What exactly is a troubled marriage?
A compatible marriage gives you happiness, whereas a troubled marriage gives you only immense stress and fatigued tension.
In a troubled marriage, you drift away from your spouse so much so that you do not see eye to eye in anything.
You cease to communicate with each other that only silence rules your home. You become indifferent to your spouse that you are not emotionally supportive to him\her.
What are the warning signs that your troubled marriage?
You and your spouse cannot stand each other after a few years of marriage.
It is true that you marry your spouse out of the intense love you had for him\her.
But as years go by, your relationship with your spouse settles down to a boring routine. There is nothing in your marriage you feel excited about. You become so indifferent towards your spouse that you do nothing to make your relationship work.
This is where the trouble for your marriage begins.
Unless you nurture your relationship, your marriage cannot enjoy stability and longevity.
No marriage survives on its own. It is you who must make it last by embedding many qualities into your marriage.
You must be committed.
You must be tolerant and patient towards the minor faults of your spouse.
You must be adjusting towards the minor differences of opinion you have with your spouse.
You must respect the views of your spouse.
You must be appreciative.
You must be protective towards your spouse so that no one dares to demean him\her.
You must keep on communicating with your spouse so that you understand each other better.
But can you say with confidence that your marriage has all these essential qualities?
You cannot.
Here are the emphatic signs of your troubled marriage.
1. You have nothing to talk
Before marriage, you had so much to talk with your spouse.
But as years go by, you seem to have nothing to talk with your spouse. If at all you interact with your spouse, it is regarding some important family issues. These topics are always argumentative and heated.
You find it easy to spend your time at home without interacting with your spouse.
You watch TV without saying a word to your spouse.
“Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship is conversation” – Oscar Wilde
When there is no communication between you, you lose sight of the love you had for each other.
A clear sign of your troubled marriage.
2. You do not like coming home
When you feel comfortable and relaxed in your relationship with your spouse, you want to rush home after your work.
You long to be with your spouse and children as they are your unwinding domain.
But when your marriage is sailing in troubled waters, you hate to be home.
You quote your work and stay back in your workplace until very late.
When you come home, you spend your time alone without interacting with your spouse.
3. You deliberately hurt the feeling of your spouse
When love is lost between you, you no longer care for the sensitivity of your spouse.
You insult your spouse to vent your anger and frustration against her\him.
You utter demeaning words that hurt the self-respect of your spouse.
But you do not feel remorse for the hurt you inflict on your spouse. You feel sadistically happy to have made your spouse unhappy.
Can you see how the rift between you has widened a little too much?
4. You become secretive
You never inform your spouse about your whereabouts.
You talk in the mobile for a long time without informing your spouse whom you were talking to.
You become secretive about the money you earn.
You change the password of your social media accounts.
Total secrecy shrouds your relationship, that your spouse feels completely isolated from you.
5. Your house looks uncared for
Your home speaks volumes of your love when it has the well cared look. A neat and tidy home is a sign of the love you have for your spouse and family.
But when you fall out of love with your spouse, your house bears signs of your troubled marriage.
You keep your home like a pigsty as you do not feel belonged to your spouse.
Yes!
When you ignore your home, it is a silent indicator of your marriage becoming stale.
6. You avoid physical contact
You avoid sex with your spouse.
You shift to another room to avoid any physical contact with him\her.
You do not give any explanations to your spouse as you are not bothered about his\her feelings.
A sure sign of your troubled marriage.
7. Your arguments turn into bitter fights
It is very normal for you to have arguments with your spouse. It happens in all marriages.
But it is abnormal to fight for everything and anything. When there is no love between you, your arguments turn into bitter fights.
You utter demeaning words with the sole intention of hurting your spouse. You verbally and physically abuse your spouse and feel no regret in doing so.
8. There is no trust
There is absolutely no trust in your marriage.
When trust is lost, all hopes of reviving your marriage is also lost.
Implicit trust is very essential in making your marriage withstand the ups and downs of your relationship.
Both must trust, that you are loyal towards each other,
When there is no trust between you, it simply means that your marriage is not working as it should.
9. You do not want to share your money
Financial commitments must always be met together.
In your troubled marriage, the money you earn becomes “my money.” Your selfish attitude spells danger to your marriage.
You fight bitterly with your spouse about the allocation of money towards the financial commitments your family.
Gradually, you stop contributing for the family as you become totally detached from it.
10. You have extra marital flings
When you step outside the marriage zone to seek another relationship, you spell doom to your marriage. Nothing hurts a marriage as much as an extramarital affair.
The damage it does to your marriage is mind blowing.
When you love your spouse, you would never dream of cheating him\her. But when all love is lost between you, you easily cross the border.
Conclusion
‘You can never be happily married to another until you get a divorce from yourself. Successful marriage demands a certain death of self’- Jerry McCant
Can you see the devastating signs of your troubled marriage?
Sort out the issues between you, as soon as you detect the early signals of troubles in your marriage.
But if you ignore the tell-tale signals of your failing marriage, you cannot hope to retrieve the old love back into your relationship.
No third person can help your marriage.
It is you who should work towards the success of your marriage. The two persons who have the key to the success of your marriage is you and your spouse.
I have started a new Youtube channel “Marriage Realities.”
It is a comprehensive relationship channel dealing with all sorts of issues married couples face.
Subscribe to my channel to understand your marriage in a new light.
Here is the link to “Marriage Realities.”
Leave a Reply