Do you know that there are different types of emotional abuse in your marriage?
You often feel that verbal and physical abuse are the only kind of abuses you experience in your marriage.
No!
There are many more destructive abuses you face in your day to day relationship with your spouse.
Marriage is a relationship that needs certain niceties for you to enjoy it.
- You need mutual respect.
- You need good communication.
- You need to feel loved and cared.
- You need the right to live your life as you want to.
- You need your individuality to be intact.
Without these niceties, your married life could be a nerve-wracking experience to you.
But not all are lucky to enjoy the basic niceties due to you in your married life. Unknown to you, you face many types of emotional abuse in your marriage.
When you are consistently abused by your spouse, you feel very unhappy in your relationship.
Here are the unthinkable types of emotional abuse in your marriage.
1. The silent treatment
When you are enjoying a good married life, you feel free to communicate with your spouse. When your relationship with your spouse is compatible, you talk about everything under the sky with him\her without feeling apprehensive.
When there are relationship issues between you, you easily sort it out with your spouse without the fear of being rebuked.
The compatibility you enjoy with your spouse makes you relaxed and comfortable in your relationship. And your spouse is very interactive with you.
But when you are in an abusive relationship, your spouse abuses in a very subtle manner.
Your spouse uses the most formidable type of emotional abuse in marriage.
Your spouse metes out the silent treatment towards you. It is a lethal way of abusing you.
Your spouse shows his\her dissent with you by being silent and withdrawn from you. Though your spouse does not utter abusive words, his\her actions is distant and aloof towards you.
You might talk your heart out to your spouse, but he\she clamps his\her lips in a nerve-wracking silence.
Your spouse behaves as though he\she never owes you an explanation for anything.
Your spouse keeps silent to all sort of communication from you.
You might be undergoing tremendous stress. But your spouse scarcely consoles you.
By giving you the silent treatment, your spouse derisively shows his\her lack of love towards you.
2. Being accusing
Do you know the most dreadful type of the emotional abuse in your marriage?
Your spouse accuses you as the reason behind every problem you face in your married life.
Your spouse never feels that he\she could be in the wrong also.
Your spouse never holds him\herself responsible behind the financial and relationship troubles your marriage consistently faces.
He\she blames you to be the sole reasonable behind it.
If it is a financial problem, you are the reason behind it.
If it is a relationship issue between you, it has got to be you.
You feel edgy and irritated when your spouse holds himself\herself away from faults by pointing accusing fingers at you.
3. Being demeaning
You have all the right to demand respect from your spouse. He\she owes it to you.
But when you are in an abusive relationship, your spouse uses demeaning words against you.
Your spouse utters harsh words against you before others with the sole intention of demeaning you.
Your spouse ridicules your appearance, your ability and your talent as if you are no good.
This sort of emotional abuse in your marriage makes you feel that you are not valued by your spouse.
4. Comparing you with others
No one likes to be compared to others. Every one of you feel you are unique in your own way.
But your spouse indulges in comparing you with others with the sadistic intention of making you feel that you are not good enough.
Your spouse compares your appearance with that of others.
He\she compares your talent with others.
Your spouse compares your way of doing things with others.
The emotionally abusive way of your spouse comparing you in a lesser light makes your nerves shoot up in frustrated anger at the injustice of it.
5. Being aloof and unhelpful
When your spouse does not share family responsibilities with you, you feel overburdened and overloaded with duties.
Marriage is a huge responsibility. You have tons of work load. It might be household chores, looking after the children or even dealing with family issues.
You cannot do everything alone.
You need the support of your spouse to help you through.
But in your abusive relationship, your spouse feels as if the onus of fulfilling duties is yours alone.
If this is not emotional abuse, what else can it be?
6. By denying you affection
Your spouse denies you affection by making you feel unloved and uncared.
Your spouse never smiles at you. Though you are feeling downcast there is no consolation from him\her.
There is no encouragement. There is no appreciation. There is no emotional support. There is no sharing of your problems.
This is yet another shattering emotional abuse in your marriage.
7. Being dominating
When your spouse is being abusive, he\she literally takes over your life.
You cannot do anything without the permission of your spouse.
You are compelled to dress as your spouse wants you to.
Your hard-earned money is controlled by your spouse.
You have to behave as your spouse demands you to do. Soon you begin to feel that you are no longer yourself.
8. Being secretive
In a good relationship, there are no secrets between you and your spouse.
You know what your spouse is up to as he\she confesses about what he\she intends to do with his\her life.
But when your relationship is abusive, your spouse hides his\her whereabouts, decisions and intentions so much so that everything about him\her is too secretive for your comfort.
Conclusion
“Emotional abuse is any type of abuse that is not physical in nature. It can include everything from verbal abuse to the silent treatment, domination to subtle manipulation.” Beverly Engel
Can you see the types of emotional abuse in your marriage?
You never really realize it until too late. It is because in your love for your spouse you scarcely notice it.
This is very dangerous. Your delay in reacting when you are abused by your spouse might take your marriage to a point of no return.
I have started a Youtube channel about relationships.
“Marriage Realities” is a comprehensive relationship channel which deals with many emotional problems couples face in their marriage.
Here is the link to my relationship channel.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNrT3KOkTU5ITQMyYnVsxGQ
Subscribe to my channel to understand your marriage in a new light.
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