Do you know your broken promises in marriage is a grave relationship issue?
Most of you make this mistake.
You promise certain things in the heck of the moment to your spouse and coolly forget about it. This itself shows that you gave false promises to him\her.
Though you forget your promise, your spouse remembers it vividly. In fact, he\she expects you to fulfill it.
What are the common promises you make to your spouse?
“I will take you out”- But you don’t as you easily forget the promise you made.
“I will buy you the mobile phone you wanted for your birthday” – But invariably you don’t even remember the birthday of your spouse. Yet another unfilled promise.
Just a few examples of false promises you make to your spouse.
Broken promises in marriage makes you lose the trust of your spouse.
He\she knows that you promise shallowly without an intention of fulfilling it.
Marriage is made up of many intricate threads. One broken thread literally tears your relationship into shreds.
Remembering your promises is one such tiny thread which has a big impact in your married life. It signals that you are trustworthy and honest. It shows your love for your spouse that you remembered to do what you promised to do.
After a few years of marriage your concentration is totally focused on fulfilling your family responsibilities. In the bargain you forget to pay attention to the small intricacies your relationship needs to make it lively and exciting.
Keeping up your promises is one such tiny aspect of your marriage totally ignored by you.
“My husband never keeps his promises. I am fed up when he consistently says he did not remember it” Anamika, my friend’s daughter fumed.
“What promises does he give you?” I asked her with a smile.
“Well aunty, my husband will promise to take me for shopping, but invariably he will come late from work. When I ask him about the shopping, he will look blank. Yes. He had forgotten about it. Why does he give me false promises?” I could sense Anamika’s irritation.
“Not only that. He will promise to take me to movies. He will forget. He will promise to buy me jewels and he will not remember it. I think he promises me many things just to pacify me. I now know that he has no intention of fulfilling any of his promises. I feel so disappointed. Why should my husband promise anything when he never remembers it?” the young girl looked angry.
I think Anamika had a point there.
The forgetfulness of Anamika’s husband in keeping up his promises is not a marriage destroyer. But it made his wife highly disappointed and unhappy.
Yes!
Not remembering your promises cause intense disappointment in your spouse.
Let us suppose your management promises to give you promotion this year.
You eagerly wait for it as it is an acknowledgment for your hard work, isn’t it?
But suppose your management fails to keep up the promise and your promotion is denied to you.
How will you feel about the management?
You will feel you have been taken for a ride by them. You lose trust in them. You lose interest in working for them.
It is the same in your marriage. Unfulfilled and meaningless promises bring in tons of disappointment and resentment into your relationship.
The disappointment your spouse feels when you fail to keep up your promise is not to be ignored. Persistent failure to fulfill promises you give your spouse makes him\her feel you never really mean what you assured.
This leads to unwanted fights and arguments between you.
Here is how you forget the little promises you make to your spouse.
You promise a grand celebration for your wedding anniversary. You don’t fulfill it.
You promise to buy your spouse certain things he\she craved for. But you never buy it.
More than not keeping up your promises, it is your cool overlooking it that makes your spouse all heated up.
You never offer an apology for forgetting your promises. You never offer an explanation. You never pacify your spouse. This attitude of yours further aggravates the anger of your spouse.
If at all you remember your promise, you do not give any special attention towards it as you feel it is not a big deal.
You are wrong.
You must remember the promises you made to your spouse.
Most of you make promises for the birthday of your spouse and your wedding anniversary.
But you hardly remember it.
You must remember what you promised for his\her birthday.
You must remember how you promised to celebrate your wedding anniversary.
These are D days of your relationship.
Does keeping your promises for such small things mean a lot in your married life?
Yes!
It means a lot.
Your spouse feels it displays your love for him\her in an emphatic manner.
What happens when you don’t keep your promises for these important days?
Your spouse sulks in anger and frustration that you have lost your love for him\her. Such forgetfulness gradually makes your relationship drift towards boredom.
You make many promises to your spouse without really meaning it. Often you make it to pacify him\her. When you want to get out of a heated situation you are lavish in making promises.
These are some of the promises most husbands make without really meaning it.
“I will take you out.”
“I will buy you the diamond ring you have been asking.”
“I will not drink.”
“I will consult you before investing money.”
These are some of the common promises you make to your wife to cajole her. Soon afterwards your promises are thrown to the dustbin. You never even think about it.
‘No relationship is easy, and nobody should ever think it is. The minute you start forgetting the needs of the other person is when you get in trouble.’– Goldie Hawn
When you keep on giving false promises without remembering it, your wife decides not to trust you. She knows you will never fulfill any of your promises. It leads to many fights between you. Your interaction is heated when she attacks you with a list of failed promises.
Here are the mostly forgotten promises of your wife.
“I will never nag you.”
“I will cook your favorite dish today.”
“I will never compare you with others.”
These are some of the common promises you make to your husband.
You too coolly say it without meaning it.
Your promise of not nagging makes your husband feel relieved that he would escape your lashing tongue. But he is shocked when you keep on nagging him.
You often cook him an uninteresting meal.
You invariably compare your husband with others.
Just like you your husband also frets and fumes that you never remember anything you promised.
Both are wrong in making meaningless assurances which you forget instantly.
Don’t make promises you will never fulfill. You think it is just a promise, nothing serious. But your assurance makes your spouse dream about it. When you destroy his\her dream by time and again forgetting your promise, you lose his\her trust.
So, never guarantee things you don’t have the intention of fulfilling.
Conclusion
“Sometimes people don’t understand the promises they’re making when they make them.” ―John Green,
Can you see how forgotten promises becomes an annoying problem in your marriage?
When you make good what you promised your spouse he\she trusts you.
Remembering your promises is a unique way of showing your love for your spouse.
So, assure only what you will do and not just for the sake of it.
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