Unless you enjoy transparency in your relationship, you cannot really enjoy it.
Being secretive towards your spouse, is pretty dangerous to married life. When you are secretive, your spouse is all keyed up, wondering what you are up to. It is because when you hide your activities and plans from your life partner, you become more of a stranger to him\her.
When both become secretive towards each other, it affects your relationship in a rather bad way. You might forgive the secrecy of your friends\relatives. It is because you have no emotional bond with them, and your life is not in any way tied up with them.
But when you hide something from your spouse, he\she feels unhappy that you do not trust him\her enough to share your secrets. This is why transparency in your relationship means that much to you.
Do you like driving your car through a foggy road?
No.
You do not like it.
You hate driving, when you are unsure about what is happening around you. When the road is murky and unclear, you drive with apprehension and anxiety.
Likewise, when you are too secretive towards your spouse, he\she constantly feels doubtful and distrustful about you. When this is the scenario of your married life, both will not enjoy it a wee bit.
When you enjoy transparency in your relationship, it is like driving your car in a clear sunny day. You enjoy your driving, as everything around you are crystal clear.
When such type of transparency in your relationship exists between you, your spouse enjoys being married to you. Transparency in your relationship, means that much to your happiness. In fact, the satisfaction you enjoy in your married life, depends on the level of transparency you display towards your spouse.
When you are frank and open with your spouse, your marriage journey becomes enjoyable. Your married life also is a lot easier to live through. There is lot less tension and frustration between you and your spouse, when there is openness between you.
You must understand what lack of transparency does to your marriage, to really understand its importance.
When your spouse does everything secretively, you are unsure about the status of your relationship. When you are secretive towards your spouse, he\she is unsure about the status of your love.
- When you talk in a hushed tone in the mobile, your spouse becomes doubtful and worried about what you are up to.
- When you are constantly late from work without giving your spouse any valid reasons, he\she become doubtful about what is happening behind his\her back.
- When you keep your spouse in the dark about your financial dealings, he\she gets keyed up.
When you keep your spouse constantly doubtful by being secretive, it spells danger to your marriage. Your relationship with your spouse will suffer, when you do not take him\her into confidence, and do everything behind his\her back.
This is not the way to live through your married life. Your relationship with your spouse should be as transparent as a mirror. There should be no unnecessary doubts and suspicion lurking in your relationship.
You owe an explanation to your spouse, and he or she owes an explanation to you. Explaining to your spouse about everything you do, does not make you a lesser person. In fact, it shows how much you care for your spouse by being transparent in your interaction with him\her.
It does not demean you in any way, when you clarify to your spouse any misgivings, he\she might have about your activities. There are times when you might be late from your work due to some valid reasons. You should inform about it to your spouse, so that he\she does not feel uneasy about you coming home late. Informing your spouse about your activities, is an easy way to clear away clouds of doubts from your married life.
Let us suppose your mobile rings when you are with your spouse.
When you pick up your call and talk in a normal tone, your spouse does not feel suspicious about it. But when you immediately move away from him\her and speak in a hushed and secretive tone for a long time, it makes your spouse doubtful and wary. If you do not give any explanation about the person with whom you were having such a lengthy conversation, it makes your spouse have all sorts of doubts and misgivings about you.
Secrecy in money matters, is yet another lack of transparency in your relationship that you should avoid. When you do not explain to your spouse about your money dealings and commitments, it causes bitterness and resentment in your relationship.
You must confess about your duty of financially helping your parents to your spouse. Helping your parents financially is your prerogative, and your spouse has no right to interfere into it. When you inform your spouse about it, it makes it a lot easier to you.
Do not have stealthy friendship with your friends\colleagues of the opposite sex, about whom your spouse does not know. You should always maintain a dignified distance from the opposite sex. Spending out- of- work- time with your colleagues\friends of the opposite sex, without the knowledge of your spouse is a big no. Such secretive relationships do irrevocable damage to your marriage.
Being transparent towards your spouse, does not in any way pluck your right to privacy from you.
Having your own private moments does not mean you are being secretive towards your spouse. You must understand, that privacy is entirely different from secrecy. Secrecy is hiding whatever you do from your spouse, and keeping him\her in the dark about your activities. But privacy is space for yourself and your spouse. You drastically need your private moments to be what you really are, at least for some time.
Conclusion
It is always better to have frank discussion with your spouse, than make your own decision without informing him\her. When you are secretive, your spouse too hides everything about him\her from you.
Such a married life is always full of stress and tension. When your relationship with your spouse is frank and honest, you will enjoy the sense of goodness it gives you.
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