Unless you stop the blame game in your marriage, you cannot enjoy it.
But sadly, most of you indulge in blaming each other, for your relationship issues, money problems, and family troubles. You do not hold yourself responsible in any of your relationship issues, as you are dead sure that your partner is behind everything wrong happening between you.
- When there is money problem in your family, you blame your partner of being a spend thrift.
- When there is an argument between you, you blame your partner as instigating it.
- When your children misbehave, you accuse your partner for bad parenting.
- You single out your partner, to accuse him\her as the sole reason behind any of your family troubles.
When such continuous blaming happens in your relationship, it becomes rather tough to live through it. You mostly blame your partner, to prove yourself to be right and he\she to be in the wrong. There are times, you blame your partner as a tit-for-tat, for the hurt inflicted he\she inflicted on you. You also blame your partner, because you are too egoistic to accept your mistakes.
When you act accusing, you are hellbent to prove yourself right, and your partner wrong. You do not realize, that when you are too intent on blaming your partner, you are literally pushing your relationship to the brink of failure.
It is because, when you are too accusing and blaming, your partner drifts away from you in anger and disappointment. Your partner, finds it impossible to tolerate the heat emanating from the accusations you constantly throw at him\her.
You must understand that you will achieve nothing by blaming your partner. In fact, when you continue to accuse your partner, he\she will turn resentful and bitter against you. Your partner is not your enemy, that you should derive sadistic pleasure by accusing him\her.
This is the reason you should instantly stop the blame game in your marriage.
Shall we look at the 6 intelligent techniques to go about it?
No 1. Intelligent technique to stop the blame game in your marriage is accepting your mistakes
You well know, that your partner is not the only one who commits mistakes. You too can be blamed for committing many relationship blunders. One day you will be in the fault, and another day, your partner will be in the fault. It is a normal happening in any marriage.
You might have spurted out in anger against your partner, for no fault of his\her. Your anger might be due to your work-related pressures, or any outside pressures and nothing to do with your partner.
You should accept your mistake, and apologize to your partner for your anger. Apologizing to your partner, does not in any way make you lose your self-esteem. In fact, by saying sorry, you are only displaying your intense love for your partner.
No 2. Intelligent technique to stop the blame game in your relationship is looking from the viewpoint of your partner
Mostly, blaming happens when you look at your relationship problems from your angle, and your partner looks at it from his\her angle. When you are concentrated only on your way of thinking, whatever your partner does will look wrong to you.
Anger and arguments that crop up between you has a dual story, one story from your side and another story from the side of your partner. So, you must not be judgmental about the anger and behavior of your partner.
Your partner might be undergoing immense mental pressures, and might not confess about it to you. When your partner feels overwhelmed with the intensity of his\her problems, he\she might have spurted out in anger against you.
The anger of your partner is nothing to do with you, but everything to do with his\her intense mental pressures. When you look at the angry outburst of your partner from his\ her angle, you will under that his\her anger was just situational, and was not at all a relationship issue.
No 3. Intelligent technique to stop the blame game in your marriage is by listening
Unless you listen to your partner, you will not understand his\her stand. You will be assuming everything from you angle, and your partner will not get a chance to voice out his\her grievances.
Listening to your partner is an excellent relationship technique, as it magically removes any relationship blockages between you.
No 4. Intelligent technique to stop the blame game in your marriage is not taking everything personally
When your partner is angry with you, you take it too personally. You assume, that the heated words uttered by your partner is a direct attack on you.
You construe many in-between-meaning in the most innocuous words spoken by your partner. This a mistake you should avoid in your relationship. When you stop taking every tense scenario happening between you personally, half your relationship problems will disappear.
No 5. Intelligent technique to stop the blame game in your marriage is let things pass
Anger and arguments are common feature in any marriage. So, do not get emotional about your relationship problems.
Mild arguments, and mild misunderstanding are not worth accusing your partner. You must understand, that a flawless partner does not exist anywhere in this world.
When you overlook the minor drawbacks of your partner, you will not be too accusing and too blaming.
No 6. Intelligent technique to stop the blame game in your marriage is forgoing your expectations
You cannot thrust your expectations on your partner, and expect him or her to replicate it. Your partner will be different from you, and you will be different from him\her.
Unless you stop expecting your desires to be fulfilled by your partner, you will continue to be accusing and blaming.
Conclusion
You must understand that no marriage is perfect and no partner is perfect, anywhere in this world. You too are not perfect. When you accept the imperfections of your partner as normal, you will not convert your differences into a blaming game between you.
If you just realize that you and your partner are very human and so prone to mistakes, you will not convert his\her faults into a big issue. When you stop accusing your partner, it transforms your relationship, from the accusing to the enjoying.
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