Most of you wonder what could be the perfect age difference between husband and wife, don’t you?
First of all, is age difference between husband and wife a deciding factor for a successful marriage?
When love is the factor that brings longevity to your married life, age should not matter, doesn’t it?
So, how could age difference between husband and wife have a negative impact in a married life?
It is true that age difference between husband and wife is just a biological factor. But its contribution towards the longevity of your marriage is awesome.
Do you know why?
It is because age plays a major role in the mental attitude and behavior of a man or a woman.
Your mentality is never static. As you age, your mindset changes accordingly.
Yes!
It is a fact that you evolve and mature with your age.
“I made a blunder in marrying a woman twelve years elder to me” Sudhesh, a boy I knew told me with regret written all over his face.
“Why do you say so, Sudhesh? I asked him worryingly.
“Well aunty, my wife acts like a school teacher towards me. She keeps on advising me about everything so much so that her preachy behavior makes me feel edgy. And she is so mature in her thinking that there is no fun factor in my marriage” Sudhesh looked agitated.
I think Sudhesh had a point there.
He was just twenty-six year old, but the woman he married was around thirty-eight years of age. Naturally, the attitude of his wife was very mature and worldly because of her age, whereas Sudhesh was energetic and agile as he was very young.
“A man should marry a girl younger to him” my mother was talking to me about theright age difference between husband and wife.
“Why do you say so, amma? I asked her.
“You see, a man is physically agile and mentally young until he reaches his middle age. But a woman becomes mature in body and mind earlier than a man. So, a woman will be unable to keep up with the verve of her husband if she is too elderly to him” my mother smilingly told me.
“Your mentality changes with your age. When a man or a woman marries a person with a huge age gap, their marriage struggles to find its foothold because of their clashing mentality. This is the real reason why the age difference between husband and wife plays a huge role in marriage” I too felt that my mother was right in her point.
It is a fact that a huge age difference between couples often does not work.
Are you wondering why?
Marrying a person too elderly to you or too younger to you might not be a good idea.
Let us see the logical reasons.
What happens when a sixty-year-old man marries a twenty-year-old young girl?
This marriage will never work.
Because the girl is young enough to be his daughter. When the girl is too young, she wants to enjoy her life. She wants to enjoy a perfect sex life with her husband.
Look wise too, they would be a complete mismatch. A twenty-year-old would look bubblingly youthful. Whereas the sixty-year-old man would look far too elderly that they would look like father and daughter.
Mentality wise also, they would always be at loggerheads.
The sixty -year-old man will never satisfy his wife with a verve of a thirty-year-old. The difference in looks, in attitude towards life foretells the short span of such a marriage.
The same applies when a sixty-year-old woman marries a man very junior to her.
What happens to a marriage wherein the husband is eighty-years-old and the wife is in her middle age?
Here too the age difference is too huge for the marriage to survive.
When a man marries when he is in the eighties, it is mostly out of physical attraction. And a woman who marries such an old man, marries him for his money.
Physical attraction and marrying for money make their relationship fickle and without the depth of love.
What then is the perfect age difference between husband and wife?
I feel a perfect age difference that is good for your marriage is about three to four years.
Do you know why?
When you are near in the equal age group, you will find many things in common between you.
- Both you and your spouse will have the same wavelength.
- Both will be raring to enjoy your life.
- Both will be in your prime of your life.
- Both will have lots of year ahead of you to earn for the betterment of your family.
Does this mean that a relationship between husband and wife who have perfect age difference would be an ideal marriage?
Well!
No.
Ideal age difference does not guarantee a perfect marriage. All that it guarantees is that both are in your optimum best, physically and mentally.
But it in no way guarantees a successful marriage.
Successful marriage depends on many other things than your age.
- You need compatibility.
- You need love and care.
- You need mutual respect.
- You need trust and faith.
When you combine all these factors with a reasonable age difference, your married life would flourish.
Conclusion
It is all fine to say that love does not depend upon, age, looks, money or social status.
It is true that social status or looks cannot make your marriage happy. It is because its impact is fickle and transitory.
But age difference plays a massive role in your marriage. It is because age decides your mental attitude. When your mental attitude clashes with that of your spouse, your marriage nose dives towards failure.
Of course, there are exceptions of couples with huge age difference enjoying a stable marriage.
But these exceptions are far in between. The rule of the thumb is that too much age difference between husband and wife, can undo your marriage in a telling manner.
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Here is the link to “Marriage Realities”
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