Are you wondering what I mean when I say that you often marry for wrong reasons?
I am sure you would not agree with me when I say that you marry for wrong reasons.
“I only marry the person I ardently love” you vehemently defend yourself.
If you marry the person you love, why does your marriage plunge into failure?
It is because you select the wrong person. You marry for wrong reasons. You marry in haste and repent in leisure.
Do you want an example?
I went to meet my friend after a long gap. I was bewildered to see her looking haggard and aged.
Where was her beauty?
Where was her vivaciousness?
My eyes searched for her husband. She looked at me with a wry smile.
“He is not here. I do not know why I married him. He will be home after midnight fully drunk. It happens daily,” she choked with angry frustration.
“Why? What happened? You were so happy when you married him” I was shocked to hear her complaining about her marriage.
“I knew that my husband was an alcoholic even before I married him. Do you believe it?” she elaborated.
I did not know about it. And it was astonishing that she had married him in spite of this.
“Then why did you marry him?” I was mad at her foolishness.
“I convinced myself that my love would change him. But I learned the bitter lesson that you cannot change a person unless he changes within himself. Now my life is a nightmare as I live with an obsessive alcoholic” my friend was inconsolable.
What made my friend commit such a blunder?
My friend was carried away by her blind emotional love.
Are you like my friend?
When in love you have no time to analyze the future of your relationship as you are in a hurry to marry the person you love, irrespective of whether your marriage would work or not.
You overlook the fact that marriage is a lifelong relationship.
Why are you emotionally driven to marry a person not at all suitable to you?
Do you feel you can change your spouse for the better after marrying him\her?
You cannot.
“Then should I be calculative about whom I should love and marry?” your question is very credible.
It is true that love is as divine as God.
And marriage is indeed sacred.
But the wrong person you marry for wrong reasons makes a mockery of the sanctity of your marriage.
Here are the 5 wrong reasons to marry
The no 1. wrong reason is thinking that social status does not matter at all
It is true that love does not see whether the person you love is rich or poor.
Marriage is all about love, isn’t it?
But in practicality married life is entirely different.
Vast difference in your social status can make it very difficult for you to adjust with your spouse after the initial newness of your marriage wears away.
Suppose you are from a very affluent family and your spouse is from a very poor family.
The mediocre lifestyle of your spouse makes you fume with frustrated anger. The drudgery of the place you live in make you shudder in irritation.
The commonplace food you eat makes you long for the lavish food you are used to. The paucity of money you always face makes you furious. Your poor living style makes you tense and edgy.
By marrying a person well below your social status forces you into a lifestyle you are not used to. You now long for the luxury you were brought up.
Though you try to adjust to the mediocre lifestyle of your spouse, your superior upbringing makes it impossible for you to stoop to a low level of living.
Everything about your spouse looks very dull and mundane after a few years of marriage. ‘He or she is not up to my standards’ this thought shows the blunder you made in marrying a person well below your status.
You should refrain from getting married if you have any doubts that your huge difference in social status would intrude in your relationship.
When the freshness of your love wears off, you feel cheated and defeated to have got into a relationship which had no hopes of survival from the day one of your marriage.
The no 2. wrong reason is sexual attraction
Do you feel sexually attracted to your spouse?
When your spouse is very good looking you are totally enamored by him or her. You feel attracted by his or her attractive physical appearance.
You feel you are lucky to be loved by a person whose physical attributes is envied by many.
You want to marry him or her at any cost. You feel thrilled when people say you have got a ‘good catch’.
You mistake sexual attraction as love. You wrongly assume that good looks and attraction can make your married life throb with excitement.
But after you marry you realize very late that outward appearance has nothing to do with happiness in marriage.
How long can sexual attraction last?
Just a few months.
After a few years you are no longer attracted by the looks of your spouse. When you marry because you are physically attracted to your spouse, your relationship is like standing over a quicksand. Your marriage is eventually swallowed by the whirling differences you face with your spouse.
No 3. wrong reason is thinking that you can change your spouse for the better.
Are you in love with a cheat?
Is the person you love an alcoholic?
Is he or she a Casanova or a shrew?
Is the person you want to marry a sadist?
Do you think you can change him or her with your love?
Do you feel a martyr?
“I will change my spouse with my unconditional love.”
You blind love takes a beating after you marry.
Your spouse who listened to you before marriage now refuses to listen to you after you marry him or her.
How will your marriage survive if he or she does not change for the better?
You become a nervous wreck for marrying a wrong person.
Such diversified characteristics cannot survive together for long.
The no 4. wrong reason is you want to be financially well off
Did you marry your spouse for his or her affluence?
Since you want to enjoy all the good things in life, you feel that the only solution to your financial problems is to marry a rich man or a rich woman.
You think your married life would be fulfilled if you marry a rich person.
You do not want to live a mediocre life of mere survival after marriage.
Do you think marrying a well-off person will solve all your financial problems?
Sadly, money cannot make your marriage work. Without love your relationship can never survive.
Do not be smug that your rich spouse would be willing to pool you out of your financial problems. He or she might never do that.
Money can only make your married life financially stable. But it gives no guarantee to make your relationship loving and fulfilling.
The no 5. Wrong reason is marrying on the rebound
Has your love failed?
You feel completely lost and lonely. And when you meet a person who strikes an emotional chord with you, you feel emotionally inclined towards him\her.
You think that he or she would be your savior. And so, you marry him or her without thinking whether your love is true or not.
Impulsive marriage never works. Marrying on the rebound is a sure loser.
You are right when you say that you cannot be calculative to select the person you want to marry.
Never marry for unstable reasons. It will make your married life unstable. Always watch out for warning signals. It is worth paying attention to it. Wait for the right person to marry. It is a worthwhile wait.
Did this video pinpoint the wrong reasons you marry?
Always think before you marry. Never repent after marrying.
I have a happy news to share with you!
I have started a Youtube channel which a comprehensive relationship guide.
Here is the link to my channel.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNrT3KOkTU5ITQMyYnVsxGQ
Marriage realities will have many videos touching hitherto unknown aspects of married life.
Subscribe to understand your relationship better.
Leave a Reply