Differences between a happy and miserable marriage is so vast that you will be surprised by its magnitude.
Everyone wants to enjoy good relationship with his\ her spouse. But only a lucky few are gifted with an excellent married life.
Why are some marriages happy while most marriages are miserable?
Marriage is a relationship which can be made happy or miserable only by you and your spouse.
No one can make your marriage defeated except you. No one can destroy your happiness if your love for each other is strong and stable.
‘Life has taught us that love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.’ –Antoine De Saint- Exupery
Do you want to see the differences between a happy and miserable marriage?
1. Sign of a happy marriage -Love and respect for each other
- You love each other so much that your married life is peaceful and happy.
- You overlook the minor faults of your spouse. You do not make a big fight out of it.
- You give space to your spouse.
- You never intrude into his\her privacy.
- You respect the family of your spouse which makes him\her respect yours.
- You love your spouse for what he\she is.
- You never try to change him\her according to your wishes.
- You share the inner feelings of your spouse so that he\she does not feel emotionally alone.
Signs of a miserable marriage – complete lack of love between you
- There is no love or respect for each other.
- Both play the accusing game to perfection.
- You feel you are always right and your spouse is always wrong.
- You pick up fights with him\her for feeble reasons.
- You interfere into the privacy of your spouse.
2. Signs of a happy marriage -Affable discussion and mutual decision
- You discuss important family issues with your spouse amicably.
- You also respect his\her views.
- You do not feel egoistic to accept his\her decision if it is better than yours.
- You allow your spouse to help his\her parents. He\she does the same.
- You do not interfere into the financial independence of your spouse.
Signs of a miserable marriage – No mutual discussion
- Both are like two different islands.
- You make your own arbitrary decisions.
- Your spouse does what he\she feels is right and you do what you think is right.
- There are no combined discussions and no mutual decisions. So you do not feel as a family.
- You do not confide your feelings to your spouse, as you fear her\his lashing tongue.
3. Signs of a happy marriage – Transparency
- Your spouse knows everything about you. He\she shares his\her secrets with you.
- You know each other perfectly. The comfort level in your relationship is astounding.
- You inform your spouse that you will be late from work and also the reason behind it. So he\she relaxes at home without fretting about the reason why you are late from work.
- You do not spend long hours away from home without an explanation.
- You confide about your unhappy past to your spouse, as you are absolutely confident of his\her support.
- You do not hush talk in the mobile for hours making your spouse suspicious.
Signs of a miserable marriage -The hush-hush secrets you have
- You have many secrets hidden away from your spouse.
- You go out as you wish and never tell your spouse about your whereabouts.
- You talk in low tones for hours in your mobile while your spouse frets in frustration.
- Your spouse never knows your income, savings, or your increment.
- He\she no idea about your friends.
4. Signs of a happy marriage. There is no nagging and domination
- There is no domination in your relationship.
- You respect the view of your spouse as worthy of attention.
- You understand that your spouse is an individual who has an entirely different way of doing things. You accept it graciously.
- Even if your spouse does something which is not to your liking you do not nag him\her about it.
- You explain in a reasonable manner why you do not like it. Needless to say, your spouse listens to you.
Signs of a miserable marriage – Nagging and domination
- You feel you are more knowledgeable than your spouse is.
- You always want your word to be final.
- You never listen to the views of your spouse. In fact, you dictate terms and conditions to be followed to the dot by him\her.
- Whenever your spouse does something you do not like, you nag him\her threadbare.
5. Signs of a happy marriage – Absolute support and protection
- You do not demean your spouse to prove that you are way ahead of him\her.
- You spring to the support of your spouse if anyone tries to demean him\her.
- When your spouse is downcast, you instantly give him\her emotional support.
- You feel the problems of your spouse is yours too. You never distance yourself as if it was none of your business.
- When your spouse has any problems, he\she immediately confesses to you as he\she has absolute trust in you.
Signs of a miserable marriage – Complete emotional isolation
- There is constant verbal and physical abuse in your relationship.
- You do not support each other whenever there are family issues and problems.
- You take sadistic pleasure in comparing your spouse in a lesser light with others.
- You pass derogatory comments about him\her before your friends\family\relatives.
Can you see the mountain of differences between a happy and miserable marriage?
A way too much, isn’t it?
How do you overcome the differences between a happy and miserable marriage?
A miserable marriage needs no contribution from you as it accelerates to failure on its own. But when you practice the goodness of a happy marriage, misery in your relationship is thrown away.