Most of you never say sorry to your spouse even though you badly hurt him\her, do you?
This is a grave relationship blunder which could wreck your marital happiness in a real bad way.
“I hate my husband when he takes me for granted” my friend told me with resentment written all over her face.
“Why do you say so?” I asked my friend.
“Well, my husband insults me consistently when he has work related pressures. What irritates me no end is when he never cares to apologize to me for the hurt he inflicted on me. He just coolly goes about his work as if nothing happened between us” my friend literally gritted her teeth in frustrated anger.
“When my husband never apologizes for fighting needlessly with me, I am so resentful against him that I nowadays I want to retaliate for the hurt he inflicts on me” I felt that my friend was feeling rightfully angry by the callous attitude of her husband.
Can you see that when my friend’s husband did not apologize for the wrong he had done, it made her feel resentful and angry?
My friend was very normal in feeling hurt when her husband inflicted his anger upon her. Her resentment would not have been so deep if her husband had apologized to her for his angry outburst.
Her anger against her husband was not exactly because he uttered harsh words. Her anger was directed at the casual attitude of her husband who never thought that it was his duty to apologize when he was in the wrong.
So, when you do not say sorry to your spouse, he\she builds up resentment against you.
Sadly, this is what happens in today’s modern marriages.
You never say sorry to your spouse.
It has become common for you to flash out in anger against your spouse. When you face lot of outside pressures in your life, your tolerance ratio dips below the danger level.
- You suffer from tremendous work-related pressures.
- You face competition all around you.
- You are always on your toes to keep in pace with the rat race prevalent around you.
Naturally, you are always keyed up and tensed when you live in such competitive atmosphere.
Your spouse too will never be left behind. He\she retaliates with equal vengeance so that eventually both exchange hot and hurting words.
In actual fact, you do not mean the hurting words you utter against your spouse. Your anger is just your outlet to drain the stress and frustration that keeps building up in you.
It is a very normal scenario. In fact, it is very common occurrence in almost all marriages.
But when you do not apologize to your spouse, he\she never forgets the agony and aguish your words caused in him\her.
If you ignore the emotional upheaval you caused to your spouse by your unthinking behaviour, it creates a very nightmarish effect in your married life.
When you roam about as if nothing happened even after inflicting great hurt in your spouse, the resentment he\she feels snowballs into a marriage destroyer.
Do you know when you say sorry to your spouse, it instantly melts his\her built up resentment?
But you never apologize to your spouse.
It is because you are too egoistic. You also feel you have done nothing wrong and so need not apologize. You are so indifferent towards the feelings of your spouse that you never want to be apologetic.
Sad, isn’t it?
Do you know the magic words “I am sorry” can make you and your spouse come closer to each other?
But you never do it as you always feel that only you are right and your spouse is always wrong.
What are the kind of hurts that need a deep and sincere apology from you?
- When you thrust your personal tension on your spouse.
- When you turn away from your spouse at a time when he\she is feeling completely washed out.
- When you insult the family of your spouse just to provoke him\her.
- When you degrade your spouse in the presence of your friends\relatives.
- When you needlessly suspect your spouse and ask insultingly probing questions.
These are just the icing of the different types of insults you and your spouse inflict on each other.
There are many a time you keep on needling your spouse in different nerve-wracking ways.
When you coolly overlook apologizing to your spouse, the resentment and anger he\she feels could eventually choke your relationship to death.
You are very human to behave wrongly with your spouse.
To err is human, isn’t it?
It is very human to behave faultily with your spouse. It is a common occurrence in most marriages. But to think that your spouse is a dustbin to spit all your pent-up frustrations and disappointments is a major relationship disaster.
When two individuals unite in a relationship, it is only natural that there are lots of differences of opinion between you.
Do you know this is what makes your marriage interesting?
When you truly love and respect your spouse you will never degrade him\her. Even when you mildly hurt your spouse, you instantly feel remorseful and apologize to him\her.
“I am sorry” are magic words in your marriage.
An indifferent and emotionless apology will never be accepted by your spouse. Your voice modulation should convey the message that you are truly apologetic.
Conclusion
“Never forget the nine most important words of any family-I love you. You are beautiful. Please forgive me.”- H. Jackson Brown Jr.
You never understand that marriage relationship is highly emotional. When emotions of your spouse are time and again trampled by you, he\she turns hostile towards you.
You can easily cool down the hostility by saying I am sorry to your spouse.
It is a very simple trick but has never failed to deliver the goods.
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There are lot of videos highlighting the common relationship issues couple face.
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