one day I may just have to let it all out to him and go from there. I just never knew all of this was occurring and now I am in shock that it was going on. I have brought all up in conversations to him and he is good at dodging and tryin got put things back on me. I had a convo not too long ago and called him out on it all. I felt good about it but this is still hanging around in my head and my heart. Help.

By: Joy

Joy — Sun, 11 Apr 2021 09:11:02 +0000

I just wonder how to got it so well written and expressed. It is truly a place like hell to live with a suspicious husband or wife.
Such people are best left alone as singles in life because they mess other peoples lives up. It gets to a point where you can not even explain or ask for such opinion to be verified, even when you verify, it not accepted. It ruins the life of whoever is experiencing it because it leaves the heart bleeding without hope and cure.

By: Mathi

Mathi — Sat, 31 Oct 2020 21:09:51 +0000

In reply to Sarah.

Hi Sarah,
Don’t wreck your marriage by doubting your husband. You say that your husband was talking with the opposite sex and that it was a business talk. You need not worry about it. He was being friendly with the person because to be successful in business you need to be friendly. So, do not make it into an issue. Your husband hurt your with harsh words because of your doubting nature. This does not mean he does not love you. His anger just shows his hurt and helplessness when you question him needlessly about your unwarranted doubts. Refrain from doubting your husband. And forgo your suspicious nature. It will do your marriage a world of good.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Mon, 12 Oct 2020 20:20:04 +0000

I just read your post after a long tiring night of fight with my husband. It’s been 14 years since I’m married and I’m suspicious by nature. I have been suspicious early on in the relationship but then with time I learnt & stopped but now again I’m falling into the trap of this thing. Sometimes even when I have a chance to look at his phone, I don’t and sometimes i just can’t resist the feeling of doing it and I will.
Today, I just found that he is talking to some girl and they were just discussing business but then I don’t understand why my husband has to become extra friendly with them.
I can’t just tolerate that my husband is talking to someone of opposite sex. I want to overcome it, I try it.. but I just keep falling into the trap. Today, he has said meanest of things to me because of my doubts and nature.. he is so convinced that this will be an ongoing nature and that I can never change. Today, he even told me that he will get rid of me if I do it next time.
I don’t do it deliberately.. and I love him, but how can I save this marriage? Can I ever get my respect back? Please help me…

By: Mathi

Mathi — Sun, 11 Oct 2020 21:22:43 +0000

In reply to eshu.

Hi Eshu,
I think you committed a grave mistake by texting your ex boyfriend. There is absolutely no need for it. It might seem harmless to you, but to your husband it will evoke needless doubts about you. You say that your husband has lost his job. So he must be feeling tensed and stressed. Do not do things that will ignite the doubts of your husband. The situation your husband is in is making him feel less about himself. You must have a frank talk with him and make him understand that he has not lost your love for him. This is rough patch in your married life. You will definitely get over it. Hereafterwards do not have any sort of contacts with your ex boyfriend. It will only make things worse.

By: eshu

eshu — Sat, 19 Sep 2020 15:59:11 +0000

Hi.. inmarried to hisbad for 4 years.. he lost his job recently n since then he started to spying me.. thongs got worse wen i texted my ex boyfriend.. it was juat a 2 days conversation over the phone.. and casual talks.. when he confronted me , i told what we were talking about but he ended up bursting to me with so hrsh words.. after thati clarified everuthing but he is still giving me mental torture by suspecting on me..