There are many mistakes you should avoid in your marriage, if you want to save it from failing miserably.
Everyone wants a happy married life. There is no doubt about it. But the bitter truth is, a blissful and content married life has become a rarity in today’s modern society. When you marry your partner, you intensely love him\her. But after a few years of marriage, your relationship witnesses unreasonable conflicts between you.
You often let your relationship conflicts take root, without trying to nip it in the bud. You make much ado about the minor mistakes of your partner, and feel that you had married a wrong person, not at all suited to you. When you continuously make relationship mistakes, you pitiably lose your marriage.
Who is in the wrong, behind your failed marriage?
Is it you, or your partner?
In reality, both are in the wrong. Both make needless relationship mistakes, without really understanding the negative impact it will have in your married life. During your love days, you were very careful not to do anything that will jeopardize your marriage in any manner. But after marriage, your relationship with your partner takes a volte face. You no longer care about the feelings of your partner, and commit many relationship blunders which eventually destroy your marriage.
What are the mistakes you must avoid to save your marriage from failing miserably?
No 1. Topmost of mistakes you should avoid in your marriage – Physical and verbal abuse
Before marriage, you never in your dreams want to hurt your partner. You are that caring and loving towards him\her. But after marriage, the love you had for each other soon loses its sheen. You no longer display unconditional love towards your partner.
You get so used to your partner, that you go all out to show your indifference towards him\her. When your indifference gets out of hand, you find it easy to insult your partner with abusive words. Your abusive behavior makes your partner taken aback, as he\she never knew that you had such a negative side to your character.
You derive sadistic pleasure by abusing your partner. There are times your abuse oversteps its limits, and becomes physical abuse also. When there is frequent physical and verbal abuse in your married life, love cannot exist between you. When love no longer exists between you, there can be no happiness. Abusing each other, will do your marriage no good.
The reason for abusing your partner might be varied and different, but the aftermath of abuse is always the same. Your relationship experiences sadness and unhappiness all the way. You should show mutual respect towards each other. When there is respect between you, there can be no abuse.
No 2. Mistakes you should avoid in your marriage – Mental and physical aloofness
You think living in the same house, defines your marriage as perfect.
No.
You are wrong, if you think so.
You might live in the same house, but when you are mentally apart from each other, your marriage does not feel happy to you. When you do not care about the emotions of your partner, you feel alienated from his\her problems. You act so mentally aloof from your partner, that he\she feels crushed by your emotional indifference.
The problems of your partner do not affect you in any way. As you feel poles apart from your partner, you do not care about his\her emotions. You do not care about your financial responsibilities towards your family.
When you are indifferent towards the financial needs of your family, it causes incredible mental torture in your partner. You do not sort out your relationship conflicts, and let it take root. You are not protective towards your partner, neither are you appreciative.
With tiredness and stress taking toll of your body, there is no physical intimacy between you. You sleep in the same bed with your partner, but without being sexually active. When sex bids goodbye from your marriage, your relationship becomes totally aloof and distant.
No 3. Mistakes to avoid in your marriage – Lack of frankness or transparency
Secrecy can exist between you and other people, but not with your life partner. When there is too much secrecy between you, you become more like strangers, with no emotional connection between you.
When you hide your activities from your partner, needless suspicion makes entry into your married life. When doubts rule roost in your relationship, trust between you makes an exit. When there is no trust between you, you feel as though your relationship with your partner is unsure, doubtful and untrustworthy.
When there is true love between you, you do not feel like hiding anything from your partner. When you commit a mistake, you let your partner know about it. When you have problems, you look upon your partner for support. When there is such frankness in your relationship, everything between you is open and revealing. An open and frank relationship means a lot to your marriage.
No 4. Mistakes you should avoid in your marriage Ego clashes
When you are egoistic, you clash with your partner as though he\she was you enemy. You are hellbent to prove, that you are always right, and your spouse is always wrong. Though you are in the same team, you fight with your partner as though he\she belonged to the opposite team.
When you earn more than your spouse, you feel superior to him\her. You feel egoistic to share the household chores of your partner. When you have arguments, you lose your temper and words that hurt your spouse come gushing from you. Even though you know that you were in the wrong, your ego will not allow you to apologize to your partner.
When ego clashes exist in your relationship, there is absolutely no hope for your marriage to survive. You should adjust with your partner, if you want to make your relationship feel happy to you. When you earn more than your spouse, it is good for the family, and not a cause for ego clashes between you. If you hurt your spouse intentionally or unintentionally, you must instantly apologize to take the sting out of the resentment your partner is feeling against you.
No 5. Mistake you should avoid in your marriage – Infidelity – having roving eyes and lusting mind
Infidelity kills your marriage. Extra marital fling is always physical and fleeting. When you are satiated with your sexual urge, you will feel nothing but shamefulness. But when you realize your mistakes, the damage to your marriage has already been done.
When you were in love, you had eyes only for your partner. But after marriage, your eyes graze at other more beautiful pastures, not knowing that your partner will hate you when he\she comes to know about your cheating. When you cross the border to cheat your partner, nothing can save your marriage from failing.
CONCLUSION
“Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years”- Simone Signoret
Your married life is all about commitment and love. When you fulfill your relationship responsibilities, it brings a network of emotional security and emotional connection into your married life.
Wine gets better with years. Your marriage also gets better with years. But only when you allow your love become mellow and strong. When you do so, your relationship turns into a beautiful co-existence between you.
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