Anger in marriage destroys your relationship in a telling way, doesn’t it?
It is very normal to be angry when your spouse does certain things you do not like. This scenario exists in almost all marriages.
There is nothing wrong in it.
There is one type of anger which is good for your relationship. You show your anger to put forth your thoughts to your spouse. You fight fair in this form of anger. It makes you understand each other better.
There is another type of anger. You are keyed up about your work related problems. Or you are tensed by the minor faults of your spouse. So, you spill forth words which shows your anger and resentment.
This sort of anger can be tolerated if it is occasional. It is actually bad for your relationship, as your spouse hates the anger you display.
But, when you are angry for silly reasons, it spells danger to your relationship. When you physically and verbally abuse your spouse, it leads to the inevitable failure of your marriage. It is the ugliest form of anger.
What are the common reasons for anger in marriage?
You have many unrealistic expectations about your spouse. You expect a rosy marriage, life full of laughter and fun.
You never understand that it exists only in fairy tales. You are frustrated when your expectations crumbles to dust. You vent your frustration by bursting out in anger. You inflict tremendous hurt in your spouse by your unthinking words.
Anger takes different forms and shapes in your married life. And there are different ways your spouse displays his\her anger.
Shall we see in detail the top 3 types of anger in marriage?
1. Sensible anger
This is the most beautiful form of anger in marriage.
Anger is a common emotion in today’s modern marriages as both lead a hectic lifestyle. So, it is only natural you flash up in anger very easily. This does not mean you do not love your spouse. You are just letting off some steam.
When your spouse is angry, he\she directly tells you what was it in you that made him\her feel angry. He\she shows his\her anger in a reasonable manner.
Your spouse does not dig up old fights. His\her arguments does not deviate to unwanted topics. It ends with each apologizing for the anger shown.
You want to listen to your spouse when he\she is reasonable. Your fight ends immediately as there is no bitterness. The aftermath of your fight is the romantic making up which makes you love your spouse even more.
But this sort of anger in marriage is very rare.
2. Resentful anger
Your spouse withdraws into his\her shell when he\she is angry.
He\she maintains resentful and stoic silence.
Your spouse does not say why he\she is angry. But his\her sullen behavior displays his\her anger emphatically.
You are exhausted trying to find out the reason for the anger of your spouse. But you might as well be talking to a wall.
The wooden silence of your spouse is as worse as open display of anger. You never know where you stand in your relationship. In fact, you want your spouse to spill forth his\her anger so that you know the real reason.
This sort of anger in marriage does no good to your relationship.
3. Abusive anger
This is the worst form of anger in marriage.
Your spouse utters profanities with ease.
He\she yells at the top of his\her voice that it could be heard outside also.
You feel humiliated. You cringe in shame.
You wonder how your spouse could be so callous to depict his\her anger in such a crude manner.
You feel irritated and annoyed by the unwarranted angry words spoken by your spouse.
Such violent anger in marriage has a very bad repercussion in your relationship.
Frequent spurt of anger makes your interaction hostile and aggressive. Both act as though you were enemies. Unreasonable and ugly display of anger can end your marriage in the divorce court.
Abusive anger has a snowballing effect. It turns into an avalanche to swallow your marriage by its sheer fury.
CONCLUSION
Anger is a beautiful form of emotion when it is mild and reasonable. You easily understand that the anger of your spouse is momentary and temporary.
Words have awesome power. Loving words make your relationship enjoyable. But angry words leaves behind a scar of unhappiness in your relationship.
Tolerance and adaptability is the key to a happy marriage. When you are not tolerant, you make much ado about the small mistakes of your spouse. Finding faults in your spouse for petty reasons is a big no.
Be easily adjustable and flexible. Forgive and forget the anger of your spouse. Make anger in marriage just a passing emotion. Do not make anger turn into slow poison to eventually kill your relationship.
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