Making your long- distance relationship work is not an easy joke.
Many a time, the distance between you in miles or kilometers, also brings emotional distance between you. It is natural that you long for the proximity of your spouse, though you are compelled to live away from him\her.
When you were with your spouse, you felt his\her love. When you are angry with your spouse, you argued with him\her and conveyed your diversified thoughts in no uncertain terms.
When you had family issues, you looked towards your spouse for emotional support. When you were sexually hungry, you enjoyed physical intimacy with your spouse.
But nothing of your normal expectations about your married life, happens in your long-distance relationship.
It is only natural that you want to live with your spouse and children, as one happy family.
You want a normal life of going to work, and returning back home to a warm togetherness with your spouse and children. Your family means that much to you.
But it sometimes happens that you have to be away from your family, due to your work commitments. With job opportunities widening, there are times you have to work in a different place.
Sometimes in a different country, also.
Due to your financial commitments, you agree to a job, though it is far away from your home. But it is a fact, you feel emotionally shattered to be away from your near and dear ones. Since you need the money, you have no other go, than say yes to a job opportunity which will be taking you miles away from your family.
Though you agree to work far from your family, you miss them.
After all they mean the world to you, don’t they?
It is a bitter truth that in life, sentiments often do not work. It is the harsh practicality of life which comes to the foray. When you accept your job away from your spouse, you inwardly know that your relationship with him or her has to be handled differently.
You understand that you must make your love felt by your spouse, even during your absence.
You must make your love for each other, withstand the distance between you. You must make your love be felt by your spouse, even if you are miles away from each other.
This is what makes your long-distance relationship a tricky one. When you live away from your spouse, many doubts about him\her cloud your mind.
You are worried that your spouse might be throwing money away in wasteful spending, and plunging your family into debts. You become stressed, thinking that your spouse might become intimate with his\her friends of the opposite sex.
You are strung up that your spouse is having fun time, while you have to be all alone in an unknown country. A mild change in the voice of your spouse, when he\she talks to you makes you feel depressed that he or she no longer loves you.
When your spouse cuts short your conversation, you invariably think that he\she no longer wants to interact with you. When you hear voices of the opposite sex when you are talking with your spouse, you have all sorts of suspicions that a new person has entered his or her life.
When your spouse does not call you on scheduled time, you presume that he\she has lost interest in you. When you have such doubts about your spouse, you lose your peace of mind. Your mind becomes confused with wild imagination about your spouse.
You no longer interact with your spouse with love, but become interrogative and probing.
This is a grave mistake, which most couples commit in their long-distance relationship.
You often have doubts whether your marriage can survive the distance between you. You feel depressed by the loneliness that envelops you.
When you are suspicious about your spouse, it becomes a danger signal to your marriage. If you become suspicious, you tie yourself into a knot, imagining all sorts of negative things about your spouse.
Imagining unwanted things about your spouse, will only make you feel lonely and dejected. And when you ask doubting questions to your spouse, it is only natural that he\she feels furious about your accusations.
This sort of doubts and suspicions will make your long-distance relationship transform into a nerve-wracking experience to you. You should never commit this mistake.
You might be away physically from your family. But your love and trust for your spouse should be strong to make it speak through the distance.
Shall we look at a small example?
You do not live with your parents, do you?
But your love for your parents never wavers. You never for once doubt the love and care of your parents.
How does this happen?
It is because you have absolute faith in the love of your parents. Your love for your spouse also should be like this.
Implicit! Complete! Unwavering! Absolute!
Shall we now look at some intelligent to making long-distance relationship work?
- Do not always keep clarifying your doubts when you talk with your spouse, as it makes him\her angry.
- Make sure that you not call during the work hours of your spouse, as it makes him or her feel tensed and stressed.
- Do not keep questioning your spouse about the depth of his\her love for you. Your unwanted questioning will only make your spouse feel bored to talk to you.
- Instead, make your conversation with your spouse, breezy and friendly, so that he\she looks forward to your call.
- When talking with your spouse, enquire caringly about his\her health.
- When your spouse says that he\she doing important official work, you should be understanding enough to tell him\her that you will call later.
- Do not make your voice cold and formal, while talking with your spouse.
- Look presentable when you are talking with your spouse, so that he or she feels good looking at you.
- It is all fine to tell your spouse that you miss him\her. But do not keep cribbing that you dislike being away from your family. Cribbing, makes conversation with you highly tensed and boring to your spouse.
- Do not utter unthinking and unreasonable words, as it creates lots of misunderstanding and resentment in your relationship.
- You should express how you miss your spouse.
When you are away from your spouse, there are lot of temptations which you should avoid.
- Do not develop unnecessary friendship with the opposite sex.
- Do not spend your free time with your newly acquired friends of the opposite sex.
- When you hide your friendship from your spouse, it just means that there is something sneaky about your relationship.
- That does not mean you should not have friends. You should know your limits. Do not exceed it.
Do you want to know the top aspects needed to make your long-distance marriage work?
- Be trusting.
- Be loving and communicative.
- Make your love felt by your spouse, even though you are far away from him\her.
- Never nag about how your spouse is not being responsible.
- Never portray yourself as a martyr, and your spouse as an offender.
- Do not be needlessly suspicious about your spouse.
When you trust your spouse, you will understand that he\she loves you. The distance between you should make your love grow. Your spouse should sense your love and care, in spite of the miles between you.
Many years back, the only way of communication when you were away from the family was letters, nothing else. But now, there are many ways you can communicate with your spouse. Mobile phones and web camera have literally narrowed the gap between you and your spouse.
So, modern technology helps a lot in making long distance relationship work.
CONCLUSION
Can you that making long distance relationship work is quite easy?
It is true that you miss your spouse, when you live away from him\her. But when your family situation demands that you should live away from your spouse, you should accept it.
When your love for each is strong enough, you can easily narrow the distance between you.
Leave a Reply