Is taking back your disloyal husband advisable?
It is a million-dollar question.
Your life turns upside down when your husband is disloyal to you. After he deserts you, your days are spent in tearful agony.
You become cynical at the futility of your love when your husband indulges in extra-marital affairs, don’t you?
You wonder how your husband could be so callous to leave you for another woman.
As days go by, your love for your husband dies. You become furious at the injustice meted out to you by him.
You now feel that your husband is not fit for your love. You just want to throw him out of your life, so that you can have some peace of mind. You vow never to forgive him.
You are indeed justified in feeling furiously angry with your husband who has made a mockery of your love.
Yes!
Your disloyal husband does not deserve your love.
“You know how much we struggled to get the permission of our parents for our marriage, aunty” Celina, my distant cousin’s daughter told me.
“We did live happily for some years. But I never knew the darker side of my husband. He had been cheating me behind my back. When I knew about the cheating of my husband, my world came crashing to my feet” the young told me tearfully.
“I could no longer live with my husband aunty. So, l left him. Now, he has come back asking for forgiveness. Initially I blasted my husband for his audacity in asking forgiveness for the unforgivable agony he had given me. I told him to just get out of my life”, Celina looked angry.
“But I had to think of my children. They love their father, aunty” Celina went on.
“So, I thought for a long time and have decided to take my husband back. But do not think I have forgiven him. I will never ever do it” Celina angrily told me.
“I accepted my husband because I did not to let him off the hook. If I reject him, I am sure he will find another woman. I want him to do his duties for the family, which he had so far haven’t done” the young girl told me grimly.
“I have told my husband that if he strays again that would be the end of our relationship. He has promised me to be a dutiful father and a loving husband. He would better be” Celina looked like she meant business.
Was Celina justified in taking back her disloyal husband?
Well, most of you would feel she was foolish in taking back her husband who did not care for her.
But if you think practically, Celina has given her children the security of a united family.
But I would not have blamed Celina if she had rejected her cheating husband. She was justified in her anger and she had every right to reject him.
In today’s world, most women find it near impossible to take back their disloyal husband.
Rightfully so.
What is the use of pouring your love on a person who does not deserve it?
Nowadays, women know about their rights. They know what is good for them. They also know how to take care of themselves. And I am sure, most women would throw their husband out of their life if he dared to cheat.
I too in no way endorse the way Celina’s husband behaved. It is indeed a shame that he left his wife and children for some other woman.
But I appreciate the way Celina made the life of her children emotionally secure. There are times practicality makes you take the right decision in life.
Can you take back your disloyal husband?
When your husband cheats you, it is a worst form of relationship destroyer.
When your husband makes you secondary in his life, you lose the love you have for him. You lose your respect and you never want to set your eyes on him. You want to end your marriage.
As long as your disloyal husband does not intrude into your life again, you gradually forget the mental torture you underwent when he left you in the lurch. You begin your life anew.
But when your husband comes back to you asking for forgiveness, your initial reaction is blasting him in no uncertain terms. You show your husband the door, as you have lost all your love for him.
It is only natural you feel glowering anger when your husband returns back to you, after shattering your life with a blow, which struck you right in the heart.
After you show your husband the door, most of you are now confused whether you have done the right thing in throwing your cheating husband out of your life. You dither on divorcing him, though your anger is still vivid and raw.
You know that divorce is a full stop to your marriage. You are worried about the finality of it
You are muddled up because of your children. Your children still love your husband and want him back as their father.
Your husband had been a good father to your children. Though your children are angry with their father, they think back at the fun times they had together. They want those days back.
When you see the yearning of your children, you become emotional about the trauma they are undergoing as a divided family.
“I will forgive him, one last time” you tell yourself.
This is the reason, most of you take back your husband who has betrayed your trust.
How to handle your disloyal husband?
Now, that you have taken back your cheating husband, you must do things to repair your marriage.
You should be prepared to forgive your husband. Otherwise, you will keep arguing him about his cheating. This causes many ugly scenes between you.
You must warn your husband that you will never tolerate such behavior from him in the future. It is very natural for you to feel anger against your husband, even after accepting him back.
But do not indulge in unnecessary bickering, as the ones affected by your fights will be your children.
You should never let your anger go very deep, as it might turn into hatred against your husband. When there is hatred, there is no hope that your relationship with your husband will ever be happy.
When your husband tries to be normal with you, you too should reciprocate. It is no use staying in a marriage when you behave like enemies.
Do not bring up the topic of the cheating of your husband needlessly. It creates tons of resentment in your marriage. The atmosphere in your home will turn oppressive.
Do not turn suspicious about everything your husband does. You will not have a moment of peace.
Conclusion
“Cheating and lying aren’t struggles, they’re reasons to break up.”- Patti Callahan Henry,
Time is a great healer.
Your anger too will change. When your husband behaves himself, you can retrieve back your lost life.
When you let bygones be bygones; it is only matter of time when your anger gradually takes a back seat to let your love take the driver seat.
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Here is the link to “Marriage Realities.”
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