Egoistic husband makes you feel jailed and imprisoned in your married life, doesn’t he?
Why?
You lose all the fun elements in your married life when you are totally controlled by your husband.
You often feel like a robot programmed to act according to his wishes, don’t you?
You feel jailed when your egoistic husband literally takes over your life.
When he dominates you, you literally suffocate with suppressed feelings. You want to yell at your husband that you have the capacity to take care of your life.
How does your egoistic husband control you?
- You have no rights to do things as you want to.
- He is the only deciding authority of the family.
- You are not discussed about family decisions.
- He insults you before relatives\friends.
- He treats you like a dimwit.
- You cannot help your family.
- He demands, commands and dominates your life.
How terrifying your relationship is.
<iframe width=”900″ height=”506″ src=”https://www.youtube.com/embed/1f1H86gWjdo” frameborder=”0″ allow=”accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture” allowfullscreen></iframe>What is the core of a partnership?
It is all about equal rights, isn’t it?
When your rights are denied by your egoistic husband you feel your married life a terrible bore. You want to break free from him to enjoy the freshness of independence.
You are right in feeling so.
You are after all an adult with a mind of your own, aren’t you?
Your husband has no right to take over your life.
How do you feel when your husband is egoistic?
- You look with longing at your friends\colleagues enjoying total freedom in their married life.
- You too want the freedom to live your life as you want to.
- There are times you want to divorce your husband.
But divorce is not an answer to handle your egoistic husband.
You need tons of patience to come out of such mind crushing situation.
Analyze the reasons behind the egoistic behavior of your husband.
- He might be suffering from inferiority complex
- He might be a byproduct of an abusive childhood.
- You might be more successful than him.
- He might be feeling emotionally insecure.
- He might be tensed by work related problems.
Inferiority complex instills a feeling of insecurity in your husband. In order to hide it he tries to put on a show of dominance. He vents his anger on you by controlling you. He can control only you, not others. So he controls you.
Being firm and decisive in dealing with your egoistic husband is the only way out.
“I envy my friends who enjoy total freedom in their married life” my neighbor told me.
The poor thing was in complete mercy of her dominating husband and would talk to me only when he was away.
“I don’t know what to do. I think I will go mad if my husband keeps on behaving in such a controlling way” she sighed with frustration.
My neighbor was right in feeling suppressed in her married life.
How can she enjoy her married life when her husband ruled over her?
“Talk to him frankly about your hurt. Tell him that you do not like his behavior. The trick is to be patient. Do not expect him to change overnight.”
“Be confident and firm in saying no to his dominating demands” I advised her.
Soon her husband got transferred and I lost touch with her after that.
I was watching TV when the doorbell rang shrilly. I opened the door to find my neighbor smiling happily. Surprisingly it was her husband who dropped her.
She smiled at my stunned look.
“Well, he has changed. Don’t think I did it easily. There were times when I just wanted to walk away. I stayed back for the sake of my children. Years after reasoning and being patient has finally won the battle for me” she hugged me. I was very happy for her.
“My only regret is that he could have changed a little earlier so that I could have enjoyed my youth much better” she laughed.
Yes.
You need tons of patience in dealing with your egoistic husband.
How exactly do you handle your egoistic husband?
When your husband tries to interfere in each and every one of your personal wishes, you should be firm in saying you do not like it.
The message that you need your space should be conveyed to him authentically.
If you are submissive to his unreasonable demands, he gathers strength from your meekness and tries to take hold of your life.
Do not ask permission to fulfill your wishes. But inform him about it.
Never ever show your egoistic husband that you are unnerved by his dominance.
You should be confident and assertive. Men never mess up with a confident woman.
Conclusion
“True love is built on free will and free choice, not control and manipulation.” ― Ken Poirot
Married life survives on mutual trust and respect. You cannot love a person just because he is your husband.
You need your spacing to retain your individuality. You can never forgo your uniqueness. Your egoistic husband should realize it before it is too late.
Armaan Jain says
Nice and informative article
What happens when both the partners are egoistic?
They both have low self esteem?
And you have said the wife should not leave and should have patience, but today’s girls don’t have patience
You should also highlight this point
and make a part 2 of it
Mathi says
Armaan
You are true when you say today’s girls have no patience. But is the result of too much denied rights for a long time. I still insist that both should have patience. Both should not be egoistic and both should not have low self esteem.
Meenakshi says
Very good write up. I am in somewhat similar situation… will try to implement. Though I have been patient but still my husband’s dominance is increasing day by day. And he was not like this earlier…since few years I have seen him become too dominating.
Mansen says
There is no way out , it’s just patience never works . It just makes the husband worse
Kids are starting to have input because of this
I can be determined and handle the situation but it’s not worth it for the family
Kokila says
True… patience will not work out.. They will take advantage and become more dominant and kids learn this bad behavior at very tender age
Madiha says
Am having a huge egoistic husband, dominate taking over is some what okay at least I feel am living but along with he judge my character, he points me that am characterless women this makes die on spot but just because of him I can die I can’t decide my parents they have spend thier whole life for me just be with them in thier old age. But I love my husband I want to make him trust on me ,how to do this, if I complain about u judge n told me characterless I felt bad , but he will try to explain the reason it was your mistake so I just told , how to deal this husband
Mathi says
Hi Madiha,
Your husband is not being egoistic. He is being insensitive. Your husband has no right to say that you are characterless. It is a very mean comment about you. You should not let your husband get away from making such baseless comments about you. You should talk to your husband about your dislike in his attitude. Tell your husband that it takes two to make a marriage work.
You need not fight with your husband. But you should definitely give him your piece of mind. When you keep on pleading with your husband for his love and affection, he will continue to dominate you.
When you show your husband that you cannot be toyed along with, he will definitely think twice before demeaning you. It is your married life. Only you can make it work.