When you indulge in destructive communication in your relationship, it will definitely destroy your married life.
The stability of your marriage, literally hinges on the way you communicate with your partner. When your communication with your partner is friendly and amicable, your relationship with him\her also turns friendly and amicable. When your interaction with your partner is caring and thoughtful, your married life also turns warm and caring.
On the contrary, when your communication with your partner is rude and abusive, your relationship also becomes abusive and intolerable. Indifferent, and apathetic interaction with your partner, transform your married life indifferent and hostile.
Can you see how the way you communicate with your partner, sets the mood of your relationship?
But sadly, most of you do not understand the importance of your communication tenor. Many a time, the words you utter to your partner are rude, abusive, and uncaring. Instead of communicating your love, you more than willingly open out your hidden anger and bitterness against your partner.
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Shall we now look at the 5 types of destructive communication in your relationship?
No 1. Type of destructive communication in your relationship – Blame shifting communication
You often indulge in blame-shifting, while communicating with your partner. Though you commit many mistakes in your relationship, you do not want to accept the blame.
Instead of owing up your mistakes, you coolly shift the blame on your partner to escape unscathed.
“It was you who started the argument.”
“We are facing this financial downfall, all because you are a spendthrift.”
“The problem we are now facing in our married life, is all because of you.”
You are more than adept in blaming your partner, for almost everything bad happening in your relationship. Even though, you might be on the fault, you will not agree to it. You easily escape the blame, by coolly shifting it on your partner.
When you continuously indulge in this sort of blame shifting, it infuriates your partner no end. Your partner feels bitter and resentful, when you act as though you can do no wrong, and that he\she can do nothing right.
This sort of miscommunication between you is pretty dangerous to your marriage.
No 2. Type of destructive communication in your relationship – The abusive communication
When your love for your partner becomes non-existent, you lose all interest in him\her. You want to hurt your partner at any cost, by showing him\her the intensity of your dislike for him\her. So, you utter hurtful words, with the deliberate intention of wounding your partner.
Whenever you interact with your partner, it is to blame him\her for the problems you are presently facing in your married life. The words you utter, are abusive, insolent and rude. You demean your partner in the worst possible manner, by degrading his\her character, behavior and way of doing things.
You throw things around to add volume to your abusive communication. You yell at the top of your voice, to insult your partner. When your communication with your partner is constantly abusive and derogatory, your marriage has no hope of surviving.
No 3. Type of destructive communication in your relationship – Giving the silent treatment
It is only natural, that when your partner communicates with you, he\she wants a reciprocal reply from you. Your partner feels that you are receptive to his\her feelings and emotions, only when you reply back to him\her.
But you would do nothing of this sort. When your love for your partner has stopped, your communication with him\her also stops. You plug your ears and clamp your lips to the interaction of your partner. Your partner might be pouring out his\her emotions to you, yearningly wishing that you would react by replying.
But you are hellbent in showing your partner, that you do not care about his\her thoughts, feelings and emotions. You do not reply to the interaction of your partner. Rather, you act as though you have gone deaf to the interaction of your partner. You look expressionless and deadpan, even when your partner is eagerly talking to you. Your wooden face clearly shows your partner, that he\she was not heard by you.
Your silent treatment, silently kills the emotions of your partner.
No 4. Type of destructive communication in your marriage – The self-justifying communication
Whenever you commit any relationship mistakes, you are not prepared to accept it. You are dead sure that you have done nothing wrong, and every mistake was committed by your partner.
So, you justify your actions. You brazenly tell your partner, that you did not make any mistakes. You self-proclaim that you are so duty conscious towards the family, that it is not in you to commit relationship blunders.
You reel out how much you are doing for the family, even if it meant forgoing your wishes and dreams. You also say, that it is you who is the adjusting and adapting one in your relationship, and that your partner is doing nothing for the family.
When you self-justify yourself by putting the blame on your partner, all hell breaks loose in your marriage.
No 5. Type of destructive communication in your relationship –Digging up old fights’ communication
You would not let the old fights that happened between many months ago to end. Whenever you have an argument with your partner, you bring the velocity of your old fight into your present one.
You burst forth with accusations of how your partner hurt you, long, long back. You repeat the hurting words your partner uttered, way long ago with uncanny remembrance, making him\her feel taken aback that you had not forgotten old fights.
When you dig old fights, it only digs a grave for your present married life.
Conclusion
It is strange that most of you do not communicate your love for your partner, but instantly communicate your dissent and anger against him\her. Unless communication between you is loving, you cannot hope for a happy married life.
When your communication with your partner does not display love, you cannot expect a cordial and friendly relationship with him\her. It will do your marriage a world of good, if only you realize that when your communication with your partner is destructive, it will also destroy all that is good in your relationship.
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