Have you ever analyzed whether you have the qualities your husband expects from you?
Very sad, indeed.
‘My husband no longer loves me’ Selvi, my friend’s daughter was literally in tears.
‘Why do you doubt his love?’ I was puzzled by her accusation.
‘I keep insisting that he spend his free time with me. But he is glued to the TV when at home. He does not interact with me. I have to compel him to take me out and he does it with a morose face’ Selvi stated indignantly.
‘There lies your mistake. Why do you compel him to spend all his free time with you? He will willingly spend time with you if you have the qualities your husband expects from you’ my answer made her confused.
‘What expectations can he have about me, aunty?’
‘Well, when you have expectations about him why can’t your husband have some’ I smiled at her.
Are you like my friend’s daughter, not knowing about the qualities your husband expects from you?
Your husband yearns for some special qualities from you. If you fulfill his expectations he become the queen of his life.
You are all at seas not knowing about the qualities your husband expects from you, aren’t you?
Your newly found financial independence makes you more focused on your rights. This is the reason why your married life is very chaotic and argumentative.
You cannot have the love of your husband just like that.
‘A wife is a friend first, a lover second and third and probably most important, a maid’- Jarrod Kintz
Your husband seeks certain qualities from you to make him feel satisfied with his marriage. He is no longer smitten by your beauty after marriage. He now loves your inner beauty more than your physical beauty.
Here goes the qualities your husband expects from you.
1. Care for him
Your husband wants you to care for him as his mother did. You argue that you are very tired from work and do not have the energy to show your concern for him.
‘I cook for him and I look after the home and children. What more does he want?’ you might well contend.
This is the routine duty of all wives. Do you know what care means in his dictionary?
- He does not want your tantrums and yearns for relaxation at home.
- He wants you to lift his sagging energy.
- He wants to unwind at home.
- He does not want you to command him.
- He does not want the continuation of work tension to continue at home also.
2. He likes respect
You are a modern woman and feel that your husband cannot expect you to be his subordinate. Very true. You are indeed equal to your husband.
But does that mean you can ignore his male world and make him feel completely overshadowed by you?
He wants respect from you more than anything else.
- He adores you when you do not let him down before others.
- He likes you when you do not spend hours in the mobile when he is at home as if he does not exist.
- He wants you to talk to him in a soft voice.
- He wants you to consult him in all family decisions.
- He wants your attention when he returns tired from work.
- He loves you when you do not yell back at his angry words.
Your husband is egoistic by nature and likes to be treated as the head of the family. When you respect him, he finds you irresistible.
He does not want you to talk ‘at’ him, but talk ‘with’ him. It makes him feel comfortable to communicate with you.
3. A good sense of humor
Do you get keyed up if your husband teases you?
Are you a person who is always prone to anger?
Do you react with seriousness to every situation in the family?
Then your husband will not feel at ease with you. When you laugh at yourself and make the atmosphere at home sunny and bright, your husband feels that you are a wonderful girl.
You laugh at your drawbacks.
You laugh at his jokes.
You enjoy when he teases you.
You do not make a rough weather of every situation at home.
This is one of the qualities your husband expects from you.
Your husband wants humor at home and as a man he is bound to tease you. If you see red at his teasing words he keeps his lips sealed tightly against laughter.
You do not take offense at the teasing of your friends, do you?
So do not get mad at his innocuous jokes. Enjoy it.
4. Confidence in handling the family.
Do you want your husband to do everything for you?
Do you lack the confidence to look after the family?
Your husband feels shackled.
Your husband does not like it when you depend on him to take you wherever you want to. It makes him feel more of a driver.
When you have the capacity to look after the needs of the family in a confident way, he likes you. Your husband does not like to be burdened with family duties as he does not have the competence to handle it.
5. Giving him privacy.
Do you cling to your husband in the name of love?
Do you want him to be with you 24\7?
He feels imprisoned and hates it. When he you give him freedom to spend time with his family\ friends he adores you. But never keep verifying his whereabouts. He does not like it.
Your husband needs his own private zone. When you breathe down his neck and demand all his time, he will retort back in resentment.
6. You are emotionally stable
Do you buckle under the pressure of family issues?
If you do so, your husband is going to feel anxious. When you do not turn hysterical and calmly take every family problems in your stride, your husband respects your assertiveness.
You husband literally basks in the shadow of your emotional steadiness.
7. You respect his family
Your husband loves his family and expect you to respect them.
But do you respect his family?
You treat them as some sort of an enemy and backbite about them to your husband. The poor man is hurt when lash out against his parents and siblings. But he dare not open his mouth.
But if you get along fine with his family he feels happy and pleased. This makes him respect your family. This mutual respect is very important for a happy relationship.
8. You do not nag
Do you nag your husband?
Nagging puts off your husband in a real bad way. When you keep pointing your fingers at his faults and always make him the culprit, he feels unhappy in his relationship.
Imagine his plight when you shrill at him and list out his drawbacks.
The poor man feels he has married a shrew.
Is he doing something which you do not like?
Do not nag him as he will not listen. Tell him in a soft voice that he is wrong and leave it at that. Do not start listing out his mistakes. When you are reasonable you can bet he will listen to you.
9. You always look presentable.
Taking care of yourself is one way of showing your love.
How do you go for your work?
Are you shabbily dressed?
No, you are not. You dress with care when you go for work. You know it is an essential quality for your success in work.
Do the same when at home.
Never be sweaty and grimy when your husband returns from work.
He hates your disheveled appearance. When you are looking gorgeous his eyes notices and admires you.
10. You always appreciate him!
Your husband wants you to appreciate him.
He too contributes his share of love, money and care for the family, doesn’t he?
But you overlook his contribution making him feel unappreciated and unloved.
Did he pay the pending bills promptly?
- Appreciate him.
Did he look after the children when you were at work?
- Appreciate him.
Did he get you a tiny wee bit of a gift?
- Make it appear as though he has got you a valuable gift. It makes him feel heady with love for you.
Can you see how easy the qualities your husband expects are?
When his expectations are fulfilled he becomes a satisfied husband. A satisfied husband makes a heavenly husband. You easily conquer his attention.