Being married to a jobless husband, can be quite tormenting to a wife.
It is because when the husband is without a job, the onus of being financially responsible falls on the wife. When a wife is the sole earning member of the family, she is at her tether end not knowing how to mete out all the expenses that crop up in the family.
Are you also a wife married to a jobless husband?
I am sure, you are all at seas about the ways to manage your family. Money means a lot to your family. You need money for almost everything. When you and your husband earn good money, you do not feel worried about your family’s financial status. But when your husband is without a job, you feel at loss as his contribution for your family needs become null and void.
Without enough money, it becomes impossible for you to manage your family’s expenses. Money is that important for your financial security, and the longevity of your marriage. Though you love your husband, with money or without money, you well know that you cannot live without being financially well off.
When your husband is earning as good as you, you feel financially safe and sound. But when your husband loses his job, you fear the financial stability of your family. It is true, that love is not about money, but life is all about money. The world does not care about your love, but it cares about your financial status. This mercenary society respects you, only when you have money.
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When your husband is jobless, the onus of managing your family’s financial commitments become too one-sided for you. You have many family expenses to be met. You have your children’s education fees, grocery bills, electric bills, mortgage bills, repayments bills, day-to-day expenses and many more.
Many a time, you feel overwhelmed by the magnitude of financial responsibility thrust on you. It is not that you will stop loving your husband, when he is jobless. But you dearly wish, that he would soon find a job so that he could again financially support you.
When your husband is jobless, his morale is crushed. If your husband lost his job due to a layoff, he cannot be blamed for it. When you add salt to the mental injury of your husband by constantly pestering him to find a job, he is further destroyed. Your constant fight with your husband about finding a job, is a crushing blow to his confidence. When your husband loses his confidence, he might well fall into depression.
This is something you must not allow to happen. When your husband loses his job, he can get a better one, but when he falls into depression, it would be difficult to retrieve back his confidence. You must be emotionally supportive towards your husband, at this worst period of his life. Your unflinching moral support to your jobless husband, will act as an energy booster to him.
You must be patient, until your husband gets a good job. As you well know, getting a good job is quite difficult, and it will take time for your husband to find one. Just like you, your jobless husband is also waiting to go for work. Sitting idle at home, while you are going to work is already wreaking havoc to his male ego.
When you act derisive towards your husband, because of his inability to provide for your family, he will shrink his world into silence and dejection. Your husband will also stamp you, as being unloving and money-minded.
When your husband is sincerely looking for a job, you must give him time. Do not keep questioning him about his interview, and how he faced it. Do not also deride your husband, that he has no ability to find a good job. When you do so, it could make your husband lose his assertiveness and doubt his own ability. This could prove costly, in his search for an appropriate job.
When your husband fails in his interview, you must boost his morale by saying that he will soon find a job which would be much more suitable to him. When you are encouraging, your husband will feel confident and assertive about finding a good job so that he could start contributing for his family.
Here is one word of caution.
When your jobless husband enjoys relaxing at home, without really searching for a job, you must not allow him to stay lazy. When you pamper the laziness of your husband, you are only willingly making him irresponsible and converting him into a burden to your already sagging shoulders.
Do not ever commit this mistake. Being indulgent to the laziness of your husband is not being loving. You are only spoiling your husband, and converting him into a spoilt brat. Once your husband relishes being a spoilt brat, he will forever remain so.
If you keep providing for the expenses of your husband, it only makes him feel good just staying at home and doing nothing. You should not allow this to happen. You should stop giving money for the expenses of your husband, when you find out that he is not searching for a job. You must compel him to find a job, so that the financial pressures you are presently facing could be shared by him.
When your husband is not intent in finding a job, it just means he wants you to bear the brunt of all your family’s financial burden. When you let your husband go unscathed, you are only encouraging his laziness and irresponsibility. This indulgent attitude could cost you your marriage.
So, you must make sure that your husband is looking for a job. When your husband stays idle, you must not mince words with him, about the pressures you are facing to run the family. Being a wife of a jobless husband often robs your happiness in a telling manner. When you are unable to make both ends meet, it is only natural that you get edgy and irritated by your husband. But when your husband is sincerely looking for a job, you must be understanding towards his agony and anxiety.
Conclusion
Being married to a jobless husband, increases your family responsibilities multifold. You must be an understanding wife, who stands by your husband in his difficult times. At the same time, you must make sure that your husband is not leaning too heavily on your understanding nature.
Quite a task for you.
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