Are you married to a yelling and screaming husband?
The crude behavior of your husband makes you cringe with shame and humiliation.
The temperamental tantrums of your husband is a clear sign of his immaturity. A normal husband does not yell and scream at his wife. Only a person who does not have any niceties of life can humiliate his wife in such an abusive manner.
Of course, a fighting and arguing husband is normal and common in most marriages. But a yelling and screaming husband is uncommon.
Why does your husband yell and scream, instead of being reasonably angry?
Your yelling and screaming husband clearly shows that he chips under the pressures of life. He does not have the mental strength to face his problems. So, your husband vents all his frustrations and disappointments on you.
You literally become his punching bag. You are tossed around as if you were a toy by your selfish husband.
You are all at seas not knowing how to handle your yelling and screaming husband, aren’t you?
When your husband shows his immaturity by yelling and screaming, you should never accept it.
Why does a child yell and scream at the top of his voice?
When a child is denied something, he shows his anger by yelling and screaming. It is because a small child does not have control over his emotions. You accept such behavior of your child only during his childhood days.
But as your child grows up, he ceases to scream and yell as he now becomes mature and mellow. This is the normal evalution of a normal human being.
But your yelling and screaming husband never matures and evolves.
- Your husband uses expletives to abuse you.
- He insults your parents when they visit you.
- Your husband yells at the childishness of your children. He does not have patience for them. And your children hate him.
- He thrusts his work related tension on you.
- Your husband is not responsible. So, when the situation insists on his responsibility he yells and screams to avoid getting involved.
- He cannot handle pressures in life in a normal way.
You feel that you are unlucky to have married a yelling and screaming husband, aren’t you?
You accept the fact that anger and arguments are part and parcel of married life. You also realize that your husband cannot always be smiling and humorous.
This is the reason you overlook when your husband feels angered and irritated at you. You realize that it is a part of the marriage package.
But there are certain never-to-be-ignored rules and regulations for a good marriage. Unless these rules are followed, there can be no happiness in your married life.
- There should be spacing.
- There should be mutual respect between you.
- There should be enough independence.
- There should be emotional support.
- There should be trust.
These are some of the basic etiquette of a good marriage. When you are married to a yelling and screaming husband, all these good things of marriage is denied to you.
Should you accept the abuse of your husband as a part of your married life?
No.
Never ever do it.
When you are tolerant and patient towards his misbehavior, your marriage becomes abusive, nightmarish, and dreadful to live through.
Are you wondering about the ways to deal with your yelling and screaming husband?
Here goes!
It is normal when your husband lets off some steam by being angry with you when he is facing work related tension.
But you can accept his anger only when it is reasonable. But your husband must also understand that he cannot thrust his tension on you by being abusive.
What should you do if your husband yells and screams at you in full public view?
You literally cringe inside in shame and embarrassment.
Remember one thing. Open display of abuse from your husband will be looked down by others. Not a soul will support him. Their support will always be with you.
So, don’t feel that you have been disgraced.
Do not cry and create a scene. Move away from the place. Don’t look back to see whether your husband is following you. Take a cab and return home.
When you are back home, it is natural that you want to give your husband tit for tat. That much was your shame.
But you should control yourself. Do not stoop to his low level of displaying anger. Do not yell and scream at him.
Do not talk to your husband unless he apologizes.
Keep aloof from your husband to show him that he cannot toy along with you.
When you shout and yell back at him, your relationship becomes very abusive and offensive. Your children are terrified.
Maintain a dignified silence to show your husband that you are mature and mellow, unlike his immature self.
Finally, the shame is on him. When your husband realizes that you will not budge from your stand, he stands alone.
Never behave slavishly with your husband with a motive of showing that you are a loving and obedient wife. If you do so, you will ever be dominated and abused by your husband.
When your husband abuses you in the privacy of your home, argue back to put him in his place.
Yes!
Your yelling and screaming husband must be shown that you would not tolerate such an ugly behavior from him.
You can also freeze your husband by your indifferent silence to his temperamental tantrums. You can go to another room to show him that his anger does not affect you.
Your husband cannot yell and scream at the wall, can he?
He soon loses his steam.
Your husband might also take upon physical abuse as a powerful tool..
Never ever allow this sort of behavior from your husband.
Your husband should be shown his place when he is verbally abusive. Hurting words is unpleasant and intolerable to you. Physical abuse and verbal abuse should never be tolerated by you.
Your husband can be angry with you. He can argue with you to put forth his viewpoint. But he has no rights to yell and scream at you.
When your husband uses abusive words, it is as bad as physically injuring you. You feel terribly hurt at his audacity.
You inwardly curse him for the shame he inflicts on you.
Draw a clear line. Set your boundaries. Show your immature husband that there is a limit to your patience. And that you too will retaliate.
What should you do to deal with the abusive behavior of your husband?
- Do not allow your husband to abuse you with vulgar words.
- He should be shown that you will not take his abuse lightly.
- If he physically assaults you, you should immediately get out of the house.
- Become mentally strong. You need guts to deal with your husband’s immaturity.
- Don’t cry and show your husband that he has the power to make you sad.
CONCLUSION
Your husband should understand that you too have feelings and you too have work related tension and stress.
Your husband cannot go on abusing you, thinking that he can get away with it. You might adjust for the sake of your children, but not for long.
When your husband makes your married life abusive and offensive, you want to break free of him. It is time your husband rectifies his behavior. Otherwise, he will definitely repent his lost marriage.
Shani says
My husband screams at me and swears if i dont do as he instructs me,i have two amazing kids and i love him dearly.he was not always this way could it be me that brings this out of him?..because he say i do .i feel shallow and worthless when he does this too me .i feel he respects any other person or women better than me .
G. Benyue says
No disrespect but I wasn’t surprised by your photo.
Stop telling women to eat abuse.
He yells at you, you don’t save his face, you don’t spare the children you yell back. Get a bullhorn to be heard if need be.
Stop protecting abusers by saving family face.
You think they don’t expect that. Count on it. What should they fear? Not a damn thing. So little girls learn to yell back, why is that a bad thing? Tell them to stand their ground and yell back.
Etelka says
I really related with this article and I need help. Do you or anyone know of affordable/free counselling? I can’t bring myself to pay $150 a session just to get some non biased feedback. My marriage is falling apart and I have tried everything I can to help him communicate more maturely but my 8 years of effort has been a huge fail by the looks of things. Help!
Mathi says
You can contact me through my email mathisurendran@gmail.com
Judy Rivers says
Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I’ve inwardly known this for quite some time, and am strong enough to know IT’S NOT ME. My flaw has been to allow him to get away with it. Your wise words gave me just the validation I needed.
HE’S NOT YELLING NOT ANYMORE.
And he’s not dead either! 😇