In-laws – the word itself sends shivers down your spine, doesn’t it?
Mother-in –law, father-in-law, brother-in-law and sister-in-law are not actually your family. But they become part of your family after your marriage.
When you marry your spouse, you marry his\her family also. Your in-laws become part of your life. Though they do not directly influence your married life, they definitely decide the happiness quotient in your relationship.
You never like your in-laws, do you?
- You never feel belonged to them.
- You feel that they are too intruding and interfering.
- You feel that they destroy the peace in your married life.
- You feel they emotionally blackmail your spouse.
- You feel they are too snooping and meddlesome.
- You also feel they are leaching your spouse off his\her money.
Does this mean all in-laws are like this?
There are many who know their boundary and stay within their limits. You enjoy a good relationship with them.
But sadly such in-laws are far and rare.
Why are in-laws intolerable and boring? – Are they interfering intruders?
You fight with your spouse about your in-laws often, don’t you?
Why is it so?
Your roots are always with your family. When a new family enters into your life you do not feel the emotional bond you enjoyed with your parents and siblings.
You also feel the vast difference in the selfless love your parents showered on you and the demanding behavior of your in-laws. This makes you feel emotional towards your family. And you turn aggressive and hostile towards your in-laws. You fume at their audacity to comment about you and your family.
You feel you owe your love and loyalty towards your spouse alone. You think his\her family very alien to you.
Top mistakes you make towards your in-laws
- You never think of them as your family.
- You keep comparing them with your parents.
- You never make any efforts to understand them.
- You never set your boundaries.
How to have good relationship with them?
- Understand that they can never replace your parents.
- Have enough spacing.
- Show them good hospitality when they visit you.
- Never have any expectations about them.
Top mistakes in-laws make
- They never accept the fact that you have become more important in the life of their son\daughter.
- They feel they have more rights than you – the worst mistake they make.
- They try to dominate you.
- They are forever comparing and complaining.
- They never know their limits.
How can in-laws have a good relationship with you?
- They should step away from the life of their son\daughter.
- They should know their limits.
- They should refrain from advising unless it is sought.
- They should look the other way when you have tiff with your spouse -you can resolve it among yourself.
- They should never pass unnecessary comments.
It creates unnecessary hostility and enmity.
It is always better to have enough spacing and enjoy good relationship with your in-laws. Otherwise you clash and fight with them as if they were your enemies. And the one to suffer is your helpless spouse.