Do you know forgiveness in marriage makes your relationsip stable?
You are often so bitter and resentful about your spouse, that you do not want to forgive him\her.
When your spouse utters hurtful words against you during a fight, you take it too much to heart and would not dream of forgiving him\her.
What are the occasions in your relationship, that makes it impossible for you to forgive your spouse?
- When your spouse indulges in extra marital affairs.
- When he\she is indifferent to your emotional needs.
- When your spouse delibrately degrades you before others.
- When your spouse dominates and controls you.
These are some of the few situations in your married life, which makes you hate the behavior of your spouse. There are many more intolerable situations, you constantly face in your relationship.
You become hardened against your spouse, when you face frequent abuse from him\her. But your marriage cannot survive, when you harden your feelings against your spouse. You must forgive your spouse, if you want your marriage to work.
Do you know when there is no forgiveness in marriage, its repurcussions could have a devastating impact in your relationship?
Yes!
Your marriage cannot survive when there is no forgiving. It is as simple as that.
Here is why!
- Your unforgiving nature makes you feel hostile towards your spouse.
- So, there is no communication between you.
- When there is no communication between you and your spouse, indifference easily makes an entry into your relationship.
- When you are indifferent towards your spouse, the atmosphere at your home is very oppressive and unfriendly.
- When you cannot withstand the heated atmosphere in your relationship, you easily opt for divorce.
So, can you see how being unforgiving is also one of the main reasons for the spurt of divorce you see today?
Does this mean you should overlook everything your spouse does?
Of course not.
When your spouse does certain things, you find it impossible to forgive him\her.
- Physical abuse.
- Sexual abuse.
- Infidelity.
- Extramarital affair.
When your spouse commits these sort of relationship blunders, you find it impossible to forgive him\her.
These are actually marital crimes.
You are fully justified, when you confront your spouse about it.
But when you make much ado about the minor faults of your spouse, it makes your relationship stiflingly hostile. Many a time, you argue bitterly with your spouse, as if he\she was your enemy.
In your extreme anger, you covert your arguments into ego clashes.When there are frequent ego clashes between you, it is inevitable that your marriage totters towards failure.
Why are you so unforgiving towards your spouse?
It is strange, that you easily forgive your friends\colleagues\relatives. You often apologize to them, when you feel you were in the wrong.
But, this is not the case with your spouse. You find it very difficult to forgive him\her.
Do you know that your colleagues\relatives are just a part of the outer circle of your life?
You can survive without friends. But your spouse is your life partner, and all the more important. You are going to live with your spouse for 30 to 50 years.
Are you going to spend all these years with your spouse, harboring resentment against him\her?
If you do so, you will feel literally turn your married life into a furnace of anger and hatred.
Do you have vengeance against your children?
You readily forgive your children for all their mistakes. Your love for your children is that unconditional and spontaneous. But the same cannot be said about the love you have for your spouse.
Love between you is conditional and unconfirmed.
“You be good to me and I will be good to you. You be abusive and I too will be abusive.” This is the attitude you have towards your spouse.
- You do not forgive your spouse, when he\she argues with you.
- You are furious against your spouse, when he\she does not share your household chores.
- You feel cheated, when your spouse does not spend for you.
- You are wild with anger, when your spouse has diversified opinion, very different from yours.
When you become unforgiving for such mistakes of your spouse, you will find it near impossible to hold your marriage together.
You must understand, that a marriage without conflicts does not exist anywhere in this world. You and your spouse are from a different upbringing, and so there are bound to be fights about your diversified thoughts.
These differences are not indicators that your spouse does not love you, but just shows his\her individuality.
How forgiveness in marriage can be made easy?
- When you have arguments with your spouse, do not drag it for days. When your spouse apologizes, accept it immediately.
- After your spouse apologizes, forget your bitterness and behave normally with him\her.
- When you bring the atmosphere between you to normal, without rekindling your fights, your spouse will adore you for this.
Never try to justify your anger. When you feel justified, you will never forgive your spouse.
Words said in anger by your spouse have no real venom in it. So, do not construe twisted meaning into the angry words of your spouse. Always understand, that your spouse can never be your cloning. So, you must accept the diversified behavior of your spouse.
Give top priority to your love, and ignore your anger against him\her.
- Give your spouse a chance to say his\her viewpoint.
- Do not convert your fight into an ego issue.
When you are egoistic, you will feel that you are always right and your spouse is always wrong. So, you must immediately stop playing the accusing game, without listening to your spouse has to say to you.
CONCLUSION ABOUT FORGIVENESS IN MARRIAGE
“Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.” – Marianne Williamson
Your fights does not define your marriage. It is a temporary flash of anger. But your reactions to your arguments with your spouse, decides the compatibility quotient of your relationship.
When there is true love between you, forgiving becomes easy to you. But when your love is not emphatic, even a small tiff between you turns your relationship into a battlefield
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